Episode #875
In this episode, we share inspiring, real-life stories of men who’ve gone from the brink of losing everything to experiencing massive transformations in their relationships, businesses, and personal lives. These are men who took action, breaking free from the cycles of frustration, disconnection, and stress that had been holding them back.
You’ll hear how these men reignited their passion for life, rebuilt their marriages, and rediscovered their purpose. Through the teachings of The Powerful Man, they learned that true transformation is not just about saving a marriage or overcoming a rough patch—it’s about continuous, unending growth. Doug and Tim explain how these men embraced the hard truths about themselves and stepped up as leaders in their homes, businesses, and communities.
This episode goes deep into the challenges that married men, especially business owners, face when juggling the demands of work, family, and personal fulfillment. Whether it’s overcoming feelings of inadequacy, reconnecting with a distant spouse, or finding peace amidst the chaos, this conversation provides practical strategies and mindset shifts that can lead to lasting change.
Perfect for men feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or on the verge of giving up, this episode serves as a reminder that it’s never too late to take control of your life. The path to unending growth is always available—you just have to take the first step.
Listen in, get inspired, and begin your own journey of transformation today.
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Transcription
Tim Matthews 0:00
What shifts have you seen in your life post-reset? You mentioned the health one. What else?
Michael Bain 0:07
The health one… I don’t know anybody in my life who has not seen it, from family to friends. I hear it all the time, and I want to add to that: those gentlemen, this movement, this organization, you have played a small part in saving three of my kids.
Tim Matthews 0:30
If you recall the last episode, you will have heard from Mr. Kelly Disiewich, one of the amazing men currently volunteering at the Alpha Reset. Well, luckily for you and for me, we’ve been able to pull out another one of those amazing volunteers, and you’re going to hear his story in a minute. This is an amazing man who has another amazing journey to share, and without any ado, let’s get into it. Mr. Michael Bain, how are you, sir?
Michael Bain 1:12
Great, really good.
Tim Matthews 1:14
Yeah? How’s it been the past couple of days? Because these past couple of days have touched you in a big way.
Michael Bain 1:22
I heard through my pack a couple of guys who had volunteered, and they came back with an amazing story of what it had done for them. It hit me; it’s what I knew I needed along my journey. My story hasn’t been shaping the way I had envisioned it, but I’ve been building and growing on that daily. I knew it was what I needed. It has not been at all what I expected. I just figured, you know, give back. The movement has meant a lot to me, and in my natural giving spirit, I thought, “I’m going to give back, give back to something that I’ve taken or received a lot from.” So that’s what I thought I was coming up here for—to be a quasi-cook, quasi-errand boy, just anything that Mark needed. But it has been so far from that. Just the ability to do some of those things, to actually help out in the kitchen, but more so take part in the whole process again.
Uh, it’s like I already told you before we got on camera, you’ve got me at a disadvantage. We’re on day three, so it’s all coming together again, and just the emotion of it all. I knew what it meant when I was here as a participant. I knew what it meant to me. Then coming back and getting to experience it from the outside, looking in… as you said, I think somebody said tenfold—it’s a hundredfold. I see a little bit of myself in every man in there—volunteers, Mark, everybody—and the nine gentlemen that are in there. I think the thing that I’m taking away is what’s so amazing to me is whether it’s the United States, whether it’s Canada (I’ve got lots of contacts in the UK now), South Africa—we’re just men. We’re just men with a common bond, a common cause. I wish I could find the word, but it’s so…
When I left here last time, everybody used “transformational.” I’m an against-the-grain kind of guy, so I didn’t want to use “transformational.” In fact, I remember in my exit interview, I said my word was “elevation.” I felt like I was elevated. How dumb I was—I’m transformed. After this week, I’m transformed. I want to sit here and lie and tell everybody what a bad experience it is, so maybe they won’t ever sign up to be a volunteer, and I can come back time after time by default. But no, it really is a transforming event, a transforming situation for me. I came here to help men grow, to be a mentor and help them grow, and I’m the one growing. I’m the one receiving the growth in this.
Tim Matthews 4:57
I love how huge your heart is, brother. Let’s share with the listeners a little bit about your journey, because the people that are going to be listening to this—there are going to be guys in the movement that are considering volunteering, which we’ve kind of spoken to a bit there, and we’ve got guys who are considering joining The Activation Method for themselves. So, as I was sharing with you earlier, but just to give the listeners a bit of a backstory, we’ve had this program for eight years. We kind of hit a pause on a piece of the program during COVID because we couldn’t run events, obviously. But essentially, the men go through a process in The Activation Method for self, which is totally focused on self. Obviously, the Relationships segment is focused on relationships, and it culminates in the Alpha Reset. Previously, well, over the past few years, there hasn’t been a way for anybody to get access to the Alpha Reset unless they went through the program and were in the Brotherhood.
Because we want to help more people, we’re now going to open it up by enabling them to go through a group coaching process in the beginning, called The Activation Method, for obvious reasons. Certain things happen at a reset, so we want them to experience certain things together, and it culminates in the reset. Some of the people listening to this will be people who are considering going through that process and ultimately going through the reset. What advice would you give to a guy who is listening to this, who is feeling a bit lost, stuck, kind of like he’s spinning his wheels? On the outside, he looks like he has it all together. On the inside, he feels like it’s falling apart, and he doesn’t know what to do. This is one of his options—what advice would you give him?
Michael Bain 7:10
In setting that up, I was that guy. I was coasting through life with selfish confidence. Things in life that you’ve heard about happening to other guys—not me. My wife and I’s relationship was drifting apart. I didn’t realize it because I didn’t acknowledge it. I just thought, you know, any disagreement here and there was just a pothole on the road—we just navigated the pothole and went on. But I never, ever thought it was something obstructive in our marriage. One day, I woke up to her finally getting the courage to verbalize it to me, and she verbalized it in a way that floored me. It was my wake-up call.
It floored me in a way that made me realize I was in desperation. It was the first time I ever really felt that way, certainly in a relationship. In my desperation, I went online—just kind of what we do nowadays, right? Rather than facing it head-on, we seek advice somewhere else. So, I went online to try and get advice, to figure out what was going on. And by the grace of God, I came across a TPM ad. I’ve told this story a million times. I reached out at like 2:30 in the morning, or 3:00 AM, wherever I was, and filled out an application, or at least the online application, for some feedback. And because of the different time zones, literally by 6:30 or 7:00 that morning, somebody reached out to me. That got my attention, to begin with—that was a sign. I had the first call, and by 11 that morning, I was already receiving the follow-up call.
The first call was to calm me down, in my words, because I was kind of on the cliff’s edge. The second call was to find out my intent—was I really ready to accept moving forward? And I did. I just remember going through the whole process, and I could tell you the conversation verbatim, but I won’t, because it’s so crystal clear to me. Moving ahead in The Activation Method taught me to put in some work. It taught me some lessons—that yeah, we all have shortfalls, we all have shortcomings—but it taught me to put in the work. More so, it got me on the path of putting in the work for me. The emphasis that I took was more about fixing myself.
Doug Holt 10:33
Hey guys, I wanted to interrupt this episode because it’s dawned on me that many of you aren’t aware that we actually have a book on how to save your marriage without talking about it. Now, thousands of men have read it, they’ve reviewed it, and I want to give you the opportunity to do the same. If you’re interested in grabbing it, it’s a short read, but it’s helped a lot of men, just like you. Maybe you’re not interested in The Activation Method yet, but this is a small entry point that can really turn things around for you. Go over to Amazon—we have it priced as cheap as Amazon will let us—and that way you have a resource that you can use right now to start getting some results in your marriage. Now, let’s get back to the episode.
Michael Bain 11:10
If I could show you a picture of me 15 months ago… that’s one of those success “wows.” I was 80 pounds heavier for no reason, just because life was easy. I didn’t have anybody holding me accountable but myself, and I wasn’t holding myself accountable. That was just me—the happy-go-lucky me. As part of committing to me, obviously, I started the physical aspect of it. Then came the mental aspect, then really opening up and breaking through some barriers that, selfishly, I didn’t know I had.
I know I’m jumping, but going from The Activation Method which was very valuable to me and taught me some valuable lessons about what she was needing, what she was asking me for—opening up my heart to hear her needs—while I was focusing on myself but also on proverbially saving the marriage, that took me into the Brotherhood without hesitation. I couldn’t get enough of it. Without hesitation, I went into the Brotherhood after the invitation to go further. Got into a great pack, a great coach—just accountability and learning all the time. It’s invaluable.
As part of the Brotherhood, obviously, The Alpha Reset is—I’m gonna say part of the curriculum—it’s obviously heavily stressed. But wow, The Alpha Reset in and of itself, the processes that you receive, the support, the love, sharing of that common bond, but really the processes make you dig so deep within yourself… transformational. I’m well into my 50s, and, you know, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks—that’s… I won’t say it’s BS, not sure what I need to be saying, but yeah, that’s BS. You can teach an old dog new tricks, because the reset really, really, really is a focused application to get you to dig deep within yourself. Transformational.
If I could give anybody advice, it would be: get out of your head. Don’t think about it, just commit to it. If you want to do right by yourself, commit to it and stop thinking about it—just go. You will not be disappointed.
Tim Matthews 14:19
What shifts have you seen in your life post-reset? You mentioned the health one—what else?
Michael Bain 14:25
The health one… I don’t know anybody in my life who has not seen it, from family to friends. I hear it all the time, and now it’s kind of funny because the same friends who were not holding me accountable before are now holding me accountable. I get it all the time. I know specific friends will look at where I’ve come to, look at what I’ve done. “You’re not even the guy I used to know,” and they constantly remind me. If I start to stray a little bit, they remind me, “You’re not even the same guy.” “Look at what you’ve done, look at where you’re going.” It’s just constant positive feedback.
Now, I may gain 100 pounds. I won’t gain 100 pounds—I will not do that—because I realize now how stupid it was to let myself, health-wise and body-wise, get to that point. So, I know I won’t. The point I was going to make is, I may gain 100 pounds, I may do this, I may do that, but in my heart and in my head, I’m transformed forever. I will never go back to that.
Tim Matthews 15:46
Because you said I described that guy—the before version—and you said, “I was that guy.” That guy was the one who outwardly looked successful, but inwardly felt very different, lost, spinning his wheels. So who’s the guy after? How would you summarize him? I know you’re saying transformed, but how’s he transformed? People see it, but the summary of the guy before—lost, spinning his wheels, outwardly successful but feeling very different. How would you summarize the guy after? The guy now?
Michael Bain 16:26
Now, that guy gets up, looks in the mirror, and is proud of what he sees in the mirror. He looks forward to getting dressed, whether it be going to work or just going out in life every day, because he truly does have the confidence, and truly does have the direction in his life, that he wants to make a difference. He felt like he was making a difference before, but it was all acts. Now, it’s actions. Now, I really want to go out and make a difference through actions that I can stand behind and feel good about, not just these so-called acts that you’re kind of hiding behind.
Tim Matthews 17:12
I love that. I love that. It’s a huge shift. One guy once described it as though it was like he was wearing glasses, and when he took the glasses off, he realized, “Oh, the sky is blue, the grass is green.” It was like he was living in black and white before, and all of a sudden, he realized the world was in color, and there was so much vibrancy and richness—he then had that with his kids, with himself, and with life in general.
Michael Bain 17:41
I shared with you this morning just a little bit about what I’ve been thinking. Mark and Andy did my reset. I’m fortunate enough to spend another The Alpha Reset with Mark. Mark’s masterful—what a great man. He’s masterful in how he presents and how he gets the most out of you. I commented to you this morning that having a job like Mark’s must be like an OBGYN. I mean that in the sense of someone who gets to bring life into the world every single day. They actually get to see the miracle of life coming to fruition every single day. Very similar—Mark doesn’t bring life in, but Mark gets to see life reborn. And that’s honest, that’s truly how I feel.
You asked, “The previous version versus the current version.” That’s how I feel—it’s like I’ve been given a chance to be reborn. Not just from a spiritual level, but as a man, just reborn.
Tim Matthews 19:02
Yeah. Our mission is to save the kids by saving their fathers first. And you, my friend, have just played an incredible role in helping to transform the lives of 10 or so men in that room. I want to thank you for contributing to the mission that we’re on. Now, this year, our target is to impact 9,590 kids by getting to the fathers first, and every bit of help is much welcomed and received. So, I want to thank you because you’ve played a key role in supporting these men, in rebirthing them, and helping them to be where they’re at right now. So, from me and the TPM team, thank you very much.
Michael Bain 20:02
The honor has been a blessing to me. And I want to add to that: those gentlemen, this movement, this organization, you have played a small part in saving three of my kids.
Tim Matthews 20:29
Any final words?
Michael Bain 20:32
I’ve been filled with thoughts and emotions inside about what this has meant to me. The Powerful Man—I know that the movement has been transformational for so many. There have been talks and ideas about transforming or elevating it up to father-son programs, expanding into different areas, and just growing the movement as it very well should be grown. Even while I was here, and I know I’m not the first one to ask the question, just out of curiosity, what would that ever look like if The Powerful Man expanded? We kind of decided the Powerful Man and the Powerful Woman were oxymorons—that they would collide. But what about a woman’s version of The Powerful Man movement?
I just allowed myself to sit back and take that in, sit back and think about it for a while. Because if every woman had the opportunity to experience what this movement is all about… I guess I’m going to narrow it down and selfishly say if I was in a relationship with a woman who had the opportunity to participate in this program and benefit from it and get the same raw emotions and direction from it that I have received—wow. Marital problems, relationship problems, or any kind of problems would not exist. If we were all on the same basis, where everybody “got it”… I know that’s a very inspired dream, but if everybody got it—if everybody understood the concept of what this movement truly means—we wouldn’t have any issues in this world. Leading by example.
Tim Matthews 22:53
Well said. And yeah, we’ll continue that conversation. So, guys, you’ve heard it from yet another incredible man—the world needs you. Your kids need you. Your family needs you. Your community needs you. Your business needs you. You need you. You are your number one asset. You are the best investment you can make in yourself, whether that’s with TPM or anywhere else. Look, just take action. If any of this has resonated with you, take action because you’re worth it and you deserve it. We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man Show.
