Episode #78
In this episode, we talk about the importance of placing an emphasis on your strengths while also being conscious and aware of your weaknesses.
Most of us tend to focus on our weaknesses on a regular basis, but what we encourage at The Powerful Man is to surround instead yourself around people that excel in the categories of your weaknesses.
We encourage our men to take the time to tap in and get to know where they are, their strengths as well as their weaknesses. One of the best ways to get clear on this is by asking those closest to you by creating a space where they can be honest with you.
You will be surprised to hear the strengths they see in you that you didn’t see in yourself.
Double down your strengths but do not ignore your weaknesses. Follow your joy and at the same time be aware of the areas that you can grow in.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to focus on your strengths while slowly improving your weaknesses
- The importance of making an inventory or diagnostics on yourself on a regular basis.
- Unlocking the Powerful Man inside you
- The disadvantages of doing things out of obligation
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Episode Transcript
Doug Holt 0:00
What I could do instead is put safeguards and monitor those weaknesses regularly. Slowly improve them, but not make that my focus. But instead, as a business owner rather than an operator, I bring in people on my team who have strengths in the categories that I’m weakened. Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host Tim, a powerful man Matthews.
That’s never getting old for me. How are you doing, Brother? So Tim, today I want to talk about whether you should focus on your strengths or weaknesses?
Tim Matthews 0:47
Okay. Where are you going with this?
Doug Holt 0:50
Ah, well, so this question was posed to me where somebody said, “Hey, man, I know what I’m supposed to do. I know that I’m supposed to focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses.” And, the premise, they were told by another talking head that’s out there. It’s a very famous person who talks fast and loud, and has a very public persona, and they’re all messaging. I’m hearing this third person, of course, they’re all messaging is look at your weaknesses, don’t even worry about those, ignore them and focus on your strengths and hustle your butt off in that area. Just go after what you’re strong, and now they’re talking about business. And so, this is a premise I disagree with. And that’s the reason I wanted to bring it up for the guys because I think this also has carried over into your personal life.
Tim Matthews 1:46
Hmmm. So true. How’s that working out for this guy?
Doug Holt 1:51
You are not working well and not working well at all. You see this time and time again, when you and I go in, yeah, as a consultant into businesses. And we’re looking in to see what’s happening behind the scenes when we pull back the curtain. And so, first of all, if you’re focusing on your weaknesses, build those up. In my experience, it does pay the price because you really should put more emphasis on your strengths. However, you can ignore your weaknesses. And this is whereas a business owner, we’ll talk about the business side first, and we’ll move into the personal side. As a business owner, I know I have a weakness, and Tim, you’re probably going to disagree with this knowing me. I have a weakness with the details and following up. Not me at all. I’m extreme on the visionary side. But if I have a weakness there, and if I ignore that, I will drop clients. I’ll have things slipping through the cracks left and right. What I could do instead is put safeguards and monitor those weaknesses regularly. Slowly improve them, but not make that my focus. But instead, as a business owner rather than an operator, I bring in people on my team who have strengths in the categories that I’m weakened. So that’s different from ignoring my weaknesses. You ignore your weaknesses in the business, and you’re going to get pummeled. You’re going to lose every time. Now you may be lucky for a little bit, but eventually, someone’s going to come in and build a plug to those holes that you’re missing. Now, the same could be said for Tim in their personal life. If you have a weakness, let’s say in an area of your health. That’s not something to ignore. You don’t necessarily have to double down on something that you can bring in other people to help you with those optics. You still have to be aware and do diagnostics and everything else to know where you stand within your health. Do you find this to be true with the guys?
Tim Matthews 4:00
I’m just reflecting on it. You know what, for me? So if I apply that statement to myself, focus on my strengths and not my weaknesses. I agree that you cannot ignore your weaknesses because that’s where you know. I bet that many business owners listening to this could be wrong, but they don’t know the strengths and weaknesses. Because most of the men that we speak to, if we were to ask them this question, they would have an idea of some of their strengths, but I don’t think they’d be grounded and convicted of the difference between their strengths and their weaknesses. And that’s often because they have just got their head down and just gone for it. And then just hired people as and when they needed them. It is not necessary to balance out their weaknesses, which then ends up with these guys doing things in their life out of obligation rather than sticking to their land. And when they start to do things out of obligation of business, they certainly start to bleed into other areas of their lives. And then start to say yes to things that are a no. People are pleasing, going to certain events or meeting up with some people are. There’s a whole host of things that they say yes to that is a no. And they do them out of obligation, and it robs them of joy in their life. And then equally on the flip side, they end up saying no to things that are really a yes, because we’ve got so used to operating out of obligation that they’ve just lost touch with, knowing who they are and what it is they’re one. As I consider this, I double down on my strengths and ignore their big stems and ignore my weaknesses. I agree with doubling down on my strengths in the way of operating from inspiration. I’m very big on trusting your gut instinct. I’m very big on living a life of flow. What I mean by that is believing that you have been pulled by pleasure. Instead of being pushed by the pain, you can create your company or your life, our force, and an hour of hustle and hour of grind.
And the energy behind it means that you’re never satisfied with it because you’re always going on to the next thing; you always want more. Or you can create your life out of being pulled by pleasure, which is a completely different mindset. It’s a completely different space in which you operate. And in doing so, you’re very clear on what’s a yes and a no. And usually, what’s a yes is going to fall into what your strengths are. And then what’s not will be the things that are your weaknesses, and you find yourself forcing things and procrastinating on things. But at that point, I still wouldn’t ignore them. Just like you’re saying, I would either reach out to you and say, Hey, Doc, take this off my plate, then you’d probably say no, I was true. No, Tim, it’s the details. Paul would have a conversation, wouldn’t we look at what, how do we fix this book. In the area of relationships, imagine if you ignore your weaknesses, your inability to communicate. So many men tell me that they love their wife, and they love their partner, but they’re just shut down. They close down emotionally and struggle to open up and communicate instead of things I want to say. And as a result, their needs are not being met. And that’s when they start to look at porn, look at other women, act out of character, and do things I don’t want to do. But the weakness is in their ability to open up and express themselves. If they ignore that, all that happens is a relationship either breaks down and moves on to the next woman and repeats the same cycle. Or they end up settling and living a life of unfulfillment. So yes, follow your path and follow your joy was what we’re talking about a lot in The Powerful Man, follow your joy. And when are you going to live a great life and at the same time, be aware of areas you either get to grow in that are going to help improve your life. You get to let go of all areas, and other people are doing those things for you.
Doug Holt 8:27
Yeah, it’s so true. And you hear this whole idea, and it goes right in alignment. With the same person who said this, Tim was also saying hustle, go to bed, and wake up at two in the morning. It’s one of these. I make fun of it, but it’s like going to bed at midnight, waking up at two, and getting back to work. You only need to take a nap. And I think they get on these dogmas, and unfortunately, people pick them up. Because they’re so extreme that they become popularized. And for the men listening to this, but you got to get diagnostics around yourself first. Get some practical knowledge of where you are. And one way you can do this is if you don’t know your strengths and weaknesses or ask people close to you. You have things like Strengthsfinder 2.0, and you know you have all these other tests that you can take; Wealth Dynamics has one. But you can also ask the people that are around you. Ask your co-workers, ask your employees, ask your friends, you know. Hey, be honest, what are my strengths and weaknesses? And you have to create a space where they can be honest with you. If you’re the kind of person who’s always abrasive, they’re not going to be honest with you because they don’t trust you. So you have to create that space of trust and find out what your true strengths are and what your weaknesses are. And as you said, Tim, frequently, the men are going to be very surprised, and hopefully, you’re pleasantly surprised that people see all the amazing strengths you have. But don’t hide from those weaknesses, don’t focus on just those weaknesses either. But make a balance there, where you can have your weaknesses covered while working on your strengths. When you’re working on your strengths, you’re working in an area of flow.
And that area flow will allow you to do things so much more effortlessly than you have been before. When you’re doing something you enjoy, time flies the whole, and I think time flies when you’re having fun. Well, part of having fun is working on your strengths. And if you’re always focused on your weaknesses, of course, that’s not going to be fun. By the same token, if you’re doing your strengths and you’re ignoring your weaknesses, you’re going to be destroyed and all the other areas of your relationship. So having those diagnostics, looking at the five territories, regularly, we use the coil within a powerful man system to self-track and monitor yourself but have a powerful diagnostic tool that you can use on a daily, if not a weekly, basis to make sure you’re on track and make sure that you know if they are your weaknesses, that they’re not going to be completely ignored and left to the side. Hey, guys, it’s time to get real. Do you feel bored, burnt out, or broken? Discover the system that over 300 businessmen use to let go of the grind, find inner peace, and unlock near-unlimited personal power. So they can have more time, more intimacy, and better sex while living a life they love without stressing about work or feeling like a fraud. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Freedom right now and discover the insights that you need to get started. Let’s get back to the episode.
Tim Matthews 11:59
No, I think a point as you were speaking on that came to mind for me was so often we have I’ll use myself, many years ago, when I was first getting into the business because of what I always got told. The messages I heard around me, I expected the journey in business to be a hard one. When I wasn’t able to persevere with that and push through it, I then used to get a lot of satisfaction and significance from that. Crumble working God 15,16,17 hours a day, getting in bed at night, and just laying there with my hands behind my head feeling so smug. Because I’ve done it, I push through. And that was a marker of being in business and being successful. And all I had to do was keep on doing that and then one day I was going to arrive and although I was making money, he just never satisfied me. Yeah, the point I’m making here is if you believe that no success, business life is supposed to be hard, then you’re going to seek out the path of most resistance. And you’re more than likely going to be telling yourself that you’ve got to do things you don’t want to do. I.e., you’ve got to do those things in the area of your weakness because when you do focus on your strengths like you were saying, though, life opens up for you. And this is where you start experiencing the five freedoms because you stop operating out of obligation. And you start operating out of your power, really knowing who you are and what it is you want. And that’s a completely different version of what it means to be successful. Because that life is very easy, in the sense that because you are doing the things that you love to do, it just feels effortless. Sure, there are times when it’s a little bit stressful; of course, you still have to experience that. But for the most part, for as much as you give you guys much back. And to focus on your strengths, I think a key thing is questioning that vision that you have in your mind of what it means to be a businessman to create success, what that journey looks like in your head. Is it one of hustle and grind and force and obligation, or is it of ease, opportunity, enjoyment, and fulfillment?
Doug Holt 14:45
And that’s a feeling right that you can have you regularly.
Tim Matthews 14:51
Yeah, for sure. I mean, again, well, a few episodes ago, we spoke about what it takes to become a powerful man and then the territories as well as having self as the first one. For you to get to that point, basically, at that point, you’re experiencing the five freedoms. And to get to that point, you’ve got to go through the three shifts. Now I’ve done a lot of work, and some of you thought between us and between the rest of our leadership team, I imagine we’ve invested—millions into our development and decades as well, and effort and energy. And the thing that has attracted the leadership team, yourself, and other people to this movement is the effectiveness of what we teach. And I think one of the reasons it’s so effective is because we’ve been able to recognize a systematic way to move men from the void in the five agonists into the five freedoms. And every time we see this result happen, time and time and time again. In total transparency, I fought with you a couple of weeks ago, saying, I’ve lost. I was Lou Well, back then, I did. I didn’t realize it at the time, and this was one of them. When I was in the agonies, I was like, and I’d lost gratitude for the results we were getting the men because it was just so second nature. It was just the norm to achieve these phenomenal results. And I’ve lost perspective only momentarily. But the point being is systematic, and it’s a science. Men go through the process, follow the shifts, and then make it to the other side. Obviously, there’s work to be done, and it’s not like you do it once, and then hey, presto, you never need to do it again. Of course, you get your reps in. But the thing is, you get your reps in with a completely different training program, with a completely different training partner, with a completely different trainer in a better gym, with better equipment. So it’s just easier, it’s more enjoyable, and you see results faster. But it’s possible as well, and it is available to you.
Doug Holt 17:08
You just got to take action right at any point in time, you have to make a decision, whether you’re going to step over the line, and take action or step to the line, as we say, and take action or if you’re going to step back, sit behind and keep listening to podcasts, keep putting audiobooks in your car and not making any of the applications. I’ve been there before where you’re kind of. I call it ‘Educational masturbation, where you just constantly digest content, but you’re not doing anything with it. You’re not taking the massive action that’s required to put you in a space to get what you want out of life. You’re not doing that. And that’s where you get to honor your strengths. But also, and also, take action in the areas of making that leap. Maybe you’ve got two jobs, and maybe this is time to leave if it’s not now, when. Because if not now, when are you going to take action? When are you going to get the tools to unlock the powerful magnets inside of you? That’s the question. So Tim, do you have any practical exercises we give the guys one. Reach out to five, at least five people personal and business? Find out what your strengths and weaknesses are? What else can you think that these guys can do right now, in this moment of decision and clarity, to take action a little bit more?
Tim Matthews 18:36
Wow. So I would have you consider what you are doing right now. Where in your life would be a better way for me to phrase this, you were acting out of obligation? Where are you doing things in your business or your relationship or not doing things, and he’s out of obligation you are doing things that you don’t want to do? Because that’s what I was going to do is start to identify a pattern for you, of where you are holding back from giving yourself the permission that’s all it is permitting yourself to be, to do, and to have. What it is that you want because until you know, become aware of them, break the cycle, you’re going to keep repeating it, you know. There’s a quote by Einstein that I love is that the “Problem cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created it.” So if you keep on doing what you’re already doing and expecting a different result, it’s just not going to happen if it’s the definition of insanity. So take inventory on where you’re at now of obligation; maybe it is that you would hold him back from taking that leap and investing in yourself or reaching out for help. Do you feel like you want to do it, but you not maybe don’t want to look weak on it for whatever reason? It means that your affiliate will be able to do it on your own. Maybe it’s something completely different. You want to have a conversation with your wife about your sex life and how you want things to change. And on a side note, first, the conversation you want to have, please make sure you reach out to us first in the community. And do it like that. So yeah, take inventory and start to knock some of these stats through the opposition, start to knock some of these off. And be, do and have, what it is you truly want.
Doug Holt 20:35
That’s great advice. Guys, this is time for you to get some freedom and some clarity in your life. If you haven’t already, go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Freedom. Look at how other guys just like you have already made the change. And like Tim said, go to the Facebook community. Do not be somebody who hides in the shadows. Step forward and be a beacon for other men to see. Ask questions. That’s what we’re here for. Alright, guys, that’s it for us for today. We’ll see you next time on another episode of The Powerful Man show.
