How Matt Turned it Around – A true story from the man they call The Sentry

Episode #822

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Transcription

Matt Euler  0:00  

They once my marriage felt in jeopardy to me, I could care less about the business, the businesses, the money, it hit a chord for me that became real in my priorities got into line very quick. And I personally think, you know, when you’re in a marriage, it’s you’ve got two mirrors reflecting back to each other. And it is about growing together. And it is not going to be perfect because I was driven by enormous fear. I mean, that’s what had me getting up at the crack of dawn. And oftentimes, I would wake up with a panic attack. So one of the things that came to me as you were talking about that is that a dear friend and mentor of mine many, many years ago, kind of commented that, you know, life will tap you on the shoulder a few times, and give you a couple, you know, warning shots. And if you don’t listen, you get the knockout punch.

Doug Holt  0:38  

Hey, guys, welcome back to the TPM show. We are joined with a very special guest, I’ve have Matt Euler. Here. Matt has not only been through the program, but he is a family man, a businessman. He is the owner of multiple companies. And this is going to be a really exciting conversation. So stick around, Matt, thanks for being here, buddy.

Matt Euler  1:07  

Thanks, Doug. It’s an honor. Yeah.

Doug Holt  1:09  

It’s been really fun to watch your journey. And I was thinking about this. I think last night, it was almost a year ago, you were here at the TPM Ranch for your The Alpha Reset the very first one we had. That’s right. Yeah. Such an exciting time. Well, let’s catch up. Let’s catch people up that don’t know you as well. And let’s talk about your journey. where you are today, where you’ve come from, and with the guys get to know you a little bit better. Sounds great.

Matt Euler  1:34  

Yeah, so my journey, you know, it honestly started a long, long time ago. And it started with me trying to find personal development. You know, like so many people, I had a rough childhood with all kinds of trauma and drama. And so I turned my focus to personal development. And I searched and I, I took action. I mean, I chased and I attended all kinds of programs and things to try to find the peace and the harmony in my life that I was looking for, and had been on that search for a long, long time. And so I guess, you know, fast forward to what brought me to TPM. There was a season of my marriage where in my family, our kids were getting older, and it started to disrupt my wife’s harmony with, you know, some empty nest stuff and purpose and trying to find her way. And man, it rocked my world. Yeah, totally rocked my world.

Doug Holt  2:27  

Yeah. So it’s a common thread, right is, as men, we think, and I went through this, you know, I had this illusion that as soon as I said, I do, then I put my head down and get to work, right? And that’s exactly what I did. So I think a lot of guys do this, we go, okay, cool. Check that box. I’m committed to this. And now let’s go conquer the world. And I’ll go out there and provide for my family.

Matt Euler  2:49  

Absolutely. And that that was me to a tee. And I have a tendency to take life and my commitments real serious. And so that’s exactly what I did. I mean, we were a blended family. So when we all came together, my my obligations, you know, multiplied. It was very significant. And man, I put my head down, and I started charging and, and what I was charging towards was this vision of, okay, once our kids are grown and out of a house, then then my wife and I get to play. Yeah. And, you know, through that process of, I missed some things. Because, you know, the image of my head down is probably a good image, and maybe an image that a lot of guys can relate to, because I wasn’t watching what was going on around me. Yeah.

Doug Holt  3:36  

I think what will Why do you think men are so they just don’t catch the signs. Why do you think men are oblivious to what is going around?

Matt Euler  3:49  

You know, for me, I think I can get so focused, that, you know, it’s kind of like if you’re, if you’re watching one thing so intently that everything else is kind of in the peripheral or not even in the peripheral. And that’s what was happening to me. So I was so focused on this outcome that I thought my wife and I both wanted, that I wasn’t, I wasn’t seeing what was happening on the sidelines. Yeah,

Doug Holt  4:13  

that’s a common thing that guys talk about. And then conversely, women will say, when I talked to them, of, hey, I’ve been telling my husband this for years, and he’s just not getting it. He’s not seeing the signs. And then, you know, men join the program, and then all of a sudden, they start making those changes. And she’s like, Hey, well, I’ve been telling these for years. Why are you doing it now?

Matt Euler  4:34  

Yeah. And for me, it wasn’t, you know, what was on the sidelines for my wife was that she was struggling. And she was becoming unhappy just trying to find her purpose. And, and again, I was doing everything I thought I needed to do and was supposed to do. I mean, I was working hard I was providing Well, I was carving out time for the kids but but I was compromising myself in the process and and and the time and attention that she really deserved and in wanted.

Doug Holt  5:00  

So okay. And so this is all going down and you discover TPM, and you went through The Activation Method for relationships. That was our flagship program. Talk to me about that journey. How did what was occurring for you and in your world during that time? Yeah,

Matt Euler  5:19  

well, I had started to wake up to what was going on around me before The Activation Method. So fortunately, I had some consciousness around what was happening in my in, in my wife, Audrey was starting to feel more grounded as well. So it was honestly a perfect transition. But the but if I had to pick one thing that The Activation Method helped me with, it was how to fill my cup again, and how to find my rhythm and balance, you know, I use the term balance, but honestly, I think rhythm is more accurate. So that I had something to give outwardly, because then I’m happy to talk about this if you’d like, but I had become a machine. I mean, I literally was so focused on tasks at hand. That wasn’t living anymore. Yeah.

Doug Holt  6:03  

And I think a lot of us do that. Right. And I know for me, and let me know if this is for you, is at some point, I didn’t know what else to do. So I just doubled down on what seemed to be working, right. It was like, Okay, well, what do I do for fun? Well, it’s business, I’m good at it. And people seem to like it when I do it. So I’ll just double down on the businesses that I own and work in, and then everything will be good. And I’ll figure out the rest later.

Matt Euler  6:30  

But it’s absolutely right. And same for me. And, and so I went to what I knew, which is how to have a lot of horsepower. So I dug even deeper into work. And during that period of time, I had a good friend of mine passed away and my father passed away. So I became trustees of their estate, which became a whole nother full time job, get that done, and I just became a machine and doubled down and in to transition to what I realized was that once my marriage felt in jeopardy to me, I could care less about the business, the businesses, the money. It hit a chord for me. Yeah, that became real. And my priorities got into line very quick

Doug Holt  7:16  

as they should. And it’s unfortunate that a lot of men don’t, right. And you know, this, you’ve seen guys go through this sort of situation. So have I, unfortunately, I get on the phone with some of these guys on our team does. And for some reason, you know, guys start thinking, Well, I’ve worked so hard for this business, therefore, I can’t, I can’t lay off of it. Right? They don’t feel like they can budge. And for me, what the one things I always talk about Matt is imagine yourself when you’re 70, at whatever age you want to do, you’re sitting on your porch, rocking chair, drinking some lemonade, whatever. And you’re looking back at your life, what are you most proud of? Where do you most? Where did you want your your former self to spend your time and we look back at our, our fit 60s 50s 40s 30s Whatever that age is, almost all the guys at the exception of one guy has always told me my family. Right? Yet the priority that they focus on we focus on his men is in the business. Yeah,

Matt Euler  8:15  

and in that rocking chair test is actually what I was working for. Yep. Was time with family. Yeah, but yet I was missing the I was missing that on the path to a large extent. And again, I want to clarify, I mean, I carved out time for my kids and for events, but I was so occupied in my head, with the tasks at hand with business, that I wasn’t 100% Present. And I was also compromising my health. I mean, the way that I was able to show up at these events was by waking up at the crack of dawn. Yeah, in working, you know, three, four or five hours before anybody else even woke up. Yeah. And that I realized later was extremely unhealthy and also prevented me from being present. Yeah, I’m guilty as

Doug Holt  9:01  

charged as well. Right. And I go through my seasons of still doing that right for depending on what I’m working on what I’m doing. It’s always good to have that calibration to get you back. And it’s the difference for me if you do it for a season that you know has is coming to an end. But a lot of us get caught up in that seasons a decade, right. 10 years later, 20 years later, whatever it may be. So you’re going through the program, things with Audrey are starting to get better sounding like Absolutely. And then. So we then eventually jumped forward and went into The Brotherhood, which is our one year kind of one year more advanced program for men that includes The Alpha Reset, which that’s where you and I got chance to meet to hear right at the TPM Ranch. Yes. Tell me about that experience in The Brotherhood and what you went through and now for reset. Yeah, and

Matt Euler  9:45  

if I can jump back to the activation maps for one second. So The Activation Method really helped me to develop my consciousness back to the seasons. Yep. Because again, I now look at, you know, some of the work projects that I get into I focused on them as Sprint’s Yeah, as opposed to this, you know, 20 year marathon that I’m in. And The Activation Method really helped me to ground with, okay, in order for me to give something to others, I need to be able to give to myself, and also pace myself and find that balance and be conscious of it. Yeah. And so a lot of things. And I think you’d refer to him here, you know, the IRS and the decompression. At the end of the day, a lot of those tools that I learned in The Activation Method have been crucial to me, and I still practice them every day, to make sure that I’m conscious of where is my energy? And how am I showing up for the people that I love and care about?

Doug Holt  10:41  

Yeah, and so I’m gonna assume since things are going better on the family front, you gave up all your business activities.

Matt Euler  10:48  

Question? No, I did not. And I was, I was very fortunate and blessed, although, honestly, I could have cared less. But I was very fortunate and blessed that as I pulled way away from a lot of my business activity, that they continued, and, and I was able to do what I needed to do, but I wasn’t just overdoing it. Yeah. So from a business perspective, everything managed just fine. But yet, I was able to gain this relationship with myself that I had not had before. And certainly a much deeper connection and clarity, with my family and my priority. Being my family,

Doug Holt  11:24  

I love it. It’s so many of the men that go through the program, fear pulling back on their business, they fear all of a sudden, well, if I start, if I don’t wake up at four in the morning and get right to email or working with somebody overseas, or whatever it is, then everything’s gonna fall apart. Or if I actually take time away from work, everything’s gonna fall apart, only to find that when they actually fill their own cup or take care of themselves. They don’t have to work as much as it’s much more efficient businesses actually grow.

Matt Euler  11:53  

Absolutely. And I’m still remind myself of that every day when I’m taking time to fill my cup as opposed to produce something in business. But I I honestly feel like the there are times in life and whether it’s a health crisis, or a family crisis, or whatever it may be where, honestly, nothing else matters. Yep. Even though I wasn’t looking forward to that moment, the reality is from that comes a whole lot of peace, because I was driven by enormous fear. I mean, that’s what had me getting up at the crack of dawn. Yeah. And oftentimes, I would wake up with a panic attack. That’s how I get up. And the way I dealt with the uncomfortableness that I was feeling inside in the fear was to do something. Yeah. And that was a was an effective crutch for a period of time. But then it became a bandaid that needed to get ripped off. Probably. Yeah.

Doug Holt  12:43  

Absolutely. And I think that’s what it is right? For a lot of guys. They’re scared to rip the band aid off, right? It’s kind of like my kids, my kids, I put a bandaid on him. And they don’t want it ripped off because it’s gonna hurt. But the reality is, is if you rip it off quickly, that pain goes away fast. And that’s what you need to do.

Matt Euler  12:59  

Absolutely. Yeah.

Doug Holt  13:00  

So let’s talk about, we’ll talk a little bit more about your journey. So you, you’re going through that you decide to continue on after The Activation Method. Continue your growth. What’s what’s the next season for you?

Matt Euler  13:12  

Yeah, so the next season for me with The Brotherhood was really the the relationships that I’ve developed, that I had developed in The Activation Method were relationships that I firmly believe I’ll have for the rest of my life. Yeah. And the my pack, which is what we call our group, you know, my pack is, is people that know me and care about me in a way that honestly, like some I’ve never met. So let’s just say that, I mean, I’ve got some amazing people in my life. And now I have more because of The Activation Method. So when it came time to for The Activation Method season to end, The Brotherhoodd was an obvious step for me. And interestingly enough, I don’t remember the number but the vast majority of my PAC all joined The Brotherhood as well. So it was like our, our time together, got to continue and our growth together got to continue at a new level, which is what I saw that The Brotherhood as is kind of the next step up in the process of, you know, connecting with me and showing up better for my family and my in the people in my world. I love

Doug Holt  14:17  

it. And we look we fast forward to today. Where’s Matt at?

Matt Euler  14:22  

Yeah, so where’s Matt at? Well, I’m about you know, The Brotherhood for me was just completed not too long ago. So I’m looking at what’s next. Yep. Because I want to continue that continuity and those relationships and I also one of the things I love so much about the powerful man as a as a movement is that I’m plugged in to people who care who are conscious you know some of the things that the guys in the in the in TPM in my pack and have, the way they care for me and communicate with me is different than most the time I’m a firm believer that as men, we are all warriors in many ways. And I think there’s huge power in being able to communicate with other men in a way that shares your heart and your feelings and your wins and your, in your sadness. And, and that’s what I have found in this community. That’s just invaluable to me. Yeah,

Doug Holt  15:19  

I mean, iron sharpens iron. It’s like a cliche that everybody hears time and time again. But I think for businessmen like yourself, you’re at the top of the tree, you know, where you are, as somebody, you know, if I can share it, you own many businesses, yes. So you own a lot of businesses, which hopefully, we can talk about at some point of how you were able to do that. But also, so you can’t just go talk to your staff or your employees, about personal issues, your fears, your doubts. The fact that maybe marriage isn’t, isn’t playing out the way you thought it was going to. And so that’s where I think the TPM community really comes in, is you have all of these men that are at the top of their tree in their area, whether it be their industry, or their location that they’re in now can come together, and very succinctly and privately share those things. And guys that don’t have any skin in the game, so to speak, right? So they don’t get to take financial advantage of the advice they give you. They’re gonna give you honest, real advice. And sometimes, in my experience, it’s not the, you know, they’re straightforward, they’re not gonna pull any punches. They’re gonna be honest with you, and very truthful. Absolutely.

Matt Euler  16:25  

And I count on that, and I know the guys and then I’m communicating with and then The Brotherhood, they count on it from me. Yeah. And so I see it, you know, the term mastermind Alliance is a common term. But that’s kind of, to a large extent, but I see this community as and I know, I could pick up the phone, as soon as we’re finished here and reach out to five or six or 10, guys, and they would take my call, and they would carve out the time necessary to show up for me, and I would absolutely do the same for them. And that’s unique.

Doug Holt  16:56  

It is invaluable. I think so too. It was one of the things when we started TPM, it was kind of that idea that originally we were looking for that clubhouse, if you will, and couldn’t find it. So we’re like, Okay, we got to build it, right? And we got to build this group of men, that are business owners, but also like adventure, fun family values, right? They want to be there for their family as well. And we couldn’t find it anywhere else in the world. So we built that and coming now we have, like, there’s about 1400 active men within the general community. And to your point, just yesterday, I saw a thread and a guy who runs a very large company that was very sales-focused. He had a question about artificial intelligence software. Within seconds, that question was answered by somebody in a completely different industry, who had the practical knowledge of like, Hey, we’ve implemented this, do use this, not that, and it’ll save you a ton of money. And so it’s not just about saving your marriage, or just about saving yourself. We’re also all businessmen. And so we’d like to talk about business. And you almost can’t stop us right? At the end of the day, which I think makes the community super special.

Matt Euler  18:04  

Absolutely. And, you know, when we started talking today, I said it was an honor to be here. And that’s why it’s an honor. I mean, the what, what you and Tim and Arthur have created here is something that I had been searching for, since I became old enough to know what I needed to search for, and had not found for 30 years or more. And so it truly is an honor to be part of the movement that you all have created and continues to grow. And it’s something that I think, honestly, I think most men need and are seeking would benefit by the end, after searching long and hard for so many years to discover it almost by accident that I’m just convinced that.

Doug Holt  18:46  

Yeah. I think back about what someone’s about eight years ago that Tim and I got together, I think we had one other person on the team. And now fast forward to today, I think there’s about 36 of us, with coaches and staff and support team coming through there. And what makes it special is obviously the men in the program. And I don’t I only share this because I think what’s really cool people would be shocked is we’re a bit we’re running the movement, like a business. We’re all business guys and women. And we use Slack and the channel that blows up the most slack isn’t marketing, sales, operations, legal, or any of that stuff. We have a client wins channel. The company culture is such that the organization’s culture such that client wins is the foundation of everything. So how do the men win? Is it man reconciling a marriage? Is that a man finding his fitness for the first time? Is it a man, whatever is happening for that guy, when they share it in the community, we all celebrate it as a team. And that also happens with inside the community as well which so this is just special. There. It

Matt Euler  19:51  

really is. And you know, I just think about them after my reset, which was very powerful for me The interview that I shared at that point was just, it’s life-altering, it truly is life altering. So honestly, I can’t say enough, I don’t know if this is the direction you intended. But I am a huge fan of what you all are doing and honored to be a part of it. So I

Doug Holt  20:20  

don’t have a direction when we think most of the guys that watch this show, no, it’s just a conversation. You know, one of the questions I’m imagining the guys are wondering, because we started off with you and Audrey, we’re at not at odds, but you guys are at a crossroads in your life. How are things now?

Matt Euler  20:37  

Yeah, things now are greatly improved. And again, I maybe I’m cautious to say they’re just perfect. Because I don’t know if you know, I think the life I’ve learned is kind of like the tides. I mean, they have been they flow and there are seasons. But what I will say is that I’m healthier now than I’ve ever been. And I think again, part of what you all teach is the idea of leading as a man. And I don’t know that I will. I know I was not doing that. Well, before I was leading myself, well, in a lot of ways as far as getting done what needed to get done. But I was not leading my family in the same way. And so I do feel like that, Audrey now appreciates some of the leadership, she also appreciates the stability in my moods, and my being healthier. You know, my mood wasn’t great on three and a half or four hours asleep, you know, and I guess, oh, task-oriented, that almost everything else was a distraction. So I think the healthier I am, the happier she is. And we’re still we’re still human. And we’re still working our way through life and trying to find our joys and our passion and our harmony and all

Doug Holt  21:41  

of that. You mean it’s not perfect all the time? Come on. I know. I think that’s the realism, right? As you went out, we went out to dinner last night with my family, which was such a blast. At least I had fun. The kids had fun, got a chance to meet you, and went through it. And we were talking about life and you’re talking to my wife about the ups and downs. My wife and I are I think one of the things that we decided to do a long time ago is just be very open with people about the struggles that we’ve had. And I have yet to meet a couple once we talk about our struggles that don’t share theirs, right. They don’t admit like, yeah, it looks. We’re Instagram perfect, right? Or at Facebook, perfect. Online. And then you get you talk to people about their real struggles. And what’s interesting to me, Matt, is women talk about this with each other all the time, my wife will say Oh, yeah, we get together, it’s just we talk about our husbands all all these things, the complaints, or what have you. Men don’t all go out with their husbands, you know, for a beer, we’ll go out to dinner or whatever it is. And nothing has talked about their marriage. It’s just not done. Conversely, my wife will go out that same group with the you know, the partners, and she’ll be like, oh, yeah, they’re not doing well. This is happening over here. You know, she has all the dirt, if you will. Yeah. And it’s interesting to me that we don’t have that assembly like people aren’t as forthright with look, we’re human. We’re not perfect. None of us are we have our ebbs and flows. But we’re doing the best we can.

Matt Euler  23:09  

Yeah. Well, and I totally agree. I mean, and I think it’s unfortunate in a lot of ways because the reality is manners are people too. And even though we are warriors at times, the reality is this stuff is real. Yeah, life is not perfect. And I personally think you know, when you’re in a marriage, it’s you’ve got two mirrors, there’s reflecting back to each other and it is about growing together and it is not going to be perfect. And to me the juices in getting to know somebody’s heart and what’s really going on for them and in even just listening can be a support but it’s it’s frickin life.

Doug Holt  23:45  

Yeah, it is life. Yeah, I think a lot of us tried to hide the demons we’re facing and or what we’re working on. And the reality is everybody can see right through it. Right? Which is so obvious. Yeah.

Matt Euler  23:59  

And when you to me at least, you know what, what I resist persists. In that the sooner and the sooner I’m willing to go in and say wow, this is real for me, and find somebody that I can trust to share that with. Yep, a lot of the energy from it leaves and all of a sudden life starts to show up better at least that’s been my experience mine

Doug Holt  24:17  

as well mine as well. And one of the things we were talking about at dinner I’m gonna shift gears here if I can. Which is so interesting. I think the guys also want to know is about you, as a businessman, okay, and what it is that you do do so, obviously, your business broker will obviously to me gotta know. And you also have equity in a lot of businesses. Let’s just say that and you have a new course coming out on how to teach people on how to buy businesses as part of their portfolio. Would you want to stick around and do another episode just on this because I think that could be a deep dive? That’d be an alternate that we don’t normally do here on the show and talk about that business and what it is you’d absolutely I’d love to get I think a lot of the guys will find that fascinating. So as I’m looking at your journey through that the user journey arc, right? You’re in, your early age or 20s, or what have you, and you’re doing a lot of personal growth and development searching for that piece of freedom. You come up into your 40s, right? And you’re married, you’re busting your butt. Things are going well, at least we all think they’re going well. And then you come up and you you, you go goods, this wall, and then you seek counsel, right? Essentially, look for some someone to give help, which is TPM is the one that comes to your mind. And now you’re starting to repair your marriage, and really reconcile that part of yourself coming through and coming out the other side of that, and then want to share that with the guys is the hope of hey, things are a lot better than they were. And now I can see a lot clearer. Is that a fair assessment? Absolutely. Okay, yeah. Yeah, cuz I think, I think that what you’ll find is a lot of men, who will listen to this are in that hope stage is can I pull this together? What advice would you give to a guy who’s listening to this? He’s running on the treadmill, or he’s driving his car right now heading to work. And gosh, you know, his wife is roommate now and they’re not talking or they’re disengaged. He’s wondering cheese, man, is this even worth it?

Matt Euler  26:20  

Yes, that’s a big question. Or at least that brings up a lot for me. Yeah. So one of the things that came to me as you’re asked, as you were talking about that is that a dear friend and mentor of mine many, many years ago, kind of commented that, you know, life will tap you on the shoulder a few times, and give you a couple, you know, warning shots. And if you don’t listen, you get the knockout punch. Yeah. And so, in my life, I’ve tried to avoid the knockout punch. I don’t want to be knocked out. Yeah. And so I tend to keep a very high awareness of like, what’s what’s going on in try to be more aware? And so. So that’s one piece of advice, I guess, is to pay attention to those taps on the shoulder and take action back to one of the statements you share. So well, let’s you know, as men, we have the ability to do that. And directing that in the right place is important. And now, especially if I start to feel the tap on the shoulder, I try to pay attention and take action. Yeah. To correct whatever needs to be corrected,

Doug Holt  27:25  

which is great advice. Great advice. Oh, man, thank you so much for being here. It was an honor for you to come meet my family. Be here at The Ranch again, and just to see you and I’m so excited for everything that’s going on for you and your family.

Matt Euler  27:36  

Thank you so much, Doug. And, it’s been an honor for me as well. And I’m so grateful to be part of the program here.

Doug Holt  27:42  

I love it. Gentlemen, as we always say, in the moment of insight, take massive action as Matt says, if you feel that tap on your shoulder, whatever it is, and your five territories, yourself, your health, your wealth, your relationships, or your business. Take heed right because the second tap may come but as Matt was saying, the third tap, that might be the knockout punch, and you don’t want to be laid out doing that. So don’t go from podcast to podcast or show to show. Take these insights. Now. Grab a journal write down something you got from Matt’s journey. To me, Matt is a shining light of hope at the end of the tunnel. He put in the work, and he’s getting the results at the end. So guys, do yourself a favor. Take action. We’ll see you next time on the TPM show.