Are You Begging For Sex?

Episode #335

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Episode Transcript

Doug Holt  0:00

And then when they put it together, that’s when it hits them, and I’m not doing it from a critical standpoint. I’ve seen it so many times, or I’ve heard about it, I’ve never seen it. But what often happens is the guy is like, Hey, babe, how about a blowjob, or can you give one? Like a request? And she says, No, it’s like, Oh, come on, please. I did the dishes, or I’ll do this. Come on, just one or the guy has a tantrum. You never do this, which if you ask a woman is the most unsexy thing a guy could do.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host, Tim, “The Powerful Man” Matthews. How are you doing, brother? 

Tim Matthews: 0:10

I’m doing well, how are you doing? 

Doug Holt  0:16

Tim, I’m doing great, man, and doing great and having a great week. Life is good. When you sit back and reflect on life and where you’ve come from, and just the men we serve, had a great thing, guys, if you get a chance, go over to YouTube and look at the video about or in the Facebook group. We did Ben Wood, one of our graduates. He’s gone through The Activation Method and The Alpha Reset onto The Brotherhood, just a fabulous guy. He’s out of the UK. As you know, Tim. And he raised his hand several times. The guys raised their hands and said, hey, look, I want to share my story. These aren’t guys that jump in front of the camera or anything else. It’s just not what they do. But I want to share my story. So other guys have an opportunity because he’s come so far away. Since talking to Ben, it’s just lit me up. So I’m excited about that. But today’s a little bit different. So Tim, what I want to talk about today is how to stop begging for sex. you see, many guys get caught in a situation; I get it. As a guy, where if the pool is dry, right, and you’re not getting anything coming in, you start to get some needy, you’re starting to get needy, and for some guys, they start begging. Now guys beg for sex for different reasons, right? It’s the same outcome we’re looking for. But for some guys, they’re begging for sex because their wife is the only person that can provide it. Other guys are kind of begging for sex. And I’ll talk about different ways guys beg because they’re also worried that they’re going to go out and cheat to get their needs met. Right? And that’s a common one depending on alpha, beta characteristics from guys or just their moral compass. So I’ll say that. So I want to talk about why you need to stop begging for sex and why that’s so important.

Tim Matthews  2:07  

Yep, let’s do it.

Doug Holt  2:09 

So what a lot of guys find themselves in the position of asking their wife. Oh, can I get a blowjob? Please? Come on. Come on, just to BJ real quick, or how about a quickie? And they ask for it. Like they’re asking their mom for a toy. Right? And that’s it. Guys don’t realize this at the time, but when I explain it to them like this, they’re like, Oh, crap, I do that. And then when they put it together, that’s when it hits them. Right. And I’m not doing it from a judgmental standpoint. We just I’ve seen it so many times or heard about it and haven’t seen it, or heard about it so many times.

Tim Matthews 2:46

I’m interested in seeing it.

Doug Hold 2:49

But what happens often is the guy’s like, Hey, babe, you know? How about a blowjob? Or can you give me one? Like it’s a request, and she says no, and he’s like, Oh, come on, please. I did the dishes, or I’ll do this, or I did that please come on. Just one or the guy has a tantrum. Do you never do this? Yeah. Which if you ask a woman, is the most unsexy thing a guy can do. Right? You’re abdicating your power to your spouse, your wife in this case, right? And you’re begging, which makes you subservient to her. And then she’s got this prize that can’t be found anywhere else in the world. And that you need to have it where you’re doing and not what your wife is doing, although we have encountered many a wife that do use this power for evil, right? She knows she’s got the power of the guy, so she’s going to manipulate them. But not all women do this. But if it’s unsexy, why would she want to do it right? She doesn’t want to; she’s going to give a blowjob to someone she’s not attracted to that she’s not physically or emotionally. And we know that women, although women are physically attractive, are really important. Right? It’s also really the energetic attractiveness that gets women hot and bothered. So, Tim, let’s talk a little bit more about this and expand on experiences you’ve had in this area.

Tim Matthews  4:14  

Let’s do it.

Doug Holt  4:16  

So tell us

Tim Matthews  4:19  

Experiences I yeah, I think for me in the past, my reaction hasn’t been the one where I’m going to get Hey, I did this. So you do that. I have in the past blown up, not necessarily immediately the past for me when I have blown up is the final straw for me is when it’s when a lot of other things are not happening in the relationship,  So like a lot of the guys say that come to us, Yes, sex is great. And it’s a lot of things they want the wife to be excited to see them when they come home, the one the wife to be able to just come up to them, kiss them, want to sit next to them, ask them how their day was able to share in some wins. So for myself, it’s similar, right? I love to have sex for the shot. And if I’m not having sex, and either things aren’t happening or in the past, and the other things weren’t happening, then sex was the final straw which point I’d kind of blow up. Not in the sense of saying, hey, you don’t want to have sex with me. But really, and I didn’t use to handle it well, to be honest. But it used to be a case of, Hey, I’m unhappy right now, because my needs are not being met. And not just not sexual, but intimate. My intimate needs, in general, are not being met. And I’ve communicated with them and all that kind of stuff. So yeah, I can see how it’s an easy trap to fall into. I love what you said about the women perceiving they have this prize, this piece of gold that can’t be gone anywhere else in the world because they can. I’m not suggesting you go out there and do that. 

And also, in the past, in relationships, when I was a lot younger face something I would do I used to put a lot more self-worth, I’ve been able to go out there and attract the girls, or the guys who wanted to be honest, and that wasn’t a healthy thing to do either. But today, I feel like I’m in a much better place, with I’m able to spot it a lot sooner. And I don’t know about your dog, still that for me to not blow up. I’ve got to spot it early on and spot the signs and be able to nip it in the bud. Because usually, other symptoms go with the lack of sex, I will be a disrespectful word. There’ll be others where it’s my fault that my boundaries will be getting tested. And I will then either allow things to slide and allow myself to be spoken to in a certain way. Maybe it may come across my Mila like she’s joking or whatever. But the thing for me that has shifted many things is when I don’t let those little leaks as little boundary inversions. Let’s call them slides that nip them in a book quickly. Because then what that says to me is going to respect, right? People respect the boundary, which then just filters into every part of intimacy because Amelia knows that I’m not going to tolerate certain things, which puts me in a much better position. So just like we spoke about on a previous podcast, playing the good card and the bad card. If you feel like you’re, I don’t use the word needs a lot of what I mean, if you feel like certain things have not been done for you in the relationship, not the house trading. And you’ve mentioned it, and you might choose to play the bad card; hey, I’m going out with the device. Hmm, I’ll come; we’re going, we’re going out. See you in an hour. So yeah, coming back full circle, I feel like I handle it a lot better these days than I used to do. And it still takes a real awareness to spot when that inversion of the boundaries happens. I can nip it in the bud early enough on and in a way that makes a statement that then filters into everything else. 

Doug Holt  8:42  

Yeah, so I love that. And thanks for sharing, because I think a lot of us find ourselves in that situation. And it is the figure that awareness is the first key. So I think most guys don’t realize they’re begging, right? And so, guys, the way this looks to a woman if you’re begging is you’re like, Oh, come on, please. Or can you do this? You’re married, And not only that, not that you should enforce, but you want to be in a position where she desires it to a woman wants to be seen, heard, and desired, right, those three things. And this is kind of naturally where the two things are coming together; One is by implementing the triad of connection, which we talked about in previous podcasts, implementing that triad; those three things are naturally going to get this process in your direction. The other thing that happens is engaged indifference. So, again, if it’s almost like a cat, right, Tim, it and I know this, I like cats are cool with me, I’ll have a cat. But a cat always goes to the person in the room that likes cats the least. It’s just that they know. It’s like a sixth sense, like, okay, you don’t like me, I’m going to be there. Well, as soon as you have if you’re doing the triad of connection,  so you’ve done the clean slate method, you’re currently using theHidden Motives Technique andLive Like A King system. That’s naturally going to spark curiosity there, and you’re bettering yourself. She’s going to be curious, and now if you approach it with a little bit of engaged indifference, as if she isn’t the only one, She isn’t the only one that can satisfy your needs. That shift in power dynamic is going to be very different. You’re not going to beg for it. You might walk up to her, grab her hips and go, alright, baby, let’s go into the back room. And she could say no. Now, if you’re making the triadic connection, which again is a clean slate method, hit Mo’s technique and Live Like A King system. You’re doing that triad. That’s what we teach them in. And then you also have engaged indifference. You’re just going to laugh it off. She says, No, you’re going to laugh it off and walk away. And she’s going to be like, What the heck? Where’s he going? What is he doing? Who’s feeling his needs? I want that guy. R We hear this time and time again, where guys, wives start pulling him in the shower; they start doing all of these things. The guy’s like, holy cow. We got a message today, Tim, from one of the guys in the inner circle, saying I am having the best and more sex than I’ve ever had in my life. And this guy’s in his 40s.

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. But I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing? Like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it. I get it. Go over right now to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus to discover the system that other businessmen just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies, ten men just like you who have found the solution and have found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Tim Matthews 11:16 

Have you watched what’s called the godfather of how a bumpy Johnson, you know, the film The Godfather? With Denzel Washington, I don’t know the gangster. Anyway, there was a scene last night I was watching. And a woman finds the house for him for bumpy Johnson. It’s a woman that she’s trying to coerce him. And he wasn’t in and his wife that later that evening. His wife is sitting there in the bedroom, his son on the bed. His wife turns to bumpy Johnson and says, hey, there’s a woman that called for you today. As I Oh? Slight? Yeah. Hmm. Strange. I don’t know who that is. She’s putting on stockings and their underwear. She walks over to him, and she goes, why do you tell a woman that she does not need to call her again because I’ve got everything under control. She just puts a hand on his chest and goes into the thing. And he just lays back and his reaction to a woman later in the episode to that same woman trying it on his reaction before that move by his wife. And after that move by his wife was golden. And it was great. I was just thinking, Wow, well handled. Well, handle, but it’s the same thing if you know, the idea of Okay, who is this? It piques curiosity. And for some women, it’s going to pull them in depending on the woman as well. Pull them in.

Doug Holt  12:52  

Or if you’re making the traffic connection, it’s going to pull them in. That’s why you need to try to connect and engage the difference together. It’s like the perfect formula for working in this situation. Now the problem is, let’s go back to the problem and talk about why guys see this. The problem is, think of your kids, right, guys, you have kids, when your kids are begging for something Come on, Daddy, please, please, please, please, please, please. It just annoys the hell out. Yeah,  Eventually, you either yell, or maybe you’ll give in just to shut them up. But you don’t do it because you want to. Your wife looks at you as a kid. You’re just another kid pulling on her. Please give me a blowjob. Please. Let’s have sex, please. You know you’re not saying it that way, hope, but it comes across that way. 

Tim Matthews  13:38   

Energetically you are

Doug Holt  13:40

Energetically you are for sure. And she’s telling her girlfriends I guarantee that. You know my wife, as we talked about the podcast before, she coaches women, so I get to hear The down and dirty from all of these other women around, you know that she’s coaching in the groups that she’s running. And when she’s doing this, this is what the women are complaining about. It’s not sexy; she’ll sit, my wife will say it’s the least sexy thing a man can do is beg for sex. It’s just not sexy at all. Because really, now you’re just another child. She doesn’t want another child, right? Or maybe she does. But she wants a baby and all that, you know, going that route, she doesn’t want an adult child. It’s not enough, and she’s going to start looking to get her needs met elsewhere. Maybe it’s the rabbit, and she’s taken time off in the bathroom in the bedroom by herself. Maybe it’s an emotional affair on social media; maybe it’s an affair. So that’s the key you don’t want to beg for it. Now you can put out invitations. But if you do it in a masculine way, using the triadic connection, using engaging indifference, that’s a whole different ball game. You’re playing in a different league at that point. And if your wife has any attraction to you at all, that’s going to get her back in. It doesn’t happen, you know, doesn’t mean it happens day one; many guys, it does. But it depends on how far down we talked about scales in a previous podcast, Tim, is how far down you’ve gone, what’s gone on in your relationship. But this formula works every time. And the key here is just to stop begging immediately. Immediately, she’s going to notice if you stop begging or stop asking, right, so to speak. She’s going to notice that’s going on; she probably won’t say anything to you. But she’ll notice. And guys, if you start doing some of the other techniques that we’re talking about here, clean slate method, Live Like A King system, adding these things on Hidden Motives Technique. This is really where you’re going to go. And what happens for guys is you’re going to go from deactivated, the guy that’s begging to activate it, a guy that’s turned on, switched on, and ready to roll. Like he sees it. That’s what women want. This is you’re an alpha, And I’m not talking about beating your chest alpha, going to go beat up everybody, not that kind of alpha, you’re turned on, switched on, and ready to roll. Like you got it. You know what you want; you’re going after it. And if she says no, you just laugh and walk away, like it’s no big deal. The best part about it is it happens naturally. This is not some forced thing that you have to do. When you apply these techniques, it just happens. And when you get activated, there’s no turning back. It’s like turning, and it’s turning on like a perpetual motion engine that keeps building and building and building. And it’s an amazing thing to see.

Tim Matthews  16:22 

I mean, the thing is when you are deactivated now the guys are trying to be so empty, Because they’ve just started to put everybody else’s needs before their own as well. Be the business, be the staff, be the family, whatever usually is not working out. There are various things that go hand in hand with it, And that’s part of what leads them begging as well. It’s very difficult in that place to be able just to brush it off and carry on. And that’s, in my opinion, one of the pieces I love most about the tragic connections Live Like A King system because that flips that on its head. And when you are naturally full, you’re activated, you’re full, and you’re allowing your fullness to spill over and fuel everybody else, which is what you’re just talking about a moment ago. It’s very easy to walk away when initiation for sex may not be received because you’re not reliant on the sex for anything. It’s you know, you want to have it. It’s great when you do it feels amazing. And you know, you understand your value, you see you understand your worth as an activated man, and as you said though, you’re on point. She feels that as well you feel it, she feels it you feel it when you walk in the office, you feel it when you walk into the door, you feel it, just like you feel it when you deactivate is a really important point to note as well because if you have found yourself in the trap where you have, you know, begged for sex. I think part of the reason for that well, I know to be honest part of the reason for that is good is likely to be that you deactivate and extract apart from a couple that’s always been answered, just not possible. Instead of people getting the best of you, they get the rest of you, so you gotta make that shift if you want to stop begging and as a result well as a result but the way to do that like you said the triadic connection Live Like A King system in particular that one piece and that’s why the best the triadic connection is alive as a king system, It holds up the other two pillars, the clean slate hidden motives. Yes, the clean slate it’s a little bit first. Then once that’s done, it’s life as a king that holds up the sides. So very easy. You know, in the Name right Live Like A King. It’s very easy when you live as a king just to let it just flow off here. If you said no, chances are you’re going to get a yes.

Doug Holt  18:53 

So guys, if you find yourself in this situation, again, most of you guys aren’t begging consciously right things are just it’s coming out that way, though. And maybe it’s not you, but here’s what we want to do. Right away, Stop, stop begging, I can I get it, I understand it, and I know you need it. Stop begging, put into practice the triad of connection, clean slate method, Hidden Motives Technique, Live Like A King system, and then operate out of engaged indifference. Your whole world is going to flip, guys, guarantee it, or your whole world is going to change. Do those three things. And you’re going to go from begging, a deactivated man to an activated man. That’s what we do in The Activation Method, we get you activated, and that’s the key. So it’s only three things that’ll get you there, guys. It works every time but whenever you do, stop begging; if you don’t need to be needy, you don’t need to be that little boy. Be the man that we know you are. Gentlemen, that’s a wrap for us here at The Powerful Man show. As always, if you want to get free training go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus. That’s ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus. I will see you next time. Here on The Powerful Man show. Have an amazing week, guys.