It’s In The Details with Franco Burrows

Episode #333

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Episode Transcript

Franco Burrows  0:00  

When they realize that something isn’t right for them that they start going on here to that global look around, and maybe they speak to friends and family, but a lot of men tell us nobody really around me has got the answers or necessarily, there’s no lot of good role models around me for great relationships. So what do I do? I start reading up on it, I find things like the love languages, or maybe they tried counseling. There’s hundreds and hundreds of books on relationships. I was helping a lot of people with their health issues but wasn’t able to help myself.

Doug Holt  0:00  

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I’m your host, Doug Holt, with my co-host Franco burrows. Franco, how are you doing, brother?

Franco Burrows  0:10

I’m doing okay and doing okay, as we were talking, now flying? No. I’m having some wins. I’m having some losses at the moment. Working through some, some health issues. We’re going to get into that. But yeah, overall, things are moving in the right direction. And I’ve got a lot to be grateful for.

Doug Holt  0:30  

Nice, awesome. Well, Franco is our Welsh, Superman, The Powerful Man he so Franco story for the guys that haven’t heard the podcast where we introduce Franco Franco is one of the advisors, I had the benefit of being present at The Alpha Reset in which we were in New Hampshire. And went through The Activation Method. He went through The Alpha Reset and then on to The Brotherhood. And he said, hey, look, you know, I’m a business owner, I’m going to give up my business because I want to serve more men, so they have the experience I have. And as all of our advisors are alumni, Franco is one of the kings that’s in there. And if you’re in my Facebook group, guys, there’s no doubt that Franco’s wisdom has benefited you that he shares in there, which he does quite often. So Franco, so good. Oh, also, the second-best table tennis player in The Powerful Man as well. So Franco, thank you so much for joining us today.

Franco Burrows  1:26

As it stands, yeah, I mean, it’s, you know, I can remember I read it now, there was a guy in either North Korea or Vietnam, he was a POW. And he was like a golf player. And because all you had to do all day was just think about playing golf. He never made any bad shots in his head, you know. So that’s me recalling it. Made them part table tennis shots. So my preparation has been perfect. They came back and beat me this time. You know,

Doug Holt  2:00  

nice. Nice. That was a fun game in Morocco that we had. So it’s good. Lots of fun experiences. But Frank, let’s talk about what I thought; what’s going on with you is relevant right now. So can you explain that to the guise of what’s happening?

Franco Burrows  2:15

 Yeah, so long story short, in 2004, I was in Australia, I became ill with pneumonia, which is strange to get in Australia, you know, you think of getting pneumonia in or when you’re cold, it was like a really hot place. So and then off the back of that, I developed what they called chronic fatigue syndrome, which is a vague illness, mysterious illness, characterized by fatigue, pain, loss of a lot of weight, blah, blah, blah. Similarly, it’s really to what they call in this long COVID I don’t know if you’d call it that in the US, but it’s a malaise that hangs around after a viral infection or whatever, but I went to the doctors, you know, six months later. Still, they would just sound hang tight. Hopefully, we’ll get back. We can’t do anything for you. So I did want a lot of people to do in that situation. I started doing my research, you know, and read voraciously on the internet by inbox literally. I would say read about 500 books on health and well-being and that kind of stuff. And not just in that, I mean, I had to look at everything affecting my energy. So is it relationships? Is it my past? Is it this is it that is if what I’m eating is my lifestyle? Is that my environment? So I went down the rabbit hole in a nutshell, and I tried much stuff that didn’t work. I came across a lot of quacks. But I also Yeah, I found some really good stuff that worked, you know, some universal principles of health. You know, stuff that we use inThe Powerful Man today which is awesome. And yet, I got myself much improved. I would say I don’t know somewhere between 60 and 80% better. And then I thought, well, the last 20% 30% whatever it is, is going to be in my head. I declared myself better. And there we are, back into my normal life. I’ve been ill for A long time. 

So I threw myself into my business because I’d have a long time to think about what I wanted to do and the impact I wanted to make on the world. So fast forward to two years ago, I’ve had some ups and downs, like any thought any business owner, I mean, I’m guessing you’ve added yourself that I call it business owner burnout. Sure. Now, you might be doing 60 70 80 hours a week, you think, well, it’s natural that I’m going to be burning out. And, and it is. But two years ago, then I found that I just wasn’t recovering from these burnouts. And that I was getting sort of back down that old road of, you know, chronic fatigue again. So, thankfully, you know, having found The Powerful Man, again, we work on all aspects. But having gone through The Brotherhood, and, you know, we still keep each other accountable on the team for all our routines and looking after ourselves and being in the best shape we can. And I had to admit that I just wasn’t right. So I went back down the rabbit hole. But thankfully, science has moved on, you know, the treatment for these sorts of things has moved on, and I did a comprehensive blood analysis. Okay. So finally, I got a diagnosis. All this time, it was my liver, that wasn’t picked up by, you know, we have it in the UK, the National Health Service, which is meant in many ways is great, but they arrange for, from what I can tell, anyway, they arranged for what’s healthy means that you’re not dying, yet. 

Your liver is functioning, you’re not going to die today or tomorrow. But that doesn’t mean you’re not anywhere near the optimum health range. And that’s, that’s what this blood test uncovered. So anyway, I got a great diagnosis. And I’ve got a plan and am working with people now to fix it. And I feel good about it, you know because this has cost me a lot. I mean, I haven’t been able to have a successful relationship; I can work. But I’m not able to live as full a life as I want. You know, and you’ve seen me at times when I’ve been on form, and other times are not as on form, and I just have to manage that, you know. So it just got me thinking anyway, it’s it. There are many parallels between my situation and men that we speak to every day because when they realize that something isn’t right for their marriage. What do they do? They start going on the internet, do what I did it’s like, well, you look around them. And they say, well, maybe they speak to friends and family. But many of the men tell us well, nobody really around me has got the answers or necessarily, there’s not a lot of good role models around me for great relationships. So what do I do? I start reading up on it.

Doug Halt 7:33

Yep,

Franco Burrows 7:34

I find I find things like, what is it? Love languages? Or maybe they tried counseling? Or, you know, there’s all these hundreds and hundreds of books on relationships out there, isn’t that?

Doug Halt 7:46

Yep.

Franco Burrows 7:47

And I was like that with health fights. I had built up a good bank of health knowledge. I mean, I already came from a sports background. So the Sports Science degree, and so I was helping many people with their health issues, but I wasn’t able to help myself because I haven’t got to the heart of it. Yeah. You know. And same in relationships, same with the men will come to us now, business owners. Yeah, they might be like me in the sense that they might; they might add the specific issue I had with my liver. But yeah, a lot of them are suffering from burnout. And yet, there’s also things in marriage, which are broken, as well. And I don’t know about you, but I think what’s broken, what you know, what needs fixing in one marriage may not be the same thing in another marriage.

Doug Holt  8:37  

Yeah, and that’s interesting when you talk about it. It also really is a big difference, right? We were joking around about table tennis. You could read a book on table tennis, and go. Okay, I think I get it. Still, until you play, it’s a big, big difference, and having somebody be a good coach, right, actually takes you step by step and looks at you and goes, No, no, it’s not, you’re holding the paddle wrong or the spin on the ball or anticipated this way. It’s a world of difference. And I think a lot of I’ve been guilty of this Franco where I will digest content, right audiobooks, and books, like water, and I’ll get so much almost information overload, but it’s an actual act of it and shortening the distance of time by having somebody guide you, and that’s what you’re doing. Now. You’re having a professional guide that’s got proven results. And that’s night and day.

Franco Burrows  09:33  

Absolutely. That’s a good example one of the practitioners are working with, by, as you know, we’re all invested in getting our infrared saunas at the moment Tim’s got one I just bought when you bought one. So she said, she said, don’t use it, don’t use it for a month, we need to finish this process. Now. Everything I read says that infrared saunas are going to help me. And she said, Yeah, they will help you. But you need to do this first. Yeah, so that’s a classic example. It’s like, well that that one thing you’re doing may be an important element of what you need to do. But there may be an order to it, like baking a cake or recipe isn’t that you know, yeah. And I remember reading things on the internet on our, it’s that it’s, it’s this supplement that I need. And then I would spend, maybe, I don’t know, 100 pounds on supplements, or be all excited, the supplements are going to come through the door. And then, after a month or two, unlike hasn’t helped. And ironically, the other practitioner I’m working with recommended a lot of the supplements that I identified 15 years ago, but they’re in a completely different combination. And there’s other things that were missing. So I see it as like, a jigsaw puzzle, you know, it’s like, what are the missing pieces for you and your health in your relationship? I think maybe some of the big ones in the relationships are connections. Leadership is a big one, isn’t it?

Doug Holt  11:13  

Yes.

Franco Burrows 11:14

resentment, I think, is probably one of the other big ones. And the others.

Doug Holt  11:19  

Respect is a big one and seen a lot.

Franco Burrows 11:23

Respect. Yeah.

Doug Holt  11:25 

Yeah. And it’s how you obtain these in a way that works for you kind of like what you’re talking about the combination of the supplements, you know, it’s these subtleties that are important. It’s not the 100 pounds in your just use your example. That’s okay. It’s not the 100 pounds, that’s the issue, right? It’s 15 years, right? That’s Yes, that’s what you can’t get back, you’ll, you’ll make 100 pounds, you know, today, or whatever. And that’s not the issue, even if it was 10,000 pounds, that, you know, you put a price on 15 years. And if we can keep using the analogy of marriage, and I know this from my marriage, you know, when it’s hard, you know, you can’t get that time back. You just can’t. You can’t get next last week back of fighting and not having sex and not being connected, right. And so that’s where, you know, some like yourself, you’re investing in yourself with time. And that’s, you know, everybody knows it’s a dividend that pays you back over and over and over again. And you’re compressing time. And that’s the most precious resource we have. 

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Franco Burrows  12:26  

Absolutely, yeah. And it’s once you’ve got, I think, once you’ve got the big pieces in place, okay, I need to do this, I need to do this, this and this, to say you’ve got three or four pieces through in your jigsaw. And then it’s really about the details, isn’t it? It’s one thing to have an idea. And we speak to men a lot on this, and they say, okay, right, I need to go away and do this great, but they think they’re going away and working on something. But are they working on it? Do they have a process? So it’s like, all right, I need to be more connected to my wife. So then they focus on the way they would connect with their wife, for example. Yep. But as we know, and Tony right, I didn’t always know this because I used to make the same mistake. Sure. But the connection can only really be measured by how connected she feels. As well as I’ll connect with it and not whether I feel I’m doing it, and I ticked off that box. Oh, yeah. No, I have. I appreciate that. I have done so. Yeah, there’s a whole process around it to be learned. And, you know, it’s like when I got I got my results. Great guy that the guy I’m working with. You know, he’s one of the top men in the world. And he talked me through it in detail. Okay, talk me through my results in detail. In the second section, he’s given me my plan, okay? And then it’s like, well, that’s, that’s not going to get me there, what gets me that end is number one meeting and action on the plan. And number two, me getting stuck and saying shit, what do I do now. And then I get back to him, and we get on the call again. And then he gave me another piece that was missing, or I didn’t realize some detail, some nuances that didn’t apply to me. Or that does apply to me. So it’s, for me, it’s the engagement in a process. And the process needs to be usually with someone guiding you or at least supporting you through it, someone who’s been there with other people who have been in the opposite position, and they’ve taken you to where you want to be. Unless you can think of another situation where people will do that, I can’t think of I can’t do it without that.

Doug Holt  14:56 

No, No, I can’t think of it at all. And, you know, it’s, you know, in your former career, you know, you taught, basically taught footballers, or we say soccer players, you know. They come to you not because there’s nothing you’re, you know, in theory, they can go to YouTube and watch videos and drills and things like that, yeah, but they’re not going to progress, maybe they’ll progress more than they would have not watching those videos. But they came to your Academy, and they came to work with you for a couple of reasons. One is they’re going to improve exponentially at a very much faster pace. But two, you’re also in the conversation, right? They’re surrounded by other kids and guys who played in football, and they’re going to get a lot better. And part of that just being in the conversation, right. And with your health care practitioner, as you said, you can follow up with him. And there’s nuances, there’s also things you just forget, right, we listen to podcasts, we go, Oh, that’s a great insight. And then, you know, the alarm goes off somewhere, someone calls you the doorbell rings, whatever that insight floats away into, into the atmosphere or whatever, and you miss it, and you’re not able to take action. Whereas with you, you have a coach, or you know, coming to practice, your coach will remind you of those little nuances that you forgot.

Franco Burrows  16:15 

Yeah, it’s a new one. For me, it’s the nuances and the breadth and depth of knowledge and skill and experience you need to be successful. You know, I mean, most, for example, in as you say, in my sport, soccer, as you call it over there. Football, as we call it, over a year old most kids now, if their parents are supportive, are going to realize you need to get a lot of touches on the ball. Right? So we had one, dad, he would turn up to sessions and matches, and he would have a clicker. Is he getting enough touches on the ball? If he’s clicking on, you know, and, you know, and it was great because he was, he was making sure that side of things was covered. And that kid made it his Pro. Right? This shows that if you do something with enough quality, enough repetition, because that’s the other thing, isn’t it? It’s doing it, but then you gotta do it again. When I think of dual roles many times, it took me to learn some of the things we learned in The Activation Method in The Brotherhood, and it’s probably one of the most powerful things was the repetition. And like you saved, being reminded and doing it over and over. And then you might forget, and then you see someone else or play in it, you think shit, yeah, that’s, that’s what they need to be doing. But also, I’ve seen it a lot in football, where a kid will have all the skill with the ball. But then he gets to a team. And then they’re at such a level where, you know, especially in the pro clubs where I was working, everybody’s got skill. So that’s not what sets you apart, then it’s a mindset or social skills, you know, feeling that you can deal with big-name players, you know, you’ve been invited to train with the first team. And can you deal with these big personalities? Do you believe deep down that you’ve got it? To take their place? Yeah. And there’s so many kids, and it pains me to see kids go through that whole process and then fall short because they just didn’t have these pieces of the puzzle in place at all. And then I see that a lot with the men we interact with, not all of them. But some guys are studious, you know, they’ve read up on a lot of stuff, but it’s like, you’ve got a missing piece there. Or maybe you don’t have any missing pieces, but you’re just not going through it in enough detail so that those pieces are fitting together.

Doug Holt  18:45

Well, yeah, and things change, right? So, a common thing or reason some guys, you know, they go through the program, if they go with guys that and guys come into the program for different reasons right now the majority guys are coming in to save their marriage, you know, without having to go to therapy and do all that BS. And once they go through the program, oh my gosh, everything’s amazing. Again, my wife admires me we’re having amazing sex one guy, you know, like, the guy we joke about The Brotherhood‘s you know went from not having sex in a year to have, you know, his wife taking advantage of five times a night, you know,

Franco Burrows 19:21  

like, I’m not a piece of meat at all

Doug Holt  19:25  

Like, come on, as you brought me, which I’m sure a lot of guys like, wait, I’d like to have that problem. But then, you know, their wife will change, they’re going to change business, they dive back into things, their strengths. And many guys stay in the program because they’re able to be in the conversation, right? You’re talking to other men. We’re business leaders who have children or don’t, you know, some guys don’t, but most guys have children, most guys, you know, are still married, and they’re able to be in that conversation. So as new things come up, whether you call them shit tests, or fitness tests, or whatever, new things come up, these guys now can navigate those waters and go through it. And I think as men, we assume things are going to be static. Right? Cool, fix the problem onto the next one, right? And that’s not the way it works doesn’t work that way in business. Could you imagine guys listening to this? If you’re a business owner, could you imagine just creating one advertisement for your business and saying, Okay, I’m done? I created an advertisement in 2003. It’s a flyer.

Franco Burrows 20:29  

In the school Hall,

Doug Holt  20:30  

You put up the school Hall at a coffee shop. And I never have to advertise my business again. No, it’s not the way it works. It’s an ever-changing environment. Your relationship is even more, so your marriage is even more so than your business. And like a good gardener, it needs constant weeding, constant tending weeds will pop up in your marriage, and you got you to have to identify them and realize what a weed is versus a flower. And then you have to make sure that you not only pull up those weeds, but if you’re a Master Gardener Franco, and you know this if you’re a master gardener, you don’t even let the weeds grow in the first place. Right. And that’s how you know you’ve gotten it. But that does take knowledge and experience. And constant attention to the situation doesn’t have to be hard. You were fun. And your challenge could be, you know, trying to get enough energy like you are and this other guy. So if your wife pulls you in, you know, to have sex five times, hey, you’re able to perform the rest of your duties the next day.

Franco Burrows  21:29  

On-Demand. Yeah.

Doug Holt  21:29

Awesome, Frank. I mean, your story is? Well, one is I’m so glad that you’re feeling better. And you’re on the right path. I know the guys listening to the guys in the Facebook group; they get to interact with you. Guys, if you’re not in the Facebook group, make sure you get over there. There’s an amazing man; guys like Franco are in there too. You are just helping guys out. I mean, that’s all it is; it is about delivering value and having great conversations that move things forward. It’s an amazing group of over 2000 guys in there right now. All business owners like yourselves.

Franco Burrows  22:00  

There’s a lot of support there. Now, there’s a lot of men who are all in there for the right reasons. You know, they want to get answers for themselves, but they want to help other men as well. So it’s great, it’s a great atmosphere. It’s a great, great source of support for men.

Doug Holt  22:18  

It is, and we just released a training in there yesterday, which I think will gala guys are going to get a lot of insight from that just explains why what the real problem is in a lot of the relationships that we’re seeing, going through, especially coming out of COVID as things open up—and getting in there. Well, guys call to action here right away is, you know, one is you got to get over the Facebook group and then at least let Franco know what you thought about his story and his to him taking the time to be here with us today. But two guys, if you find yourself in a situation that frankly, you’re digesting, what, 500 books, that’s crazy, you know all kinds of content on a subject that you’re trying to solve, and it’s not working for you. It’s time to do something different, right? It’s time to try something different. Or you don’t have to go through The Activation Method but do something different. Just try something different to allow yourself the opportunity to get to the other side, get to the other side, whether it’s your health, your relationship, your business, do something to shake things up because you can’t get back that 15 years or that you can’t get back that two months. And those of us have little kids, you know, we get to see it exponentially because kids change so fast. So guys, make sure you’re taking action. Franco, thanks so much for being here with us, man. It’s always always a pleasure. Spend a little time with you, my friend. You always brighten up my day and my world. And I’m looking forward to seeing you, whether it be in Morocco again or someplace else in the world, our next event, and seeing what you got in store for me with the Swanzey serve. The on the table tennis match anywhere where there’s a table tennis table.

Franco Burrows  23:49  

I’ve got my sweatbands ready, you know I’ve got. I’ve got everything.

Doug Holt  23:47  

it’s awesome. So guys, Well guys, as always, get any insight to take massive action. Right, That’s the key here. We always want you to take action and make it a great week. We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man show.