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Episode #1080
Ever feel like you’ve checked all the boxes career, marriage, kids, success on paper but still wake up wondering, “Is this it?” In this episode, Doug sits down with master coach Neil to talk about why so many high-performing men hit a wall, and what to actually do when you feel stuck, numb, or just off track.
They dive into what it really means to look in the mirror and not recognize the man staring back. You’ll hear real talk about blind spots, why reading books and listening to podcasts won’t cut it, and how coaching can help you finally let go of what’s been holding you back. This isn’t about hype. It’s about truth, accountability, and learning how to lead your life, not just survive it.
They’ll cover what happens when you stop giving to get and finally drop the weight of expectations. You’ll hear why men keep falling into the same patterns, and how to finally break out of them. Neil shares what happens when men step away from daily distractions and into a space where they can actually reset. Doug explains why even the most successful men have coaches, and why trying to do it alone almost never works. If you’ve been feeling like something’s missing, this conversation is your sign to stop brushing it off.
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Transcription
Doug Holt 0:00
Almost every time it’s the relationships. So why wouldn’t you get a coach in that area? I’m alone, but I’m not lonely. I love being with myself. When you stare in the mirror, do you love the man that’s staring back at you? And I know for a lot of guys, they feel like they’re stuck.
Neil 0:16
I said I don’t know everything. That’s why I have a coach.
Doug Holt 0:18
Exactly. Make sure you’re consistently getting coaching so you’re up-leveling, because I can’t see my blind spots.
Neil 0:25
Well, anytime when somebody says, “This isn’t for me,” I say, “Well, what’s in your way?”
Doug Holt 0:40
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of The TPM Show, and today we have a very special guest one of our master coaches, Coach Neil. Neil, thanks for being here, man.
Neil 0:50
It’s a pleasure, Doug. I’m enjoying and looking forward to the conversation today.
Doug Holt 0:53
You’ve been at the TPM Ranch for, gosh, man it’s been a week and a half already. We’ve got twelve men flying in from around the world, coming here for an Alpha Reset. There’s four of us here already getting things prepped or five of us with Colton here and it’s gonna be an exciting time.
Neil 1:14
Excited and looking forward to it. I always look forward to this because I know what’s available on the other side. So yes, very excited about that.
Doug Holt 1:22
So, for the guys that don’t know, I always remind myself, Neil, that a lot of people might be catching us for the first time on this particular show. I always describe it, but you tell me what is the Alpha Reset, without giving anything away?
Neil 1:35
It’s a shift in your mentality and a shift in the way that you see yourself. That’s kind of the short and nuts-and-bolts of it. You can walk away in three days with a completely different mindset on how you see yourself.
And the magic that I see every time I do this when people walk in the room 72 hours before, and then seeing them 72 hours later you can’t describe it. It’s extraordinary. Truly extraordinary. The weight that’s lifted off these men’s shoulders.
Doug Holt 2:11
Yep. It’s why we have 106 acres at the ranch to put all that baggage somewhere, right?
Neil 2:17
Yes, we do. We certainly leave it behind. It’s a wonderful thing to leave behind the stories that don’t support them.
Doug Holt 2:24
Yes, they really do. The way I describe it, Neil, is that most men find themselves for possibly the first time ever.
Neil 2:31
The authentic self. And the joy and the love they have for themselves looking in the mirror is amazing.
Doug Holt 2:40
It reminds me there was a book, a bestseller, I think by a man named Manson The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck.* And I’ve talked to so many men throughout my coaching career, and women even, who say, “I just wish I didn’t care as much about what other people thought.” And it’s when you find yourself that’s when you don’t care anymore. It’s not that you don’t care. It’s that it doesn’t bother you.
Neil 3:11
People ask me that all the time. When I say, “I don’t care,” what I really mean is, “I love who I am. I love who I’m being in the world with everybody.” As you said, it’s the expression of not minding what people say about me, because I know that if I’m showing up loving, kind, generous, and supportive then what’s going on with them, in my coaching experience, is just a reflection of what they want. Their triggers are speaking for them. They’re projecting their own insecurities.
Doug Holt 3:45
100%. And when you get grounded and go through that experience the reason I bring this up, Neil, is because I get asked this question all the time by men and other people:
“Hey Doug, how can I really get to a position where it just doesn’t bother me anymore what my wife thinks, what my colleagues, other business people, people at the gym or the yacht club think of me?”
And my answer is this is gonna sound self-promoting, and it’s not, because it doesn’t change my life if you do this but it will change yours. And that’s the Alpha Reset.
Neil 4:21
Without a shadow of a doubt. Coming here and immersing yourself away from everybody and everything it’s an acceleration. It’s like going from Formula Three to Formula One racing. You literally collapse timelines. That’s what it does in three days. The trick is keeping that timeline staying on that path that you now feel. And we have great mechanisms for that.
And like I said, without sounding self-promoting, being a coach, having a coach, having a group of men you do this with that’s the path of support. You can’t do this alone.
Doug Holt 5:03
So why do you need a coach? That’s a question a lot of guys are going to think about, right? Like, “Why do I need a coach to do this when I could TPM? Let’s just say TPM has the answers, which I think they do or we do but they’ve already done a thousand podcasts. I could just listen to those.”
Neil 5:20
It’s still not giving you stuff in real time. I have it with guys all the time, and it’s like breathing you need oxygen to breathe. You have blind spots in whatever you’re looking at or understanding.
To me, it’s like listening to an audiobook or reading a book you can intellectualize it all day long, but if you’re not embodying it, how are you getting the support and accountability to continue that work?
So yes, you’re going to have a great understanding absolutely with all our podcasts and all the books we recommend, including your wonderful book. But having the accountability to create that and saying, “Okay, what are you going to create? Who are you going to be? And what are you going to do about it? What’s your vision?”
Along the way, we see those blind spots and the behaviors that work and don’t work. I had a guy yesterday I called out it was like he was thinking outside of himself, pointing the finger, and I read him the riot act. He was like, “Oh…” You know, in a loving way of course we talk about loving and direct, but tough love. That’s it somebody in your corner.
Think about when you had your mom and dad, or a coach at school, or a teacher, or a mentor. Who do you remember that looked at you and gave you that direction that you couldn’t see? Having somebody in your corner matters.
And we’ve spoken about this before in every podcast 87% of people who are held accountable reach their goals. Yes. And what are goals? Goals to love myself, to be in relationship with somebody, to have the business of my dreams things like that. So that’s why I think you need a coach.
Doug Holt 7:00
You know something that’s always been interesting to me if I think of our most “successful” clients, and what I mean by that is multifaceted success: money, business, relationships these are guys achieving their goals. And, chicken or the egg, right? All of these guys the people that I know out in the world through business and I’ve been running my own company since my early twenties they all have coaches.
And I can see somebody listening to this saying, “Well, I can’t afford coaching.” I’m like, “Well, these guys couldn’t afford it at one point either. But they realized they couldn’t afford not to have a coach.” Some of them have multiple coaches in different areas of expertise. A personal trainer could be a coach absolutely.
And what I always recommend to guys is sit down and have this conversation. If I was having it with you, Neil, for example when you’re 80 years old, sitting on your porch reflecting on life, what are the categories of life that are most important to you? Is it your business, when you’re reflecting, “Ah, I’m so glad I built that big company”? Maybe.
Is it your kids? Most likely. Is it your intimate relationship? Most likely. Is it the adventures you took? There’s all kinds of things that come to mind, and I’ve had this conversation a thousand times. Almost every time it’s the relationships. The intimate relationship. So why wouldn’t you get a coach in that area?
And some of that is the relationship with yourself. Like you said earlier you don’t care, meaning you’re so good with who Neil is because you’ve done the deep work on Neil, and you’re probably continuously doing it, like myself, that you feel comfortable with Neil. So you feel comfortable on that rocking chair with the man sitting there the decisions you’ve made.
And I always find it interesting when I talk to some guys maybe they go through TPM and then move on and that’s fine. But make sure you’re consistently getting coaching so you’re up-leveling, because I can’t see my blind spots.
I make up my own excuses for whatever it may be, and justify them with my reasonings. But when I have a coach and I invest a lot of money in coaching they give me the real deal. Lovingly, most of the time sometimes not but it’s still the honest truth. I’m investing in someone to say, “Hey, tell me the truth. Tell me what I’m not seeing.” So I can be that man sitting on that rocking chair, hopefully surrounded by grandchildren, children, and people I love smiling, looking back at my life as something I lived well.
Neil 9:44
I agree. In a relationship, for me, you’re not looking back saying, “Oh, I’m so happy I bought that Ferrari,” or “I made those ten million dollars.” If you’re sitting alone at home dying at your desk, as I call it what you remember, what brings emotion, is love. Love for the life you’ve created with family, like you said sitting in that rocking chair.
And I think we, as a nation and as a world, we’ve come so far and I love the American way, because it’s so possible to do anything you want, 100% possible, 100% of the time. But there’s some fallout from that which is, “I don’t see my family like I should.” We’ve been taught, as men, to put food on the table and a roof over our heads and we forgot about the family. We forgot about ourselves. I was just talking to a guy this morning. He’s got five kids. The lady I’ve been coaching she’s dating him and he’s been miserable for ten years. I said, “When was the last time he did something for himself?” She said, “He doesn’t remember.”
And so you can lose yourself. When we do this work and we come here and find ourselves, like you said earlier it’s like suddenly, “I feel like an 18-year-old kid again. I’m on this new adventure. I found me.” The journey of life is wonderful. I want to be 80 not worrying about who I upset, because that’s not up to me. That’s up to them.
So when I sit there on that porch with my son’s children at 150 years old, because I plan to be here for a while I’ll love it as my son loves me to be. He actually said to me the other day, he was upset that I wasn’t home. That, to me, was great feedback that he loves me and wants me around.
I said, “I’ll be there soon. I’ll be home in three or four days, and we’ll have some magical times together.” But I’m doing this for me to be a greater version of me. Not only to support men, but to support myself. And there was something else you said earlier gosh, what was it? It’ll come back to me.
Doug Holt 12:18
It always does, right? You’re on a good roll you had the same thing the other day. Absolutely. We think about this idea of reflection. One of the things I’ll talk to guys about is when you stare in the mirror, do you love the man that’s staring back at you?
And I know for a lot of guys, they feel like they’re stuck. They feel like the tires are spinning. “I’m gonna work harder, I’m gonna push harder,” but they don’t feel like they’re getting anywhere. Maybe the bank account fluctuates a little, but almost never drastically. Maybe the relationship’s good for a while, but then it dips again.
It’s like they’re waiting for this ascension, right? “How do I ascend to that higher level?” A common thing I’ll hear from guys is, “Hey, I did all the right things. I checked the boxes. I got the good career. Maybe I started a business. I’ve got two kids. I was the baseball coach, the basketball coach. I took my wife on vacations. I bought the lake house.”
Whatever it is they’ve checked the boxes and then they wake up one day not wanting to get out of bed, saying, “I’m not happy. I’m not fulfilled.” And that’s why we have The Ascension Blueprint, right? That’s most men. We don’t talk about that program much here we mostly talk about relationships but The Ascension Blueprint (we call it TAB for short, because we’re simple men) is a program we’ve been offering for over eight years.
It’s for men who feel stuck maybe the marriage is good or okay, but there’s something missing inside of them. The Ascension Blueprint is an eight-week proven process that helps men rediscover purpose and fulfillment. In fact, a lot of our coaches started there going through that exact program before they ended up here helping other men.
Neil 14:07
I think it’s a gift to yourself, isn’t it? If I’m not the best version of me like you said when I look in the mirror, I can still say, “I love who I am.” If you think about that feeling whole and complete then when you show up like that, people reflect it back. The people I speak to tell me how they feel about me, and I realize it’s just a reiteration of what I already know.
Being in relationship with somebody it’s not about needing it. I don’t need to be in relationship with a woman, but I desire it. It’s not about loneliness. I’m alone, but I’m not lonely. I love being with myself. And being out here on this ranch alone it’s magical.
Do I miss my son when I’m not here? Absolutely. But that says everything about who I am because I’m a giver. I love to give. But it’s also about having that journey of a lifetime being able to say, “I freaking love me when I look in the mirror.” And this past week, to see these men look in the mirror and transform
Doug Holt 15:11
I want to buy you a gift. Look if your marriage is struggling, and let’s be real every marriage struggles at some point but if yours is at a place where you’ve lost that love, admiration, or respect, I want to help you. I want to buy you a copy of the book I wrote A Man’s Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It.
In this book, I’ve distilled over eight years of the exact programs we’ve developed at TPM to help men just like you save their marriages without endless talking. There’s no fluff, no BS just an action plan you can start using today to bring love and respect back into your family and your home. You deserve it.
All I ask is that you pay the postage and shipping. I’ll buy the book for you. That way, you can take massive action today. Click the link or find it in the bio and get your copy now.
Neil 16:04
And to see those men transform to see them look in the mirror and say, “Wow, I love me right now” it’s priceless. If you could bottle that energy and sell it, it would be worth millions. So, for anyone watching this pick up the phone. Yes, you’ve listened to the podcasts I love that you do that but the very reason you’re saying no to something is the very reason you need support.
Anytime somebody says, “This isn’t for me,” I say, “Well, what’s in your way?” Because that is exactly the reason you need coaching. Whether it’s with me or somebody else we just want you to become the best version of you. That’s what we do.
Doug Holt 16:54
I say this often on the podcast, and if people haven’t heard it before you don’t have to go through TPM. I’m biased I think it’s the best program for what we do. Otherwise, we’d change it. You know me I’m competitive, and I like things to be excellent. I don’t have to do this I choose to do this. And you’re the same, right? We choose to help people.
But do something. If what we’re talking about resonates with you, take action. Speaking of that, we actually have another cohort of The Ascension Blueprint starting soon. There are only ten spots available, and it kicks off the last week of January. So guys, if you’re listening to this it may be booked, it may not but as of now, there’s only one group scheduled for 2026, and that’s because of coaching availability.
It’s not that we don’t have men who want to coach it’s that we don’t have enough men at the expert level, like Neil here, to lead this work. So if you’re feeling stuck if you know there’s something more for you this program was designed for that. And it includes The Alpha Reset within it.
Neil 18:11
And we had some guys last week they absolutely rocked the house. It was magical. A good coach can hear what you’re actually saying. It’s your talk track the words you use every day. It might sound positive, but the English language is interesting. The way we use it shapes how we think we’re doing. The words we choose make the difference. Like saying, “I’m not going to do that anymore,” versus “I’m doing this.”
That shift in language one focuses on what you don’t want, and the other focuses on what you do want. As a coach, I listen for those phrases and patterns. I hear what’s underneath them. How you receive something, how confident you are about it all of that is revealed through your words. That’s another reason to have a coach to help you hear what you’re really saying underneath it all.
And for any guy who’s played sports did you have a coach? And how did that coach support you? Just ask yourself that.
Doug Holt 19:20
There's evidence, right? The most successful people in any area, Kobe Bryant had a coach for basketball, like Michael Jordan had a coach, baseball, basketball, everything they did, strength coaches. What have you. Something you said made me think, I was right before we got here, before I got to the ranch, I was on a call with someone, and in that call, I stopped him in the middle of the conversation, said, "Hey, look, one of the things that you had shared with me a while back is you wanted to come across more professional." And this person was extremely professional, in my mind, because I knew them, highly intelligent, highly capable, but in their vernacular, in their talk, like they would use "ums" and "likes" and little things that they didn't even realize.
And I said, "Hey, look, we go back, you've used the word 'like' five times in one sentence." And what that does, in a professional speaking manner, could or could do, is put doubt in people's minds, and that's not fair. The reason I bring that up is because a good coach, in my opinion, Neil, they're going to take your holistic goals into consideration, not just like, "Hey, Neil, here's the problem at my feet right now," because a lot of times the problem at your feet, it's real, but the causation could be something completely different.
Neil 20:40
Cause and effect, like that. Cause, instead of cause and effect, cause, cause, how? Who do I become that everybody else becomes? That's a, that's a big... there's a lot of words that people use, or that like, like or right is another one, or just, I'm just doing this really, I'm just me.
Doug Holt 20:59
Can you try to explain that?
Neil 21:04
So, you know, there was, I was in a training, and the coach was saying, you know, I hear this word, right? What are you saying? Was like, when I see this, I'm going to do that, right? And it's like, what are you looking for in that word? Or the word just is this, I'm just me, and it's almost, it's a place of you're putting yourself in a lower category. The only word, the only time I use just, is just money. Languaging is huge.
Doug Holt 21:33
It is huge. And we all, a lot of us myself, get caught in the common vernacular, right? That's out there. Say she's right. And I'll use, when I used to study sales, getting saying right at the end gets people into an agreement mode, right? Nodding. The nodding, what have you. It's using a coach to further coach you into that vernacular. The words we say, I believe, access our subconscious. Yes, right, yes. There we go again. I'm stuck with something right now. We got it. They give us access, reverse that, and to get access to your subconscious, you can use your words, and to your point, you know, the human brain can't process negative words. So if you say, I'm not going to smoke, all your brain hears is, I'm going to smoke. And it starts setting its desires and its thoughts.
Next thing you know, you're randomly picking up that cigarette or what have you, and wondering, ah, just self-discipline. Well, maybe. And it could also be that you've consciously or unconsciously been programming your mind, and a coach can help you with that, because we're trained to listen. I tell people that all the time. Why, why am I a good coach? Because I mirror, I listen and reflect back to you what you're saying and what's happening. You are the coach, not me. I'm just the conduit of your own knowledge and understanding that's deep inside of you that, for whatever reason, you can't pick up at in this particular moment.
Neil 23:10
As you said, I think you said earlier, it's like the subconscious words are coming out of your mouth. And I said, this is what I'm hearing you say. And they're like, I said that? Oh, wow, yeah. And so we got to practice, like, I know you, like you said, would not, can't be, you know, computed in the brain. When you've got a little child saying, don't touch the stove, they're hearing, oh, I gotta touch the stove. Okay, yeah. And it's not until they touch the stove that they know not to touch the stove. Yeah. So it is an interesting, beautiful English language. It's wonderful and amazing, but it also can be very debilitating. Yeah, so which brings me to, how we, how do we let go? Right?
How do we let go of that? How do we, obviously, with practice, with principles in place, coaching, I believe coaching is a lifestyle. Having somebody there to support is a lifestyle. I've got clients I've had for six, seven years, and it's a lifestyle for them. They don't think anything differently than, "I'm having a call with my coach this week," yeah, because they have to unload. They have this, what happened to them this week, and they just, you know, keeping them in their lane and in the way that they feel about themselves, and letting go of what's not working. And so, you know, one of the things we do at TPM, isn't it, is teaching the men to let go, and especially of expectations that we, as a society, have a light-switch automatic response to have happen right away. Okay, okay, I've done this. Why, why isn't this working? And I said, well, how many years have you been doing it this way and expect it to be correct with a, let's just flip there.
And I was like, I'm 20, as Jim Carrey is a fine example, 20 years to an overnight success. Yeah, and I'm not saying it takes 20 years to get back into your relationship with your wife, however, give yourself a chance to know that, yes, you may intellectualize something and get it, but let's embody it. And so, letting go and having those expectations, especially around, you know, we spoke about before the show, was that intimacy, yep, and what's the difference between intimacy and sex? To me, is a huge topic.
Doug Holt 25:35
It is huge, and you're 100% right. I use this story often. I was talking to a gentleman that I've been working with, and he came to me and said, "Doug, I've been doing everything right for two, for two and a half weeks." And you know, his end result is, "She's... I'm still not getting laid," right? So I'm talking to this guy, and he blew up at two and a half weeks. He went right back into his old self and blew up. "Why don't you do this? Why don't you love me so much more?" And, you know, started belittling her, right?
So I said, "Hey, man, you know, you told me when we started working together, by your own volition, the reason that you came is you were an asshole. How long were you an asshole for?" Those were your words, not mine. He goes, "Oh, 10 plus years." Okay, so your wife has this evidence of you being an asshole, again, your words, not mine, and you're saying like an extreme at times. For 10 years, you go to being a good guy, doing the things I'm telling you to do, and you can only go two and a half weeks, and you're expecting her to respond?
I go, "Did she change her response?" "Well, yeah, she was different. She started really opening up to me." I'm like, "Yeah, you have 10 years. Give her time." If I was your friend, I wouldn't trust you. I would trust you to be the guy that, two and a half weeks in, explodes. I'd be waiting for the other shoe to drop because you have 10 years of evidence. I have 10 years of evidence that you're this guy, and I could be super excited for those two and a half weeks to see you be the man I know you could be, just as your wife probably was, but I would be timid expecting it to change.
And so that's what's really interesting, you know, with coaching. This gentleman has saved his marriage and everything. He's been with us for four years. Another guy I've talked to, Neil, that you stimulated this thought, is, you know, our coaching programs, like the Inner Circle, one-on-one coaching they're one-year programs. And, you know, you have the option of renewing at the end of that year.
And this guy has been in the program, I think, six years. When his year came up, he said, "Don't even ask me. I'm in this." This guy's extremely successful at this point in his business, personal life, and relationships. He said, "I'm always going to get coaching. 100%. I'm 100% sure of it. Why would I go anywhere else? You guys know me. You know about my relationships, you know about my business. I can turn to you guys. You're trusted advisors. Just don't ask next year. Just let it roll."
And it's that mindset for this guy that I've seen him grow leaps and bounds because he's coachable. And that's something I think a lot of people don't understand. You need coaching, but you also need to be coachable. A good coach will hopefully allow you that space or tell you, "Hey, you’ve got to leave." Because if you're not coachable and what does that mean? "I know everything, you're wrong, I'm right," that defensive attitude...
At TPM, we call it DEER mode Defend, Excuse, Explain, React.
And a lot of men and women go into that DEERmode, but I think men more so, when they're coaching, because they feel it could be a perceived weakness. They don’t know this, but they're just insecure. Therefore, they can't be coachable. They won't do what the coach recommends because they think they know better.
Neil 28:56
And what's interesting about that is, in that very moment that they're not coachable, is the most coachable moment. It's like, okay, let's look at that. Every time they push back, it's like, okay, let's look at that. What is stopping you from doing that? What is it you want to... you think you know everything?
I said, I don't know everything. That's why I have a coach, exactly. I need to have my blind spots taken care of, and that's why I surround myself with great men like you, Doug, and Colton over there. It's really interesting. Don't ask me this isn't optional. It's a given. It's like breathing, as I said earlier.
What's interesting as well is, when it comes to the wife, or those two and a half weeks in, I'm like, if that thing there, gentlemen and ladies, is a transaction if you're thinking about not getting something, you're giving to get then that exchange is off. I had a guy that was like, putting it in his calendar. And I said, "How do you think that comes across if you're putting it in your calendar?"
I get it you want to show your love. That’s how we do this. However, when you look at it like that, you’re in it with an expectation. And then when it doesn’t happen, it fails. Then you feel sorry for yourself, and you start creating all these stories “Why doesn’t she love me?”
And I said, "That’s not about her." The expectation letting go of those expectations and transactional relationships is why women turn the other direction until they feel that they are seen and heard. When we say “let go of expectations,” what does that really mean?
It means when I stop giving a crap about it when I’m not here to get something, giving to get and I’m just here to be.
Just be with you. Women feel that. “Oh my God, I want this guy now,” because he’s not asking or expecting anything.
Doug Holt 31:01
And not being needy. Not being needy absolutely. It’s the opposite. Sometimes it surprises some of the men that you have a coach, I have a coach, Tim, Arthur, Mark you know, our coaches have coaches, right? They’re constantly going through programs, getting better, sharpening the saw. To me, it’s a no-brainer. It’s how I’ve gotten to where I am manifesting dreams.
We’ve talked about manifesting it’s an interesting word for some people and setting goals and achieving them. How do some people consistently set goals and achieve them time and time again, while others feel stuck? Do you know why? They get a coach.
They get somebody. And they might not call themselves a coach. They might show up as a mentor, they might show up some other way. But with a coaching arrangement, there’s an agreement that we’re working together to achieve an outcome and you’re more likely to get that than with a buddy.
Neil 32:04
You know, what's interesting about that conversation is, like in the Reset, it's an example of 12 men coming together and speaking and talking about their issues and realizing they're not alone. And suddenly they're like, "Oh, I've been quote, unquote lone-wolfing." What's funny is "lone wolf" is such an interesting term because, you know, wolves are in packs. Most wolves are in packs, yep.
And when they all come to this process, or they do TAM or the Brotherhood, you know, the TAB, it's like, "Wow, I feel seen. I feel real. I'm not alone." And suddenly it expands their whole life their expansion of being seen and acknowledged for saying something they haven’t said out loud.
As I said earlier, collapsing timelines from where they were to where they are now after a Reset and letting go of the baggage they carried in front of 12 other men who also had the same thing to say, "Oh, I now have this support system."
But they're not the experts. They are the rising tide that lifts all boats. However, they're not the experts, so I still need to have that guidance from somebody that does know to hold you to that line.
It’s like soccer or football: the guys are on the field, they all see each other playing, and they can support each other there. But then there’s the coach who actually sees the whole field. He sees everything and says, “Guys, you’re right about that, but what about this? I see you doing this.”
That’s why we have playbooks. Yes, we have a playbook. And that playbook is what the guys come to us for. They can’t believe how simple it is but how extraordinarily powerful it is to their life when they come through The Activation Method and The Alpha Reset.
So guys, pick up the phone. Life is now. If you’re thinking about doing this, do it whether it’s with us or not. You’ll get something from it. Even with one phone call, we will change your life.
Doug Holt 34:26
Yes, I agree. For some reason on this show, I try not to talk about the programs as much, right? Because I want guys to get the information without thinking we’re always trying to sell them something. But you’re 100% right. It’s almost like I’m doing them a disservice by not being fully honest and saying, “Here’s the deal. I realize you’re stuck. I realize you feel alone. I know there’s more for you.”
If you really want a shot at it our success rate at The Alpha Reset is 100%. 101, actually. And we have the anonymous feedback forms to prove it. Over the course of eight years of doing this, it just friggin works. You’ve got to do the work, but you’ll be supported the whole way. And the men that you’re with right? That would have been my question: Who are these guys that come to this?
They’re more like you than you know. We’re more alike than we are different. People focus on the differences, but you’ll be able to come here and go through a guide as you said, a playbook a guided process that we know inside and out. You and I have been preparing for this the last few days alone, putting a lot of work into making sure that it stays at 100% each and every time. And I’m excited to share this space with you, Neil, and do this again and take these 12 men home.
Neil 35:45
What a Christmas present they’re giving themselves. They really don’t know how much they’re going to open up that present this week and go, “Wow, Christmas has come early for me, my wife, and my kids.” That’s what I say all the time. That’s the reason I do this work, Doug. We’re changing lives. We’re changing children’s futures because of the way we, as men, show up.
If you’re watching this that’s what happens. That’s why I do this work. I care deeply for you. I care deeply for my son. And that’s why I want to be the greatest version of me. Don’t hesitate. We love you. We love every man who gets to be loved and love himself. And this is the way forward.
Whatever you’re thinking about whatever’s holding you back is the very reason you get to pick up and just talk to somebody. If it’s not us, it’s somebody else a friend, a mentor. Just let them know how you’re feeling. It could change your life.
Doug Holt 36:44
I love it, man. I love you. Thank you for doing the work that you do. It’s beautiful. Gentlemen, I often say, “In the moment of insight, take massive action.” And Neil’s telling you to do just that. Get on the phone, fill out a form. We do have an application, right? We want to keep this group, this cohort, tight for the Ascension Blueprint. It’s the one that helps men get unstuck and gain clarity.
We only have 10 spots 10 spots for January. We may open up more groups later, but as of today, only 10 men in 2026 will have an opportunity to go through that program. We also have The Activation Method and several other programs you might be interested in. Get on a call with an advisor it’s just a phone call.
I do ask, though, if you book a call, show up. Because, like this Alpha Reset, I want to apologize to several men who said, “Hey, I want to come to The Alpha Reset before Christmas so I can show up as that man for my family during the holidays, create those memories.” And we said, “No, it’s full.” We keep things at a certain number 12 is the maximum for The Alpha Reset for a reason. We can guarantee the result.
For business owners, you get it that’s not scalable. We could fill a stadium and make it scalable, but we couldn’t get the result. And that’s why we’re here. And for some reason, if TPM isn’t for you maybe it’s my voice, maybe it’s something else we have a lot of great coaches. But if not us, go somewhere else. You deserve more than average.
If you feel like your life is average, take that opportunity now to change that. Life is short. It’s passing you by one day and one moment at a time. Do that now. Do that today. Get on a call and change your life and the lives of the people around you. They are waiting for you to show up. They are begging you to show up. You’re the leader. You’re the man. Make that happen.
We’ll see you next time on The TPM Show.
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