I get it,
It’s hard when you’re trying to do your best for those that you love.
Especially with everyone telling you, you should just work harder…
..you have to sacrifice now for what you want…
In fact, I was talking to my good friend and past client Jonny the other day who was telling me about the time he had a simple but profound realization.
Jonny’s daughter was two at the time, he’d just broken up from her mother and had shared custody.
Whilst running his business and dealing with the day to day chaos of life he told me he’d always do this thing with his daughter…
He called it
“5 more minutes”
This would occur mostly in the evenings when he was STILL working into the evenings instead of spending time with his 2-year-old daughter.
In his own words, he would always tell her; “babe, just gives me 5 more minutes, then…”
…then i’ll play with you.
…then i’ll give you a cuddle and tuck you in.
This would continue through the evening until he’d finished that final “important” email…
…most of the time (by the time he was ready) she’d fallen a sleep.
In fact, he said…
“Tim, I can’t explain how guilty I felt when I’d turn around and she’d already been asleep, all she wanted to be her dad”
Not that the first time he felt this it stopped him
In fact, this continued for a good few months.
He continued to tell himself…
That he was doing this FOR his daughter…
…so they could live in a nice house, go on nice holidays and trips and have money to enjoy life together.
And it wasn’t until his daughter walked up to him and said this ONE thing, that everything changed.
Jonny said to me…
“It was a Saturday afternoon, and for some reason…
…most likely because of how much guilt I was dealing with at the time for basically ignoring my daughter and putting work ahead of her…
I decided to sit down and actually play with her, presently, engaged WITHOUT my phone…
… and after about 20 minutes of playing ponies, she walked up to me, gave me hug and said
“Thank you, Daddy”
When he asked why?
She said “for playing with me”
It was at that moment Jonny’s heart dropped and he had the realization that the story he had been living in was FALSE.
It had become fractured…
He’d told himself for so long that he was sacrificing for his family…
…but they didn’t want the money or the stuff, they didn’t give a fuck…
His daughter didn’t want the toys, or holidays or care how much money was in the bank
She just wanted her dad.
And that’s when he told me he had the realization…
“Kids don’t want presents, they want PRESENCE”
You see, so many men tell themselves a story that their hustle & sacrifice is for their family…
But I’ll have you consider that if you truly asked them what they wanted.
They would probably say YOU.
