Episode #961
Ever feel like you’re tiptoeing around in your own house?
You’re doing everything you can to keep things calm—avoiding conflict, keeping quiet, trying not to rock the boat. But deep down, it’s eating at you. And here’s the tough part: that silence? It might be making things worse.
In this episode, I’m talking with Coach Chris Hansen from our Navigate program about something a lot of guys wrestle with—setting and holding boundaries in their relationships. We get into why it’s so damn hard, and how avoiding it usually just leads to more resentment, distance, and disconnect at home.
This isn’t some high-level theory talk. We get into real stuff—actual examples of what setting a boundary really looks like, and how to do it without blowing everything up.
We talk about why your wife might not be taking your boundaries seriously—and how to shift that. We also get into the difference between a boundary, a want, and an agreement. (Hint: mixing those up? It causes way more problems than you think.)
One of the biggest takeaways? Most guys are accidentally teaching their wives to ignore them—and it’s not because they’re weak or passive. It’s just a pattern they’ve never noticed. But one honest convo (the kind we usually avoid) can change a lot.
We wrap it up by looking at what actually creates respect and connection—and no, it’s not raising your voice. Vulnerability, done right, changes everything. When you start showing up differently, the whole dynamic starts to shift.
So if you’re sick of feeling like your needs don’t matter, or like you’re always coming in last—this one’s worth a listen. You’ll walk away with some clear tools to start leading your relationship with more clarity, confidence, and calm.
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Transcription
Doug Holt 0:00
And so I’m not saying you did something wrong. I’m just saying that this situation that occurred—that I happened to be around—this is what happened for me. I’m sharing my experience. The other really cool thing about this that we don’t talk about very much: nobody can deny your experience. No one can say you’re wrong. That’s why—it’s like feelings. It’s your feelings. “Chris, you’re not happy.” “No, that’s a fake lot.” You’re sad? Nobody—like, dude, nobody can deny your feelings or argue them, or your experiences of life.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of The TPM Show. We have a very special guest for you today. We have Coach Chris with us. Coach Chris runs our Navigate program—our program for non-business owners who are looking to save their marriage without talking about it. It’s one of our flagship programs that we’ve rolled out. It’s been very, very successful, and so Chris is in the trenches with men every single day. When I say every day, I do mean every single day. And we have some really great topics to go over with you guys today. Chris, thanks for being here.
Christopher Hansen 1:15
I love coming to see you guys, and it’s always great to be at the ranch.
Doug Holt 1:19
It is. You always bring a smile to my face when I walk through, even after a tough conversation. Well, you were saying before we hit record that during some of the calls with the guys, you noticed a couple patterns coming up.
Christopher Hansen 1:32
Yeah, for sure. You know, a lot of these guys have been in relationships a really, really long time, and because of that, there’s a lot of friction. There are a lot of things they’re dealing with—trying to organize and kind of get back on track. One of the things I’m noticing is that it’s really hard for these guys to put up new boundaries for themselves and to really show up for themselves. You can actually hear the fear in their voices when they’re thinking about what it would look like to sit their wives down and talk about what’s not working for them.
Doug Holt 2:03
So boundaries are a really tough thing, right? First of all, a lot of guys make boundaries malleable, and that’s the toughest thing. It reminds me of raising kids. You and I both have young kids. My son’s name is Bodhi—he’ll be eight in April. If I go to Bodhi and say, “Hey man, you can’t play in the street,” and then I see him going into the street and I say, “Okay, well, this time it’s okay, but next time you can’t,” or something like that—he’s confused. His little mind is just confused—“Am I allowed to or not?” Or he makes up the story that if he just pushes Dad’s boundaries, Dad will let him do what he wants.
I see a lot of guys do this with their wives. I don’t know if you see this as well, but a lot of guys say, “Hey, you can’t talk to me this way.” And then their wife proceeds to do so, and they just shut up and go inward like a clamshell to protect themselves. I see it with guys whose wives are having emotional affairs, physical affairs, spending money—that’s another big one—or just not listening to them or having their needs met.
Christopher Hansen 3:15
I think that’s the biggest part. A lot of times they’re suppressing their needs. I think as young men, culturally, we’re designed—or taught—to show up for everybody else: our wives, our children, our work. We’re always on the back burner, so our needs generally aren’t put out there. And if you haven’t had those boundaries long enough, you’ve just built this system where your needs aren’t important. Emotionally, you’re just never going to get those fulfilled. Then to come back after years and years of that same process and try to put that in—there’s going to be friction. There’s going to be pushback.
Doug Holt 3:53
So let’s talk about what a boundary is first, and then we can talk about how men can set boundaries and have those conversations—and why they might fear having them. To me, Chris, a boundary is something that is immovable—unless there’s an odd circumstance, a one-in-a-million type thing. I’ll use my son going into the street again as an example. He can’t go into the street—but maybe his sister falls in the street and a car’s coming, and he goes to grab her. Those kinds of things could be exceptions to the rule. But a boundary is something firm that you hold on to. It’s not malleable. That’s the definition I would use. Does that match with yours?
Christopher Hansen 4:41
Absolutely. Like the idea that you’re not going to have an affair, you’re not going to have another sexual partner—very strong boundary. But it can also be as simple as—and mine was—oh, we’re never going to tell each other to shut up. That’s disrespectful. That was just not—that’s a boundary we’re never going to cross. So it can be very big, but it can also be a smaller one.
Doug Holt 4:59
Yeah, my wife and I have something similar. We don’t talk negatively about each other in front of other people. You know, we always choose the bright. We have a lot of kind of boundaries. Now, I don’t want to confuse boundaries with agreements, because I think that “we don’t talk negatively in front of other people” is more of an agreement than a boundary.
But a boundary for me would be if my wife had an affair—that’s a boundary. You cross that line, sorry—game over, there’s severe consequences coming through. But having said that, if my wife talked disrespectfully about me in front of other people, there would be severe consequences with that as well.
Christopher Hansen 5:34
Yeah, I think agreements are something that can change because there are variables that can happen with that. And so to have a very clear idea of what is an agreement and what’s a boundary—those are conversations that aren’t happening in relationships. So how are we supposed to know that? If we’re not communicating those properly, those are going to get confused and intertwined.
Doug Holt 5:54
Yeah, and something my wife and I talk about—if something wants to change—we say, “Hey, we agreed to do this.” Now, agreements change. And so if we want to have a new agreement, we can have a discussion about it. But it doesn’t mean just because you want to do it, that it’s the new agreement.
Agreements and boundaries are similar, but with agreements, two parties agree. I say, “Chris, this is what I want. Do you agree?” Yes or no. If you say yes, cool—we have an agreement. We shake hands, just like a business transaction. If you say no, now we have further dialogue.
But a boundary is completely different, right? And I think the reason men have such a hard time with this is: one, they’ve never set boundaries before, so it’s a new thing. Two is, a lot of us guys put our value—our self-worth—in the reflection we get back from our woman. “What my woman thinks about me is who I am.” So if I try to set a boundary, what is she going to think about that boundary—especially if the boundary is communicating needs?
Christopher Hansen 7:00
Yeah. It’s an external validation there. It’s the Mr. Nice Guy syndrome, really. We fall into that. We make it easy—we’re not engaging in those agreements. We just agree to whatever goes, right? And that’s how it works out at first.
Doug Holt 7:15
In the long run, it doesn’t. So let me use an easy boundary that we could set in place to help the guys. Because, you know, there’s cheating—obviously—but one that seems to come up and get swept under the rug a lot is money—spending money.
So maybe there’s a boundary you’ve created like, “Look, I will not go into the situation we were in before—living paycheck to paycheck—because it just stressed me out all the time. So I will not do this. You cannot spend $10,000 on our credit cards or max them out.”
She agrees—this is a firm boundary—because this is causing trepidation within the man. It’s really driving him nuts. Let’s say that’s the thing.
Then the wife goes out and spends the money. She buys the salon, new dresses, new shoes—you get the idea. Now, if he doesn’t do something—
I had a client recently who took credit cards away from his wife. Just cut her off. Like, “Okay, you passed the boundary. You’re not being responsible with this,” and just cut her off—gave her an allowance.
Whereas most men would say, “Babe, we talked about this. You said you weren’t going to spend money. Yes, the dress looks nice on you. Okay, let’s go out to dinner.”
Right? Something like that scenario. Now she is not going to respect him. She’s not going to trust his word because he didn’t uphold his boundary.
Why should she? That man has gone down a few levels in her sexual market value—the way she perceives him—because she knows she can break him down.
Christopher Hansen 8:56
Yeah, and the guys don’t recognize that. Every time they don’t hold that boundary, they lose a little bit more respect.
Doug Holt 9:03
Respect from her, but also respect for themselves, you know, because they feel a little weaker. And, you know, “I gave in again.” And she knows—kind of like, and I’m not just saying women are like children—but I’m using this as an analogy for guys. She knows, just like my son—he begs for an extra cookie. If I give in to him, what the heck is he gonna do next time he wants a cookie? He’s gonna beg Dad and wear Dad down until he gets it.
Christopher Hansen 9:28
Yeah, I think a lot of times the guys will come to me, and they’ll be complaining about how they’re being treated. And I have to step them back and be like, “You’ve allowed this to happen. You’ve allowed this treatment to happen to you. And now you want to do something about it, and now it’s really hard.” And that’s the other part—a lot of them are afraid of that confrontation, to step into that space, because they’ve avoided it for so long.
Doug Holt 9:52
Yeah, they have. And, you know, it goes with that old idea that we train people how to treat us. Right? And so if you’re being treated poorly, you’ve trained that person to treat you poorly. There are certain people—guys listening to this will know—there are certain people you just don’t disrespect, right? Friends, colleagues, other business owners—whatever—you meet the person, and you know right away, “My old jokes aren’t gonna go well here.” And it’s the energy and aura they give off, if you will.
Whereas other people who are malleable or don’t think as well about themselves—they can be trampled on. And guys start to become doormats for their wives. And there’s nothing unsexier than, you know, a doormat of a man.
Christopher Hansen 10:37
Yeah, what’s interesting is, in the program, as I’m seeing these guys progress and they’re doing the work—they’re showing up for themselves—they’re filling their cup. All of a sudden, this self-love starts building in them, and all these “aha’s” are coming on. And that’s where this comes in—where like, “I don’t want to be treated like this anymore. How am I going to handle this? Because I do value me now.”
Doug Holt 10:58
Yeah, 100%. I’m agreeing with you. So what’s the solution, right? To me, the solution is first loving yourself. The second step is getting real with what your real boundaries are. Are you willing to die on the hill for this one, right? Are you willing for your wife to be pissed off if you call her on violating a boundary? Are you willing to allow her to not talk to you for a week, a month—whatever the time period is—because that boundary is so strong? Or is it a want, not a boundary? Because they’re different.
Christopher Hansen 11:32
Yeah. And I think we don’t spend enough time as men to understand our boundaries. We need time. Like, there’s a situation—I moved out of the house. I took that time and I wrote down, “What are my boundaries?” And sometimes I had to cross them back out and go back and understand which ones were boundaries, which ones were agreements, and which ones would I go to war for.
Doug Holt 11:54
Yeah, and why do you have them? Why are they boundaries for you? Why is it super important? And then once you have those written out—like, “Here are my boundaries”—for most people, it’s going to be a few, right? It’s not going to be a list of 60 things. Most of them, it’s going to be a few things that you’re like, “I’m willing to go to war—die on the hill—for this thing, because it’s that important to me.”
When you have those, then the important thing for a guy to do is get into his grounded masculinity. And what I mean by that is that grounded, confident, loving state—kind of like, again I’m going to use the child as a reference—but kind of like with my little daughter. If I’m going to talk to her and it’s very important, I’m not going to yell at her or come into the meeting mad and angry. I’m going to come in there with calm energy—dad energy, if you will. But firm. Very firm and loving.
And I think it’s really important for men to do that. Use breath work if you need to. Meditation, exercise beforehand—whatever you need to do to make sure this happens. And certainly be doing your Alpha Rise and Shine, right? That’s critical.
Christopher Hansen 12:59
Yeah, you gotta make sure your cup’s full. You’ve got to feel confident walking into that. But you also have to come from a loving place and some empathy—to understand and be able to connect. Because if you’re coming with force, the walls are going up and nothing’s getting through. So coming to that with love and sincerity is so important.
Doug Holt 13:20
It is. You’re going to be met with the same energy you come in with, right? So if you come with force, you’re going to be met with force. We’re always mirroring, right? We are always mirroring, man.
And so in that, this is where you get to sit down with your partner and say—I would start it off with something like, “Babe, I love you, and there are some things I need to share with you. I need to talk to you about.”
And set the tone right. Maybe assure her, “Don’t worry, I’m not leaving. I haven’t done anything that you need to know about, but there are some things coming up for me that I’d really like to talk to you about. Do you have an hour?”
So you want to make sure it’s the right time, right? I’ve also seen a lot of guys try to do this when their wife’s rushing around—kids, soccer or basketball practice, or she’s got her own work, her own responsibilities.
I mean, shoot—she’s got her whole day planned in her head just like we do. She wasn’t anticipating this conversation.
So set the tone. And if she says she doesn’t have time, no problem—“When can we sit down and talk?” Right? Close that loop.
Christopher Hansen 14:20
Yeah, I love that. And it’s crazy—the guys—I had a conversation this morning, and I had to bring to his attention that there’s a conversation that needs to happen, and he just wasn’t quite ready.
Doug Holt 14:32
Hey guys, I just want to share something with you. I’m sure we can both agree that in order to fix something, you need to know what’s broken. And not only know what’s broken, but also have a step-by-step methodology on how you can fix it. That’s the easiest way to do it, right? Otherwise, you’re going to be toiling with things.
That’s why I created a free training—a training that not only shows you how you got to where you are, where your relationship is missing that love, respect, admiration, and even intimacy that it used to have—but also how you get it back.
How do you retain that, where your wife’s looking at you the same way she used to when she said “I do”?
I don’t know about you, but for me, when my wife looks at me like I’m her man, I feel like I can conquer the world. And I want that for you.
Simply go over to thepowerfulman.com/scales—that’s thepowerfulman.com/scales—and I have a free video training for you. You can just click play and see if this resonates for you.
Now, back to the podcast.
Christopher Hansen 15:35
Yeah, that’s the steps. He’s going to write down his boundaries, understand them, build that confidence, and come ready at the appropriate time to deliver that message to her.
Doug Holt 15:43
Good for you, man. I remember at The Alpha Reset—I’ve told this story before—a guy came in and was complaining about a conversation he had to have with a business partner. This was right when the men arrived—we call it Day Zero, as you know. And I go, “Go outside and have the conversation. Don’t come back till you’re done.” He’s like, “What?!”
He came back, and was like, “That was the best conversation I’ve ever had.”
And I share that just to emphasize: your wife may be waiting for this conversation. She’s definitely waiting for you to show up—and show up in this way—as the leader of your family. But she also may be desiring the conversation. I hear that a lot.
Christopher Hansen 16:20
I had a situation recently—same thing. This conversation needed to happen. He was incredibly nervous, but prepared himself very well, came in and pretty much said, “I’m not going to be emotionally manipulated. I’m not going to be gaslit. We’re going to have a real conversation.” That was a boundary.
Laid the conversation out—went from her about ready to storm out the door to her breaking down, crying, releasing—and him showing up and being able to comfort her in that space.
It ended up being this really beautiful moment for the two of them. They’re still working—they’ve got a lot of things to do—but wow, it was really, really powerful.
And I don’t think we recognize that, as guys—that our wives want us to have those boundaries. They need us to have those boundaries.
Doug Holt 17:03
Yeah, they do. And that’s masculine energy polarizing with feminine energy, right?
Her breaking down and surrendering into it shows me that she trusted him in that moment—at least. I hear this all the time. And as you know, my wife coaches women, and she’ll tell me all the time—most of the time the wives are just like, “When the F is he going to show up?”
“When is he going to show up as the leader of our house?” And when he does, great things happen.
So this is a way a guy can show up as a leader of the house—by setting these boundaries.
Now again, just to recap for the guys listening:
- First, list your boundaries. These are your “I’m dying on this hill” things.
- Know why they’re important to you. And don’t do this from blame—it’s not about why it’s important that she doesn’t do something or does do something. Why is it important to you? Take your wife out of it. She just happens to be the person there.
- Come with grounded masculinity—that energetic state of love, like you said—from that place.
- And the fourth thing, Chris, is really, in my experience, relating to her how important this really is—not with threats.
So it could look something like:
“Hey babe, I just want to let you know, I feel that when you’re being very critical of me, what that draws up inside me is that I feel like we’re no longer on a team—that you aren’t my partner here.
What I want is for us to always be on the same team, and for us to lift each other up—not put each other down.
I don’t even know if you know that you’re doing it, but the way it’s being received by me is that you’re criticizing me in front of other people, and that hurts—quite honestly.
And I wonder what happened between us, and why we can’t be on the same team.
And working with Chris and the Navigate guys, I’ve realized the value I can bring to our family.
I just want to let you know that I love myself, I love you, and I love our marriage enough that I’m going to be holding a firm boundary against any criticism.
Does that make sense to you?”
Christopher Hansen 19:15
I love that, and that example is going to resonate with so many guys, because a lot of them don’t understand how to deliver it. Yes, right? So that example is going to go a long way for a lot of guys.
Doug Holt 19:25
I mean, and so for a lot of the guys—guys that are in the movement—Clean Slate Method, guys, you’ve got to master the Clean Slate Method. Guys that are not in the movement—meaning you’re not active in a TPM program or haven’t been in one—we’ve done countless podcasts on The Hidden Motives Technique.
I mean, it’s crazy. We’re on a mission to help men, right? We’re on a mission to save children by helping their fathers first.
And when I say that to people, they look at me kind of funny. I’m like, “Why do you think we’ve done 950—or 9 years—I don’t know what podcast number this is anymore, Chris, we’ve done a lot. We give it all away.”
Okay, if you want a proven methodology, you do The Activation Method. It’s a methodology that walks you through all of this. So that’s where I look at mastering something like The Hidden Motives Technique so you can deliver this properly.
The Hidden Motives Technique allows somebody to deliver this without putting blame, you know, so there’s no blame inside of it.
I’d also add—this is a lesson for me that I had to learn. Because, I mean, man, I was just like everybody else: “If you do this… when you criticize me again… if you change, everything’s going to be great…” The threats, all bad—“I’m leaving, I’m taking my ball and going home.”
But when I started learning, “Okay, what if I took the other person out and just said, ‘Hey, when this happens, this is what occurs for me…’”
So, shoot—trying to think of an example I can give. I might go to my wife—maybe my wife is joking with her friends, just being sarcastic and joking, but I end up being the butt of the joke or something like that.
What I could say is something like: “Hey, you know that thing you said to Stephanie in front of the girls? That came across as a little punchy for me. And what that does is, it reminded me of the way my dad used to put me down. It kind of really put me back into that place.
And I’d really like to have a conversation that we don’t put each other down in front of other people. Does that work for you?”
And in my experience, most of the time when I’ve had these conversations—not that exact one—but conversations like that with my wife, she’s like, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize I was doing that,” or “Oh, I’m totally on board.”
Christopher Hansen 21:36
Because it’s not a threat. You’re actually being vulnerable and open about those emotions. You’re sharing a piece of you at that point. And it’s not a threat, right?
Doug Holt 21:44
Well, I’m also telling her—I’m not saying, “You did this, you caused me to feel this way.” I’m saying, “When this happened, what occurred for me—on my side of the street—was this feeling of anxiety or being less than, which reminds me of when my dad used to put me down.”
And so I’m not saying you did something wrong. I’m just saying that this situation that occurred, that I happened to be around—this is what happened for me.
I’m sharing my experience.
The other really cool thing about this that we don’t talk about very much: nobody can deny your experience. No one can say you’re wrong. That’s why—it’s like feelings.
It’s your feelings, Chris. You’re not happy? “That’s a fake lot.” You’re sad? Nobody—dude—nobody can deny your feelings or argue them or your experiences of life.
They just can’t. They can argue the facts. And when you accuse somebody of something or blame them, then really what you’re doing is making them defensive.
You’re giving them an opportunity to defend themselves.
And that analogy with setting boundaries in that manner—the person may not choose the boundary, but they have to respect that that’s what’s going on for you.
Makes so much sense. That’s awesome, man.
Boundaries are such a big thing for everybody to learn. And we all have boundaries, but very few of us communicate them to the other people. Right? We have expectations.
Christopher Hansen 23:08
Yeah. And sometimes we know them, and sometimes we don’t. And sometimes we’ve got to spend some time there.
Doug Holt 23:14
Yeah, right. I love what you did—taking some time away and actually thinking, “Okay, what are my boundaries versus my needs, versus, I think you said, might go to war for, and wants and desires,” right?
Those are also important things to communicate.
But boundaries—again, guys—you have to hold them firm. Right?
Again, if you tell your kids they can’t jump on the couch, and they jump on the couch, and you’re just tired so you let them do it because you’re exhausted—that’s no longer a boundary.
And they’re not going to trust your other boundaries either.
Christopher Hansen 23:44
Do you think too, like, in order to even get to your wants and needs and desires, those boundaries have to be laid down? Because it’s hard to really start communicating those without having those boundaries in place.
Doug Holt 23:55
I think you can do it without having them in place. I think that’s where you’re going to have the most disruption, though—and leaks—is the boundaries. Because if you think of it like a hierarchy of needs, almost, boundaries are at the top. Like, these are my rules for life.
I’ve seen guys come back with hundreds of boundaries. These aren’t boundaries, dude. “My boundary is I’m getting a blow job every day.” That’s not a boundary. That’s a desire—a want. I get it, but that’s not the category we want to put this in.
And so you really want to look at this like—what is it? And I’m sure you do this—what I think is fun is: where did this boundary come from? Is this a societal boundary? Is this a boundary you truly want? Or did you just decide, “Well, we’re not supposed to…”
You’re not supposed to talk to other men. This one actually comes up a lot, where guys will get so angry that their wife is talking to another man.
“Well, we were at a dinner party, and she was talking to this guy. You know, most of the night. I was just so pissed. She was violating my boundaries.”
I’m like, “Have you ever told her talking to another man is a problem?”
“I mean, not me. You just don’t—you don’t do that.”
I’m like, “My wife? I’m cool with my wife talking to other guys. I don’t care.”
Christopher Hansen 25:06
I think we see that sometimes as a weakness. Like, we’re not confident. We lose our confidence, right? Like, we don’t want her to see that piece of us.
Doug Holt 25:15
Well—but also, this guy didn’t communicate to his wife that this was a problem boundary for him, so she doesn’t… Poor woman doesn’t know. And then next thing you know, her husband’s just pissed at her all night for talking to a person of the opposite sex.
Now, if that’s a boundary—a true boundary—versus an agreement… For this guy, it was a boundary. And like, he was going for divorce because of this. But his wife had no clue.
According to him—I actually did talk to this woman at one point—but his wife had no clue at all what was going on. So all she knew is she had a jealous husband that was seemingly mad at her, but she didn’t know why.
So now she’s dysregulated. She doesn’t feel safe. Doesn’t feel seen or heard—all of these things. And you can imagine how that went in the bedroom. Just lack of communication.
100%. So yeah, get clear on the boundaries. Know where they’re coming from. I think that’s a super important thing.
Why is that a boundary for you? Is it because of the way it makes you feel? Is it a theological thing—like, “Hey, Christians don’t do this,” or “Jews don’t do that,” whatever it is?
Or is it something like, “This is a boundary because my parents said we don’t do this”?
But get to the root of it. And then you can start seeing if your boundaries—for yourself—are malleable. And they might be. And you might want to start questioning those things too.
Christopher Hansen 26:27
It makes sense. It’s like pulling back the layers of your own boundaries.
Doug Holt 26:31
Man, yeah. You start to have less and less boundaries. And I will also tell you—the fewer boundaries you have, the more fun life becomes.
And I’m talking about true boundaries. I’m not saying anybody should let themselves be a doormat or anything else. But don’t create so many boundaries and rules because you’re trying to get control.
Because that’s what it is. When I see that, it’s men grasping for control—or women grasping for control—by having 100 boundaries or what have you, so they can control the environment around them.
You lose it. You kind of become the bubble boy, if you will—build your own cell.
Awesome conversation, man. Awesome topic. Thanks for all you’re doing for Navigate. It’s awesome to see that program being a success, helping men around the world. So I just absolutely love it, and appreciate you doing it.
Christopher Hansen 27:21
Yeah, thanks. I’m having a great time, and appreciate all the support, man.
Doug Holt 27:26
Yeah.
Gentlemen, as I always say: in the moment of insight, take massive action.
And so—what are your boundaries? That’s the insight I want you to get. Understand, like Chris was just saying, go someplace. Write your boundaries.
Now, you can leave the house, you could not leave the house—you could go to a coffee shop, your office—but think right now: “Huh, what are my boundaries?”
We all have ones in society that we just kind of agree on, like, “You don’t kill people,” right? Those are kind of boundaries.
But also—cheating. Is that a boundary?
Is lying a boundary?
Is criticism or talking ill of one another a boundary?
Or maybe it’s, “We won’t yell at each other or call each other bad names.”
These are also boundaries.
Figure out which ones yours are. Then also talk to your partner about what hers are.
I think it’s important that both of you know them. But either way—take care of yourself. Start on your side of the street. Define your boundaries.
And then make sure you communicate them in a loving yet firm way.
Guys, we’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man Show.
