How To Make Your Wife Feel Sexy

Episode #354

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Episode Transcript

Doug Holt  0:00  

Catch your wife doing something sexy. Whatever it may be, those yoga pants can make your ass look amazing, something along those lines, or man love it the way your hair blows in the wind. Whatever guys, wherever you’re in that relationship, go to the extreme you feel comfortable in. Don’t go from zero to 100. But if you’re at 70, push it and get there. Compliment her on her sexiness. Do it every single day, find out something she’s doing sexy and just compliment. Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host, Tim, The Powerful Man Matthews. What’s going down, brother?

Tim Matthews  0:42  

Very well. Yeah. 

Doug Holt  0:50  

That’s great. Now I know you are visiting family right now still doing this show, which I appreciate, and I know you got family walking in and out in the background. Are you still showing up? I mean, it’s part of real life. I got kids upstairs and in the house running around, and most of the guys that listen to the show are dads, and all the guys who listen to the show have families. Whether it be their parents still around, or like you’re visiting,  then your hometown, where you’re from and leads, and so you’re an entrepreneur, and that’s part of the game. Here I am on the west coast of the United States, and you’re in the UK, and there’s a time difference. So you maintain your cool, man, always good to see.

Tim Matthews  1:34  

Good, I’m pleased, and we’ve been working out most of the time, which is nice.

Doug Holt  1:39  

Good for you. Well, that’s always a good thing. Well, let’s Tim, we don’t have much time. I know you got a call with a coaching call with some guys in the inner circle in a few minutes. But I want to jump into the topic that we talked about briefly in the last podcast. So guys, if you haven’t heard, the last podcast we’re talking about is when women or your wife, in particular, is withholding sex from you. She’s using it as a weapon against you in the marriage. One of the topics of conversation that came up was, well, how do you make your wife feel sexy and so we’re going to dive into that here real quick on how you can do it, and I’ll set the stage here, Tim, and I’ll kick it off with you given the first tip here. But guys, this is one of the most common things that my wife has a coach for married women talks about is a woman’s desire to be needed and desired not to use the same word again, but a woman’s just internal need to be desired and seen by her man can’t see her in the way that she needs to. She’s going to seek that validation outside of the relationship. So Tim, let’s kick it off. What can a guy do to make his woman feel desired? And sexy? 

Tim Matthews  2:50  

Hit her most technique.

Doug Holt  2:52  

There you go. Boom. Yeah, that is the best way, man. It is. By far the best way of doing it. There’s no doubt.

Tim Matthews  3:02  

Sweet next one, but in terms of podcast episodes on that one, so guys go back and search them. So I think this is the episode for us to dive into the mechanics of that. That’s a great one. Nick, your turn?

Doug Holt  3:15  

Yep. What I call pinging P.I.N.G pinging. I got this from a business mentor of mine in my 20s when I started one of my first companies and what he said is Pavlov’s dogs. We ring the bell, the dog salivates. Because over time, you get the story. I’m not going to go over the whole analogy because everybody knows that story. But catch your wife doing something sexy and common. Whatever it may be. Wow, those yoga pants can make your ass look amazing—something along those lines. Or, Ah, man, I love it the way your hair blows in the wind, whatever, guys, wherever you’re at in that relationship go to the extreme that you feel comfortable in. Don’t go from zero to 100. But if you’re at 70, yeah, push it and get there but compliment her on her sexiness and do it daily. Do it every single day. So in business, my business mentor had a challenge for me and said, ping your staff five times a day. Catch them in doing something you want them to do, rather than criticizing them. So the same thing with your wife. So at least once a day, compliment her sexiness, find out something she’s doing sexy and compliment it.

Tim Matthews  4:36  

Hmm, I love that one. The third one takes charge of getting her back into femininity. For example, let’s say that you have kids and come in from work, and she has been in sweats all day looking after the kids. Maybe she’s got breast milk on her top, and she’s just not feeling very good and, yeah, she’s been like that for a few days, maybe she’s tired. Because you didn’t take charge of it to the kids and say, Hey, good run her, a bath, maybe book her an appointment at the spa, whatever you want to do, to the notion, Joys, that she isn’t going to do for herself because she’s sacrificing self-employed and is lost. She may have said, she’s going to do some things, and maybe she isn’t to the Leaderman book, that thing for bank, make the appointment, take care of the kids, and make it so that all of her concerns would be taken care of I with the kids on with the house, whatever it is. So she can go and enjoy that experience, stress-free users. Those three keywords, I’ve got this, and that will give a lot of confidence. So she can relax and enjoy it.

Doug Holt  6:03  

Love it. Another thing you guys can do is do something active with her. Do something that will allow her to feel more active, and I’m going to couple this with when you’re taking care of your leadership role, whether it be food or anything else, it allows her to start making it easier for her to make healthy choices. Right, so a lot of times, we’ve heard this from many guys, and I’ve heard it from a lot of women in my past owning a high-level Fitness Studio, because they want to feel like they’re on the road to being sexier. Everybody feels frumpy. If you’re sitting around your sweats, you ate pizza last night, drink beer or nachos, or whatever it is. That’s what I did, and not really, but then you don’t feel; you don’t feel as sexy. It’s shitty food, and it’s going to mess with your chemistry and biochemistry in your body. It’s just not going to make you feel sexy, feel fat, inflamed, etc. So taking that out of the equation makes her feel as if she’s moving her butt will make her move her body. She feels that the body’s movement and a couple of other things are happening emotion; you’re going to move emotions through her. But when she feels like she’s going to be getting on the track to looking sexier. She’s going to be sexier. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing? Like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it. I get it. Go over right now to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus to discover the system that other businessmen just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies of ten men just like you who have found the solution and found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Tim Matthews  8:05  

They’re nice, I’d say as well. Whatever format it is, whether you guys stay in or take the lead on it again. Now, this one can involve both of you guys. So, Doug, you did this recently. You realize that babysitters are the problem, so you interviewed to hire three that way. The woman turned up. All three didn’t set up at the same time, guys, but you got two backups. So to eliminate all the stress is taking care of finding a babysitter, finding a restaurant, maybe making it the restaurant that she loves to go to pick out something to wear, give us some cash to get something she loves, and take charge with it and make it a great evening. That’s a lot about her, but she also dresses up well. Uh, you dress up well. Make sure you’re working out. You look good. Have you had, and that’s by default going to make her feel sexier because she’s going to be around and remembering why she was attracted to you in the first place.

Doug Holt  9:13  

Love it. The next thing you could do, guys, is compliment her publicly. So compliment her as your woman publicly. So Facebook, Instagram, those are easy ways of doing it. You can do it via text messages on a text message chain with friends. But doing it in a place where she is seen as valued and desired in front of her peers is big, big, big, big. We talked about this with dopamine and serotonin in a previous podcast. Still, you’re going to release chemicals in our brain that neurologically will allow her to feel better about herself. Which part makes her feel sexier.

Tim Matthews  9:53  

Hmm, the clean slate let her.

Doug Holt  9:55  

The triadic connection. I love it. Yup, It is.

Tim Matthews  9:58  

The triadic connection. Yes, one of the pieces of the Clean Slate Method. The reason why that will make it feel sexier is that we’re in the process of you writing and delivering that there’s a lot of vulnerability that you will express. We’re coming from a very strong place. There’s a lot of ownership that you will take, and also in the process, you’ll be seeing her a great deal, and how the impacts of your action will show the impact that your actions might have had on him as well, which is very important.

Doug Holt  10:33  

I love it, and without just throwing a myriad of things out here, Tim, we go over and over again. What I want to go back and emphasize, guys, is I would almost say that so far, these are in order of the degree that they’re going to work and so in my opinion, if you’re going man, I need to start somewhere. Start with the Hidden Motives Technique. The second one starts with pinging. Do those little things, those two, even if you start with those two, that’s good. That’s where you want to go. Once you’ve nailed down those, start going with the other things like date, night, etc. I think that’s going to be important. Now, of course, you’ve been trying to do them all. But it’s like exercising, and you have a start with the basics and get those mastered first. The last one that I’m going to throw on the table, and I’m respectful of your time, Tim, because I know you have a conversation coming up with many great guys, is looking out and making sure that you’ve activated. We talked about this, the deactivated versus activated the nice guy syndrome versus the benevolent alpha. 

And why this helps your wife feel sexy is that she knows you’ve got stuff and activated benevolent Alpha Man. We call The Powerful Man, that guy, that gentleman can take control of things, which thus allows her to slip more into her femininity and, if she is a woman, can essentially be with a guy. Her man is a man, that’s an alpha male, that’s a powerful man. What does that say about her? Right? It says many great things about her, and that’s going to make her feel sexier. That’s going to make her want to have sex a lot more, too, because she will be with you. Guys, you want to start with those first two but you gotta be activated. You got to be in the activated state. You can’t be in deer mode. I know many of you are trying to get into deer mode, and you slip back into it, get it,  where we were trained as boys and came up as men didn’t know any better. But this works because you’re activated. She knows she’s got a man. It’s going to end a lot of arguments and things that are coming out of there. Imagine having a sort of leader, a real leader in the relationship, and she’s not going to question many things. She’s going to trust you, and when she trusts you, she can slip into her femininity, and this is where you can use a Hidden Motives Technique, if he’s pinging or right talking about her ass, looking good in those yoga pants, or whatever it is for you. That’s where these things add up and pay dividends over time.

Tim Matthews  13:11  

I love it. Yeah, and we’re in order because obviously, we run down the ones that were most prominent in our minds. So I love that you pick that out, certainly in order. 

Doug Holt  13:22  

Yes. Gentlemen, the key here is taking action. A sexy woman will feel sexy. Gosh, that’s just awesome. All of us want our wives to look at us with admiration, respect and when she’s feeling sexy about herself, and she’s able to take that sexual energy and turn it towards you, her man, life is good. Everything seems to be better in the world when this is happening. So guys, wherever you take, take some action. I’m going to ask you guys to go over to the Facebook group; it’s a free Facebook group. It’s a private community, meaning just people can’t even see that you’re in this group. You can only see it. About 2000 business owners in there are all married or separated, depending on their situation, but they’re all in there working together to get through there, and I want to know which one you’re using and how it works for you. So get over there, let me know you can tag myself, tag Tim in that message, but quite put a post in there and share how it’s working for you. We’d love to see it. In the meantime, guys, whenever you do, take massive action. That’s the key here to being a powerful man to being an activated man, and we’ll see you next time at The Powerful Man show.