Episode #732
How are you preparing your family for potential challenges in the midst of global crises, such as the ongoing Palestine-Israel conflict?
Are you taking proactive steps to ensure psychological well-being and family harmony during times of heightened tension and uncertainty?
In this riveting podcast discussion, Arthur, Tim, and Doug delve into the critical importance of preparing families for external conflicts while fostering psychological resilience within the home.
In this episode, you’ll learn about the significance of heeding warning signs and taking proactive measures to maintain family harmony in the face of global unrest.
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Transcription
Doug Holt 00:22
Hey, guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Powerful Man Show. I am here once again with Arthur Magoulianiti and Tim Matthews. And, guys, we had an interesting sidebar conversation that I want to spin to something that applies to our men. We were talking about the state of the world. So Arthur lives in Cyprus. Tim, you live in the UK. I live in the States.
One of the great things about The Powerful Man is we’re an international organization of powerful business leaders, and sometimes information comes down to us that may not get to the public or other things happen. But we were talking about the idea of being prepared, being prepared with our families for a worst case scenario, whether it be World War Three, an EMP, or just the power outage right from a storm.
And as we were talking about that, and we were talking about how we prepared for different scenarios, what we think is likely to happen, and et cetera, et cetera, it made me think about how are men preparing their families for divorces? How are they preparing their families for other circumstances that may come?
We have a lot of men that we talk to in the movement who will spend time, money investing in generators, food supplies, weapons, guns, especially here in the States, and things of that nature to prepare for a worst case scenario so they can protect their families. But yet these same men, or different men aren’t preparing themselves or their families for situations as far as conflict in the home, situations where the husband and wife aren’t getting along yet, they’re not investing that time and that money into going to a program that will help them bring closer together.
So I guess what I want to talk about today and get your guys’ opinion is how does a man safeguard and protect his family from the internal struggles within the family system?
Tim Matthews 02:06
Great question. One of the first things that comes to mind, which isn’t necessarily related to a struggle per se, that’s here and now, the idea of health. A lot of our guys will make sure they get in certain checks done every year, not just the surface level ones, but they’ll go deeper as well. Right? To understand what’s really going on in their body, what they should be doing to optimize their hormones, testosterone, whatever it may be, right? Which think is really important because our guys love to push themselves both physically, emotionally, spiritually. They push themselves in many different ways in all five territories.
So I think them having the optics on what’s actually going on beneath the surface is really important, right? Because then they can put measures in place ahead of time and be proactive. Take peptides or TRT or eat certain foods or whatever that helps them be in a position where the health can be the wealth. Because if they don’t have the health, it makes everything else a little bit harder, right? We all know if we’re stressed and tired we can feel more on edge. So then it can make arguments more likely, we can feel more stressed. So I think that’s a really important one where it’s easy to plan and get ahead of it and be proactive.
Doug Holt 03:30
That’s a really good know. And a lot of men that you’ll see in the quote, prepper world or something like that may not be in shape. So they’ve got all this money. Clicking a link on Amazon is easy, but actually going to the gym and working out, like if something were to happen to your kids, if you’re just hiking, right? Something I think about, a lot of times when I’m working out or doing CrossFit, I think about, okay, my son is about 40 pounds, I have a 40 pound sandbag and I’m running going, why am I doing this? It comes across like, well, what happens if I’m out hiking or mountaineering, which is something my family loves to do.
If my son breaks an ankle or something else happens, God forbid, can I put him over the shoulder and can I get him out of there or run him out? Or my wife, who weighs more than 40 pounds, can I get her out safely and effectively? If there is a fire or something.
Tim Matthews 04:22
Yeah, good point.
Arthur Magoulianiti 04:23
Along those lines, are you going to be a statistic or are you going to be like one of the leaders coming out of something like that? And I think that leads into the point I want to make is about responsibility. And I think we chatted it about how getting your kids responsible from an early age is going to help the situation instead of everyone relying on you. And I think we as parents and successful parents, most of us, we want to save our children from the hard knocks of life and we want to guide them. And obviously that’s what parents want to do, protect their kids.
And yet most of us actually rob our children from learning responsibility at an early age because kids are really capable if we let them learn and then expect things from them. For example, why can’t they make their own breakfast? Why does my son have to rely, my 16 year old son have to rely on his mother for breakfast when he could quite easily make his own if he was asked to, if he was taught to? And so I think teaching our kids responsibility from an early age how to fend for themselves, how to feed themselves, I think, would pay dividends in a situation where things got problematic.
Doug Holt 05:35
I agree 100%. It’s an interesting thing that we talk about. And I was talking to one of our guys, Adam, and I’ve told you guys this story, had the pleasure of Colton and I sitting down with his wife and himself, and they cooked us breakfast. And the breakfast was amazing. Right? It was one of those times where you’re like, wow, this is really good.
And he kind of looked at me puzzled a little bit. He’s like, yeah, my six year old can make this. But he was not puzzled, I should say. And a conversation turned for he and I of saying, yeah, people don’t give their kids enough responsibility or they assume their kids can’t do it. He’s like, in fact, all my kids can cook and cook really well because we’ve taught them, gave them the skills and the responsibility to do so. Then you got, of course, the Jocko podcast that you and I have talked about a few times where Jocko is basically saying, if you’re not allowing your kid to cook, I think it was a three year old or something, then you’re crippling them.
Arthur Magoulianiti 06:26
Exactly.
Doug Holt 06:26
Right?
Arthur Magoulianiti 06:27
Yeah.
Doug Holt 06:27
And it’s just an interesting paradigm shift when you come through there. And when I think about right now, as we record this, the things that are going on, and who knows when this comes out, what’s happening. But things are in the early stages of the Israeli Palestinian conflict. And I also think about, okay, what in my house am I preparing my kids emotionally? But when the stressors come onto the family, how are the leaders? So, mom and Dad, how are they acting? Right? If they’re disconnected now, it’s not going to be good. It’s not going to be good during that time of conflict. So why aren’t fathers getting the skills necessary to lead and bring harmony into the home, right, during that time of conflict?
Tim Matthews 07:11
Yeah, it reminds me of COVID. Right? COVID hit, people spending more time together at home. Divorce rates went through the roof. So as we sit here right now, everybody knows that COVID has been. So you can either choose to use it as a warning sign. Hey, I either get my act together now and understand, to your point, Doug, of how to connect and how to communicate and how to come together in conflict versus move apart, so that if something does happen, then we’re better prepared.
Doug Holt 07:44
Well, yeah, that’s just it. We think about preparing or protecting your family. Right? One of the things I think is most underrated is the psychological preparedness and some of that. And it’s because it’s hard, right? Going on to Amazon and going, we were just talking about a solar stove, and I was like, well, maybe I need one. Click, click. It’ll be here in two days. Right? No big deal. I have the financial means, not a big deal. I don’t have to learn how to use it, probably, hopefully ever.
At the same time, I know when my wife and I were going through our hard times, learning how to communicate with her, learning how to not get triggered, when she would give me shit tests, that was tough. That wasn’t a one click thing. Yet it really shocks me for the position I stand in because we know the other side of it, that men aren’t investing in, that they’re not investing in keeping their family unit together, because God forbid, if something kicks off with this conflict, it becomes World War Three, which is people are talking about. And again, I don’t know when this comes out, it may have happened, may have never happened. We all hope it never does.
However, what could be worse than having a family divided during that time of conflict? As a father, I can only imagine if my wife would leave and leave with the kids and leave me alone, then I’d always be wondering, are they safe? Are my children? Who’s taking care of my children? What’s going on with my children? Yeah, I’ve got the solar stove, but if I don’t have connection within my family, what’s that really worth? And I think people often discount the psychological preparedness that gets to happen to truly have a thriving environment.
Arthur Magoulianiti 09:16
Yeah, I think what we’re talking about here is being proactive ahead of the situation. And during the situation, we’re also talking about leadership, taking a leading role, looking at the seed and saying, what would happen? How could it happen? What do I need to do about it? That’s being proactive, but it’s also about being a leader and stepping up and saying, okay, as a leader of this family, what do I need to take responsibility for? Because we talk about kids responsibility, but you got to take the ultimate responsibility because you are that leader of that family.
Tim Matthews 09:43
Yeah, I think if you think about how you can prepare yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. I think spiritually is important as well, but those three really come in strong. If you take the steps to prepare yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, you’re in a win-win position. Right? Because even if it never happens or is never needed, there’s still going to be a lot of transfer from those three things into your daily life, be it business, relationships, parenting, whatever. So you’re not going to lose anything by preparing yourself in those three areas.
Doug Holt 10:16
Well, it reminds me of a book. So this was back when I lived in Santa Barbara. So this has got to be. That’s funny to even think of this. Between 15 and 20 years ago, this book was out, and time flies, right? But I remember one of a guy I was talking to who’s actually a programmer, really successful computer programmer, but he got really into adventure stories. That was the thing he liked to talk to me about. I was a guy that was always backpacking, doing that kind of stuff. So it was something we had in common.
And he asked me, he’s like, what’s Doug? What’s the number one skill? When they’ve surveyed, all these people have been through plane crashes, going through Antarctica, whatever it is, then come out the jungle on the other side, so to speak, depending on the situation. What’s the number one skill all of them had in common? And I was sitting there, I was like, well, they probably all knew how to find water, right? Or something like that. No psychological strength. All of them had a paradigm of psychological strength that allowed them get through. In fact, a lot of them had no practical survival skills. Sure as heck no solar stove, right?
And you come through there, which then makes me think, to your point about leadership, because I do think, as a father and as a husband, we’ve talked about this. I think I have means, financial means. And whether I think something’s going to happen or not, if I’m a betting man, I’m going to hedge and just make sure I have water, check food for my family in case something happens, a storm, a power outage. I’ve had power outages here at my house where we live. Just because the electricity went off, because it’s an older situation or a transformer blows, then how can you make sure your family is okay, heating sources, et cetera.
But what people don’t talk about is the psychological preparedness. What do you do, and what’s the harmony like in the home? And to your point, Tim, if the harmony is unstable today, when COVID hits or whatever else, the next thing, something’s going to happen. It’s a severity we don’t know. But something will happen again. It could be an earthquake or a storm, Tornado could take the power out. But how are you preparing yourself and reconnecting the harmony in your home today so that when things happen, you have a more harmonious environment?
Tim Matthews 12:32
Yeah. I mean, regardless of what happens with this particular conflict, AI is coming. That’s another layer of disruption. Right? And depending on who’s listening to this and what career they have or occupation, that is more than likely it’s going to create disruption for all of us. Right? The degree to which it creates disruption is going to vary. So if you’re listening to this, thinking, oh, well, that conflict may not go anywhere, to your point, there’s always going to be something coming. So unless you focus on getting that harmony. And as you were talking about the psychological strength or resilience, it reminded me of that book by Viktor Frankl.
Doug Holt 13:13
Yep. Man’s search for meaning.
Tim Matthews 13:14
There we go.
Doug Holt 13:14
Great book.
Tim Matthews 13:15
Amazing book. You hear so many people talk about it, reference it. Right? And his whole thing in that book, his old philosophy is around the perspective, which he took in order to help him get through the situation, which was essentially what you just said about psychological well-being or resilience.
Doug Holt 13:33
Well, he was in the Holocaust, right?
Tim Matthews 13:34
Yeah. It’s crazy. One of the worst situations you could be in.
Doug Holt 13:38
Yeah. And it’s absolutely fantastic frame of mind and frame of reference there. Not the situation, of course, but we have a lot of the guys here that are listening to this right now are struggling in one of two areas. One is they’re feeling stuck in life and not sure what to do next. Right? Which then creates inaction, or they’re having problems in their marriage. Right? They feel like the classic story that I felt was, I remember laying six inches away from Erin, my wife, and feeling 6 miles apart, like we couldn’t be further apart from each other and just could not connect. And that’s also inaction.
If any of those situations are happening, guys, you need to take massive action to do something to move that ball forward. Now, if it comes to the practical sense of prepping, there are books you can get, hey, get a certain amount of water for your family, get a certain amount of food for your family. Things happen. Right? Again, a tornado can happen to your hometown. Just something simple. You don’t have to go all out and have underground bunkers and things of that nature. Some people choose to, but that’s not necessary, in my opinion. At least have the basics covered. And to me, part of the basics are the psychological components.
So if you’re feeling stuck and unsure about your current life situation, get help. If you’re having problems in your marriage, get help. Right? And then if you’re not sure what to do to prepare your family, get help. Right? Get those things done. And that’s what a leader does. They become proactive versus reactive. You don’t sit on your heels and wait for somebody to push you forward. For a lot of the guys, it’s when the wife serves divorce papers. That’s when we get a phone call. We talk to our advisors to see if it’s a good fit for them. The smart guys do it before the divorce papers happen.
Tim Matthews 15:19
Exact same thing.
Doug Holt 15:20
Yeah, they do it way before they’re preppers, because they’re prepping for their ideal life, and that brings their wife together. It actually saves their children, so to speak, from another disaster, which is a divorce. And look, my parents got divorced when I was five, and that was something that, of course, like everybody, I swore that would never happen to me. And that could have been a catalyst for me actually being able to put in so much work. Early on when we were going through the problems, the powerful man, the activation method didn’t exist.
So how are you, I’m asking the listener, how are you preparing for any disaster, whether it be a divorce, whether it be a tornado, or whether it be something else, another calamity in your life? What are you doing to prepare today?
Tim Matthews 16:02
Yeah. People often say the best time to plan divorce is when things are better than ever.
Doug Holt 16:06
Yes.
Tim Matthews 16:07
Right? Talk about it. Get clear on what you’re going to do. The best time is when things are going great.
Arthur Magoulianiti 16:13
Yeah. And I think a key point here, and you reference as well, Doug, is seek help, because if you’re going to be loan wolfing it, you’re going to go slow. And this is not an age or time that you get to go slow. This is not an age or time where you get to recreate the wheel. We have answers out there. There are support groups out there. Obviously, we are out there. And you’ll go further, faster with support than you trying to do this on your own.
Doug Holt 16:38
Yeah, I mean, look, guys, if you’re stuck in your marriage or you’re stuck somewhere else in life, I believe we have the best program out there. But either way, go talk to somebody. Talk to our advisors, talk to other people. Whatever it is, you got to go with somebody that you know, like and trust, somebody that’s gotten results for other people like you. You want to make sure that’s thing. You want to see testimonials. In fact, you don’t want to see one. You want to see 50 testimonials from people.
And the same thing goes in the other area. Like when I was actually, I was reading a book because I was on a long flight and I started listening to a book about EMPs, right? And I started getting into this almost disaster p*** fiction stuff. And I got into this book, p*** is not the right word, but you get the idea. And I got into this book about the practicalities of an EMP. So an EMP would be electrical pulse thing, right? That’s how technical I am with it. No clue. But basically it shuts down all electricity and then it talks about how this community goes through.
I picked up the phone and called a guy that’s nicknamed as the animal, and I gave him a call because he’s in this field and knows a lot about it. I said, hey, man, what do I need to do to prepare for my family? And next thing you know, boom, here’s this. This book. Do this, do this. And I became proactive in making sure that this wasn’t done because my thought process was, hey, look, I have the financial means. Time is tough for me, but I have the financial means. And if I’m going to bet on this, I want to make sure that I’m prepared. I’m going to hedge my bets. Hopefully this never happens, but if it does, I’ll be ready.
And that was the same mindset, Arthur, that I had when things were going between Erin and I is, you know, they weren’t as bad as they are with a lot of guys coming in, but they weren’t good. And so I hedged my bets and said, I’m going to invest in learning how to be an amazing husband. And it turned out to be an amazing man, in my opinion, going through there, but it would be a better man might be the way of saying that and really started learning what we had because we didn’t have things like the activation method back then.
Tim Matthews 18:35
So what three things guys can do right now, listening to this resonate and what can they do right now?
Arthur Magoulianiti 18:42
Number one is just take stock.
Doug Holt 18:43
That’s what I was going to say.
Arthur Magoulianiti 18:44
Take stock no matter what happens out there. How are you prepared or not to weather the storm?
Doug Holt 18:52
Yeah, I’ll go number two and you go number three. Number two for me would be it’s related to take stock, but I’m going to go specifically with the psychological component of it. Where are you and or your family? The weakest psychologically, which is a hard thing to think about because no one wants to think of themselves as weak, especially mentally or psychologically. But watch your family’s interactions.
If you were to have Oprah Winfrey come in, this is the one analogy, and she filmed your family for a week in their natural state. Is that something you’d want to air on TV, other people to see? And what were the weaknesses? Are your wife and you connected? Are your kids and you connected? If the answer is no to any of those things, then make drastic changes.
Not tomorrow. Do that one today, because that one’s going to take a little bit more time. It’s easy to click and two day shipping on Amazon to get your prepped stuff, but when you’re dealing with the psychological components of relationships, it tends to take a little bit more time and it’s something that’s much worth. It’s a greater investment because you’re going to get a greater return.
Tim Matthews 19:56
Yeah, I think for me it’s heed the warning, right? Heed the warnings. We’ve had COVID, we’ve had warnings around recession coming for a while. We’ve now got this happening and I’m speaking to myself as much as I have the listener.
Doug Holt 20:14
We all are.
Tim Matthews 20:15
All right. We’ve been in this conversation for years, right? And honestly, I’ve done nothing. I’ve had conversations with people. I’ve found out who around me, in my local area, could potentially form a support group with and what is their plan. But in terms of buying certain things, in terms of been having water and shelter and food, I’ve done nothing. And I’ve gone through waves of inspiration around this. They’ve typically been very reactive in response to something happening.
It’s now getting to the point where if something did happen, I would feel like such an idiot because I’ve spoken about this so many times. Kind of like relationship, right? Your wife’s giving you the firing, the warning shot. She’s telling you she’s unhappy, you ignore it. You ignore it. And then divorce papers come, you’re like, oh, shit I should have done something sooner.
I feel like that. Like the warning signs are coming. I’m not listening to them. So heed the advice and do something. And to your point, you’ll find your own balance and rhythm within that, of how far and deep to go within your preparation, both actual physical supplies and physical mental preparedness and such. But just heed the warnings. Because if something was to happen, I would feel immense frustration within myself and guilt towards my family that I’d not done something sooner when it had already come onto my radar.
Doug Holt 21:46
Good point. Well, gentlemen, as we always say, in the moment of insight, take massive action. Remember, we’re in your corner, and we’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man show.
All right, guys, that’s a wrap for this episode. But as I always say in the moment of insight, take massive action. You see, there are two types of men that listen to a podcast like this, those that go on from one podcast or show to another just hoping things are going to change and realizing that they’re going to be in the same place month after month, year after year.
You see, I was this guy so I completely get it. You may just not be ready. But there’s also a second man, a second man that listens to a show just like this. And this is a guy who takes massive action so they can shorten the learning curve, compress time, and get RESULTS to be the WOLF. See, WOLF is an acronym for Wise, Open, Loving, and Fierce.
Now ask yourself, which one am I? And just be honest with yourself there. And there’s no judgment on my end. But if you’re ready to move from deactivated DEER mode, which is Defend, Excuse, Explain, and React to activated WOLF, Wise, Open, Loving and Fierce, then go over to thepowerfulman.com/grow. And go there now. In fact, I’ll make it super easy for you. I will even put the link right in the description here so you can just click it and go over there now to learn more. Guys, in the moment of insight, take massive action. Go from deactivated to activated, because like I said, life is too short for average and I’ll see you on the next episode!
