Episode #957
What happens when a man hits his limit… and decides not to fold?
In this episode, I sit down with Eric and Weston—two guys who went through the Alpha Reset and came out the other side different men. Now? They’re giving back and helping other men do the same.
We get into what brought them to The Powerful Man, how their marriages shifted, and what they really discovered about themselves along the way.
Weston opens up about how hard it was to actually connect with his wife—even though the love was there. And Eric? He was ready to walk away from 25 years of marriage, hoping a new car or a bigger paycheck would fix the emptiness. (Spoiler: it didn’t.)
Here’s what you’ll hear in this one:
-
What finally got these guys to stop pretending everything was fine
-
The internal tug-of-war a lot of Christian men feel in marriage
-
Why being truly seen by other men changes everything
-
What it’s like to walk into a Reset one guy… and leave someone else entirely
-
How volunteering after the Reset brought even more clarity and growth
Truth is, most men are silently struggling, thinking they’re alone. They’re not.
This episode dives into what happens when you drop the guilt, shame, and anger—and finally lead from a place of honesty and strength. You’ll see why so many men say the Alpha Reset was the turning point. Not just for them, but for everything.
.
Hungry for more?
Head over to our BONUS page for special access to some of the deeper tactics and techniques we’ve developed at The Powerful Man.
Also listen on:
Transcription
Eric 0:00
I would say for me, it was just pure authenticity. Every man was given the opportunity to really be in their true self. And from that, it was really unique, because to see the process just affect each guy—I don’t know—it was just so special and like it was tailored for them individually, even though everybody’s so uniquely different.
Doug Holt 0:43
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the TPM Show. Guys, you’re gonna want to stick around for this entire episode. I got two of the greats here with me, joining me in the TPM studios and at the TPM Ranch. We are fresh off an Alpha reset. If you don’t know what that is, The Alpha Reset is our flagship experience where men come in one way, and I’ll just say—they leave another. It is a life-changing experience. You can ask any man that’s been through it. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but literally, talk to any man that’s been through it.
Well, we have two graduates of The Alpha Reset who’ve graduated from it, have been into The Brotherhood, and now have come back to volunteer to give back. So please welcome Eric and Weston. Guys, thanks for being here.
Weston 1:25
Yeah. Thank you, Doug.
Eric 1:26
Thank you, Doug.
Doug Holt 1:27
Yeah. I’m really excited. I just see the glow coming off you guys and the high. And so the whole event is done—this is kind of checkout day, if you will—and we’ll dive into the Alpha reset. But for just a second, Weston, I’ll start with you, and then I’ll ask you, Eric. Just—can you tell me a little bit about how you found TPM and what your journey was?
Weston 1:46
Yes. My journey was looking for something—to the connection between me and my wife, the emotional connection. I was looking for something to span that gap and to bring that together. And so I got to searching, and Doug has set it up to where, when I started searching, I came across this, and then I checked it out. And that was my journey. It has really made a difference in my life.
Doug Holt 2:21
That’s awesome. Were there any surprises along the way?
Weston 2:28
Oh, yeah, there’s lots of surprises. You know, being a Christian man—
Yep. I felt like there was a way to be a Christian with my wife and my relationship. We loved each other, and we knew it—we both knew it—but there was a breakdown of communication. And to understand the emotions that go on is incredible.
Doug Holt 2:53
That’s interesting. I remember in my journey with my wife, I remember my wife crying—angry. It was like an angry cry. I’m sure you guys have seen that before with women. But she’s like, How do two smart people who love each other so much can’t figure this out? And I was like, I don’t know, just frustrated. There was no Powerful Man back then, or course, to go through. That’s awesome, man. That’s very beautiful. Eric, how about you?
Eric 3:17
Yeah, it was about a year and a half ago. I was at a crossroads in my life, trying to make some decisions around relationships, and my wife of 25 years—there were just some struggles there that I wasn’t quite sure if I could just continue on with that path. And of course, it’s like, hey, if I had a different person, or if I had more money, or if I had a better car—you know, all the external things—if they were to change, then I could be happy.
In full transparency, Doug, I came across a few of your things, and at first I thought it was corny, actually, sure. And I was just like, hey, you know what? Like, what the heck, you know? And then, as I kept watching, I can’t remember a specific one, but something just really touched my heart, and I was like, wow, this is interesting. So from that, I kept watching and started implementing some of it within the relationship.
And it was like, holy cow. Within like two weeks—I hadn’t signed up for the program yet, I was just watching the podcast—and from that, I started seeing a shift. I realized how needy I was, and I was like, oh my gosh, I can’t believe this. And I stopped being so needy.
And it was like a rubber band effect—just started, as I started going this way, it started drawing her in. I was like, wow. We had just come through some very challenging stuff. From that, I signed up for The Powerful Man, bit the bullet on that and did it, and it has just been transformative from day one.
From my Activation Method, going through that, and after that—I got so much from that. And I just know me—there was a greater version of myself, and I knew that I needed to do more. I needed that accountability. So that’s when I jumped into The Brotherhood, because I knew that I really needed that for myself.
And just to go back a little bit—TPM, the big joke for me, and like Andy, my coach, was like, Oh, we’ve done a lot of work, right? So for me, it was like, you know, I’ve done a lot of work—all these different various veins of stuff—but TPM was like going to the eye doctor and getting the right correction. It kind of brought holistically everything together for me.
And I’ve been able to see myself and my family and just everything in a more clear and better, powerful way.
Doug Holt 5:42
That’s awesome, man. I love hearing both of those stories, and it’s so funny because both your stories resonate with mine, right? I mean, I was the same thing. I was the guy. I’d done Tony Robbins, I’d done all kinds of business seminars, I did—geez, what else did I do—Landmark, I did all of anything I could find.
And they were good, like there are pieces that were good, but it didn’t put the puzzle pieces—I didn’t get the whole thing coming together and collating. So it’s so funny. I always say that we go to these events, right, and every guy you meet you’re like, That’s a cool guy. And I think it’s because we all have similar paths and journeys, right?
I always say, quite frankly, assholes don’t try to better themselves for their families. It’s easier to go on to the next relationship, the next woman, you know, because a girl at Starbucks flirts with me—Why doesn’t my wife? Or whatever else.
It’s funny, because then we all end up in the same place.
Now, what is your Alpha reset? Because both of you guys did an Alpha reset. Both of you did it in the UK, right?
Weston 6:44
Mine was in the UK.
Doug Holt 6:45
That’s right. Okay, trying to remember which one. Weston, when you went through your Alpha reset, can you describe, the best you can, the man that walked in the door and the man that walked out the door? I mean, I know it’s three full days. It’s a short period of time. Can you go back that far and recall?
Weston 7:04
Yeah, life-changing. Walked in unaware and left a lot there. Walked out a free, new lease on life. Like a new view of myself, of my journey. And it’s incredible. It really shifted. Things changed. Dropped that.
Doug Holt 7:32
Awesome. It’s so hard for me not to ask questions about giving things away. It’s one of the beautiful things—we never have asked guys not to say anything. The men, in the eight years we’ve been doing this, have just chosen, almost like Fight Club, that they want the other men to have the experience that they’ve had. So everybody’s just hush hush about it, and everybody says something similar—life-changing or transformational. I love the smile, by the way, just remembering that—day three, right? That’s why I come back on day three.
Eric 8:05
For sure. I mean, coming into the reset, I had been doing some work before, having gone through TPM. I didn’t realize how much guilt, shame, anger that I really had—not just for the people around me, but within myself. And it really just allowed me to get in touch with that side of myself that just really needed that love. Yes.
And from that, I’ve really learned to, one, value and appreciate and know that I am worth loving. And as I grow in that for myself, I’m able to express that throughout all the relationships in my life, personally and professionally.
Doug Holt 8:57
So you radiate it, right? I am. It’s so funny because I remember a long time ago in my journey, my wife and other women told me how big of a heart I have—Oh, you have such a big heart. I wish you’d show it more. I’m like, what? That was so frustrating, right? What the heck do you mean? This is corny. This is, you know, all fluff.
We talked about this big heart. If I have one, I have one, you know—how do you tap into it? And I went on a journey for five years to try to figure that out, and the reset—three days. In my experience working with guys, three days. You know what we get accused of the most? Is being like The Matrix, right? And unplugging them—100%.
Because all of a sudden, you can see yourself with clarity. Like, There’s the guy I’ve been looking for in the mirror, and now I can see him clearly. Now he can show up. The dangerous thing about the reset, in my experience, is you can’t unsee it now.
Eric 9:48
Not at all.
Weston 9:49
You can’t unsee it. It’s a change.
Doug Holt 9:52
Yeah. So if you go back the other way, you’re not going to be a happy man, right? You just kind of know yourself to that key level.
Well, here you guys both are. You’ve traveled, you’ve left your families, your work, to come here—and thank you again. I know I said that last night to you guys, but it’s not lost on me—the sacrifice that you guys put in to come here and give back and pour into these men as they’re going through this experience.
And as you guys know, on the participant side—like going through it—but probably know it even more now, watching the guys at how much the volunteers play such a critical role. And it’s not just the stuff that you guys do. It’s the being, where you’re there and the support. The men lean on you, and in their darkest times, they look up and see those smiles. You know, they’re like, Okay, it’s gonna be okay going through it.
Let’s talk a little bit about your experience. I know you said that you want to say something to a couple guys in your packs. What has been your experience thus far?
Weston 10:49
My experience is—to see it from the other side—is just incredible. Like, I get a different… it helped me in a different way than the actual reset did for me.
And the love—to see everyone’s journey—it’s almost like going through nine different resets myself. Yes, and they’re micro, because it’s not my own journey, but we feel for each one. And you can totally feel it.
So I’m blessed. It’s just incredible to see that energy that comes forward from those guys.
Doug Holt 11:34
Yeah, I mean, any man that steps into this house or in the UK, it takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of courage to step into the unknown and be willing to put your faith in a group of other men that are there, that are going to have your best interests—total strangers. It takes—you know, that’s courage. They talk about vulnerability. A lot of people, you know, I think most of us grew up thinking vulnerability was a sign of weakness, you know, as guys.
And what I’ve come to learn is—if you’re fighting, right, and someone opens themselves up—they’re being that as a show of courage. They’re saying, Hey, look, I’m making myself vulnerable to attack, but I’m strong enough inside that I know I can withstand it.
And seeing those men walk in—and, you know, I met some of them earlier, and they were nervous. They were very nervous—but yet they still did it, which is awesome.
Weston 12:29
And I feel like the volunteers—having been knowing that—they know the volunteers have been through it, yes, gives them courage when they hit their dark moments.
Doug Holt 12:41
Yeah, it definitely does. Well, I mean, you guys are like the big brothers, right? Like, you’ve walked the path ahead of them, and they see the results that you guys have gotten, and they’re like, Okay, I want some of that. I know if I just take one more step, one more step, we can do this.
How about you, Eric? How was it?
Eric 12:58
Gosh, you know, like you said—you’re talking about the men, you got the men—you know, them coming in one way and coming out another. Literally, they look different, don’t they? It is crazy. It is crazy.
And then, you know, just like Weston was saying, you know, there’s like nine—even as a volunteer, you’ve got like your own reset going on. At least I did, from my experience.
And to be able to connect as these men are going through these processes—to just feel my own stuff and just peel back more layers of myself and just allowing myself and actually having the freedom to go there and just really be raw and vulnerable and be able to speak my truth when I see things come up, and encourage the guys and love them right where they’re at.
Doug Holt 13:45
Hey guys, sorry to interrupt this episode, but the reality is, if you are watching or listening to this right now, then you are looking to better yourself, and I applaud you. You’re one of my people, and I want to give you the opportunity of taking massive action.
So if you haven’t joined The Activation Method yet—it’s our flagship program—do what thousands of other businessmen just like you have done, and take action. Be one of the one-percenters that actually does the work and takes action.
There’ll be a link in the description that’ll take you right to a page that’ll just give you more information. There is no obligation. Just go check it out and see if it’s a good fit for you.
All right, let’s get back to this episode.
Eric 14:28
You know, as not being a participant and being a volunteer, there’s a part about serving that just nurtured a different part of me, okay? And it just—it’s kind of indescribable. It’s just—it’s real. I’d say it’s just the fullness of love and being able to give from a place of—it’s not that I had to work it up. It was just—it just came so naturally, just flowing out, to just really be that presence of “I am.”
Doug Holt 14:59
Well, that’s the thing. And I think what a lot of men learn is—I ask a lot of cheeky questions when I run resets. It’s just my sixth sense of humor just comes out, right?
But it’s kind of that idea—you know, you said you had how many kids? Eight? Eight kids? So I ask—it’s a rhetorical question—you had your first kid. Did your heart grow when you had—oh. And then when you had your second kid, did you divide your love 50/50, or 60/40, right? Just grew more. And the third kid, etc.
And I think when we give back and volunteer in a selfless way, that’s just another expression of love, right? And when you give love out, you get it back twice. That’s been my experience.
Anyway, so going through this experience—I always joke that I do it very selfishly, because I get so much more. My turn, right?
Eric 15:48
And then the appreciation for the volunteers that were there when I was there—I mean, Jeff “Honey Badger.” I think he’s got a different name now, but—oh my gosh, it was just him. He was the only volunteer.
Yes, he was cooking and cleaning for everyone, and I was just like, Wow. There were three of us that were helping, and it was still a lot of work. I was wiped out. But just a greater opportunity to just, you know, give thanks.
Doug Holt 16:15
Jeff’s an incredible man. Like, when he comes here, also—you know, I leave and he’s like fixed half the house. He’s like, Did you know you need to check—there’s a filter inside of your dishwasher. Like, what? Things I wasn’t aware of, right? Great man, just like you guys yourselves too.
And you had Gary here with you as well. That’s the—you know, that’s the hard part. You go to—we were in Breckenridge, and there were 46 guys from The Brotherhood there in Inner Circle. And so you’re walking around, there’s even 46 amazing men.
Conversations were all over the place—from sports to business, to guys talking about their kids trying to commit suicide, to real family issues, business issues—but everybody’s there showing up in this manner. It just—it makes you just feel good wherever you’re going, if that makes sense.
I know I kind of put you guys on the spot right before we hit record, but was there an overarching theme for this reset? I didn’t run this reset. So for anybody listening who’s wondering why I’m asking—Mark Haynesworth and Steve Matthews ran it. Was there an overarching theme at all that came up, or anything that came up?
Eric 17:33
I would say for me, it was just pure authenticity. Okay? Every man was given the opportunity to really be in their true self. And from that, it was—it was really unique, because to see the process just affect each guy—I don’t know, just so special and like it was tailored for them individually, even though everybody’s so uniquely different. So, I’ve always found just a wizard.
Doug Holt 18:10
He’s a magician. He’s amazing. And Steve is too. Yes, all of our coaches. That’s the hardest thing, is finding amazing coaches, right, for what we do. That’s probably our biggest constraint, if you look at it as an organization—men like Mark and Steve. But also during your reset, which was—I don’t think it’s ever happened before—there were two other coaches participating. So they were, oh, participants in the reset.
So as someone who’s been coaching for over 20 years, going into that environment, it would be intimidating. I think I’d be nervous that I wouldn’t be my authentic self because I have co-workers there. I have other—I have peers that I’m going through this experience with. But shout out to those guys. They showed up—amazing. I knew they would. Those guys are all-stars too. You know, it’s got to be great for them to sit on the other side, and hard for them to stop coaching other people. That’s the hardest part.
Weston 19:10
Yeah, for me, I would say over the theme for the whole thing—each person had their own journey, very specific to them, and it seemed very diverse, and yet each one comes out with what they needed.
And even a shout out to those coaches that took that step. I know they’ve done tremendous work on themselves, and yet what it gave me is courage, because I know that I have a lot more work to do. And I’m like, no different than anyone else. We’re all in this together. It’s a journey that—like, no matter where we’re at, there’s more to do. And I was like, we’re in this together. This is a—this is—we’re not alone on that journey. And even if these coaches have been coaching for how long, they were willing to step to the line and put in the work and take that step. That was amazing.
Doug Holt 20:09
That really is. I think a lot of us, you know—it’s kind of like we think like, okay, cool, I got it. We think it’s a destination we’re trying to get to. In TPM, we always say the journey is the destination.
Because just like in business, you don’t always—you don’t like, Cool, I’ve mastered business, check. Let’s not have to worry about learning anything new. Your business would falter right away. Or going to the gym once and going, Okay, cool, I’m fit. I never have to go back to the gym again. There’s no next level of fitness or health or wellness.
And when I look at this kind of journey of getting to know yourself, you start to peel back those layers, if you will. Like you guys coming to this event, you’re coming in as volunteers, but you’re also coming in as totally different men than walked in the door at your Alpha reset. So your experience is going to be different, right? Totally. You’re more mature. You know, time has come by. You’ve learned a ton of new things, and now you get to chip away a little bit more.
Eric 21:04
One of the things too—it was so cool to be able to—just as men, at least I have in the past, tend to just kind of be the lone wolf, right? And just as you hear each man expressing their lives—of how familiar or how similar we really all are—and we all struggle with the same sort of things. You know, some of them are super unique, but for the most part, we’re really kind of the same.
Doug Holt 21:31
And the most common thing I hear from the guys is, You know, in my hometown, there’s nobody like this, or there’s nothing. That’s because those guys are all lone wolf again, right? They’re all hiding out in quiet desperation. 100% hiding.
I was at—my son, took my son to STEM night, right? So my son’s really into science. He thinks science is the coolest thing in the world. So we go there. Of course, you meet all the other moms and fathers that are there.
And as you guys know, you walk up to someone and you know you’re meeting their stick man or their mask, right? And there’s no—this is so hard to connect with somebody at that level. I almost want to grab them, just go—just shake them a little bit and kind of go, Dude, it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend that everything’s all right, or something. That’s interesting, interesting to come through.
I’ve also found out at the reset, it seems to me that every guy is there for a reason. And what I mean by that is—I don’t know if it was true for this one—but somebody, somebody that’s attending, needed to attend for the other man to get their result.
And it’s this really unique kind of confluence of people coming together. Somehow, it always works, right? A guy comes in last minute and he says something that another person had to hear to get their change and their shift. I don’t know if that happened in your guys’ resets, but certainly I see it all the time. That happen this time at all?
Eric 22:56
You know, like, I’m just gonna say right at the finish line, you know, something comes up, and some guy happens to speak some of his truth, you know. And then, you know, maybe he’s calling a brother out or something like that. And then that guy just—he finally—then he—it’s like, you just—you see that whole process. You’re like, he’s 90% there, you know. And then right at the last minute, it just shows up. And it’s so cool to see him when the release happens. You can see it physically.
See it 100%. That’s why guys look younger coming out of this. They’re letting go of so much stress, baggage, and stories that we’ve all carried around, right? Here’s a story, and just chipping away.
Doug Holt 23:31
At the story. And once you let that go, it’s an amazing thing. It’s an amazing feeling coming through there. Well guys, thanks so much for coming. I really appreciate all that you guys have done. What we’ve done here, what we are doing for your families and communities. It’s an honor to have you guys here.
Eric & Weston
Thank you. Appreciate it.
Doug Holt
So gentlemen, as I always say, in the moment of insight, take massive action. Here you have two studs—two powerful men, if you will—here just really giving back and sharing their journey and their walk. And they’re doing so because they shine brightly.
And they shine brightly so they can really cast a shadow and show some other men the way out of the tunnel. What I mean by tunnel is—we all go through dark times. We all go through troubled times. You’re not alone, man, I’ll tell you that right away. I go through them. The coaches go through them. Everybody does.
And so by men like these guys shining so brightly, they show you the other side of this. There is hope on the other side. Now, whether you do a TPM program or not, that’s up to you. I just want you to do something. Do something to move yourself forward. If any of this resonated with you, feel free to reach out to our team.
We think what we do is really good. Otherwise, we’d do something different if we didn’t. But hey, it may not be for you, and I’m totally cool with that. I just want you to do something. Do something for yourself, first and foremost, and if you need leverage, then go look at your kids. Do something for your family.
All right, see you next time on The Powerful Man Show.
