Episode #876
Feeling stuck, like you’re spinning your wheels and nothing’s moving forward? What if the answer isn’t in fixing everything around you, but in looking inward and finding the strength you’ve always had?
In this episode, Justin shares his personal journey from chasing outside validation to tapping into his own power. Through his experience at the Alpha Reset, Justin not only grew as a mentor but discovered powerful lessons from the men he was helping. His story proves that real, lasting change happens when you shift your focus to what’s inside.
We dive into:
- Why change starts with you, not with external solutions.
- The impact of letting go and trusting the process—even when it’s uncomfortable.
- How taking care of yourself first improves everything, from your marriage to being a better father.
- Actionable steps to get off the sidelines and start making decisions that truly move the needle.
If you’re tired of just coasting through life and ready to make real changes, this episode will show you how focusing on yourself can lead to stronger relationships, more success, and the kind of life you’ve been craving. It’s time to take that first step.
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Transcription
Justin 0:00
So that’s your choice. So now, this is the moment of insight. Right at the moment of insight, take massive action. You can continue to sit on the sidelines and continue feeling the way that you’re feeling right now, in this moment, or you can make a change. We don’t talk about the things that happen here for a very particular purpose, and if anything, there should be some level of curiosity, like, “Hey, what happens here? Right? What do we do?” So use that to fuel your decision. At minimum, knowing that it’s going to be so much more than that.
Tim Matthews 0:44
So guys, today I’m joined by another amazing man from the movement. This guy has been in the movement for a couple of years now. I had the pleasure of meeting him and having dinner with him the other evening, and his perspectives, his philosophies, his journey, everything has just been incredible. Over the past three days, this amazing man has been pouring his wisdom, his love, his strength, and his spirit into the men going through The Alpha Reset as a way of giving back. And quite frankly, I think what he didn’t realize is it was also a way of growing too because you don’t go through one reset. When you volunteer, you go through 10, 11, however many men are there. So let’s hear from this amazing man. Let’s hear about his journey. Let’s hear about his experience at The Alpha Reset. And let’s hear all his wisdom. This man is Mr. Justin.
Justin 1:42
Thank you, Tim. I appreciate those words, and I appreciate you buying dinner the other night. That was lovely. That was great. It was a nice kind of foundation for the days to come. So it’s great to be here, and I appreciate the opportunity. Thanks for trusting me.
Tim Matthews 2:01
No doubt. Never a doubt, brother, yeah, never a doubt. The growth you’ve had the past two years, the journey you’ve been on—it’s incredible. It was one of the things I was thinking about recently, a few months ago, as we were going through some of the master classes, and just your energy and your presence, and the way you would apply the lessons and the questions you would have, and just everything that goes into the mix of making an amazing guy. You have it, and you had it. And I also remember the time when you didn’t. I wouldn’t say you didn’t think it was always there, but I think it’s very easy for guys to forget that it’s there, and instead of looking inside to find it, they look outside to try and find it. But anyway, the point being, I was very excited to meet you when I knew you were going to be volunteering, not having been able to meet yet, so I was super excited to meet you, and a blast with you on the master classes. Yeah, and you are even better than I anticipated, so it’s a pleasure.
Justin 3:14
I will receive that with love and appreciation because there was a time when I would deflect that, and those days are gone. So just to comment, I knew you wanted to hear about the experience, but just to comment on that—there was a time when it was all external. I mean, all external. I’m not going to get into detail about my story, but I used to use external sources and substances to fulfill an inner need, regardless of the consequences. And there were tremendous consequences for a long, long time. You know, the work we do here, the work on the reset— a lot of that is refining the version of me that’s always existed. It’s always been there. I spent so much time looking outward, meanwhile, it was inward the whole time. So to your point, right? It’s always there. I just had to reclaim it. And it’s a beautiful gift to be part of this experience for a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, you know, 10th time, right? There was a moment—I don’t want to give away too much—but there was a moment yesterday, during day two, later in the day. Mark had said something, and it just hit me. These men are going through things for the first time, and it’s subtle, right? We say 1% better, and it’s hard to measure 1% better. And I know there’s a lot of smart guys in here, and sometimes you see it in the workplace, they’re actually calculating 1% better, right? But for me, the bar is always going to get moved, right? 1% better after 100 days. I’m not perfect. It’s impossible, right? But I continue to elevate and evolve, and that goalpost always moves in a positive way.
And there were things that I haven’t thought about in a long time, in a really long time, and the men that went through this amazing process these last three days reminded me of that, and it just hit me. I just had to thank them, like in the moment, like thank you for going there, thank you for trusting me, thank you for trusting us, thank you for allowing it to happen, and thank you for stepping to the line, because it has allowed me to grow. And though I knew what was coming, it was like I was experiencing it for the first time. Because even the two—I said it in the kitchen before, I’m not going to say it here—but the two exercises from yesterday, I mean, I have chills now just thinking about it. It was so much more powerful for me, and I don’t even want to have to think about how it’s going to come back into my home because it doesn’t need to, like, my heart is so full of love. Like I was texting guys in the movement yesterday, like, “Man, I just love you. I freaking love you.” Like I texted Franco, like, “Man, I just, I love you. Like, I absolutely love you.” And I feel it, and I’ve been feeling it with my kids. And I mean, I miss them like crazy. I haven’t seen them since Tuesday morning, but I know that this was for the men, for TPM, as much as it was for me. And part of your mission, right? You know, 10,000 kids—it just continues to expand, and I’m going to get to be part of that and help these guys through it too. It’s a gift. It’s an absolute gift.
Tim Matthews 6:18
Oh, for sure, brother, it is. You know, I love delivering these and being part of them because you just sharpen the saw. You see myself in every one of the guys’ journeys in one way or another. And as I was saying to you earlier, you know, I’ll finish up whatever process it may be, or whatever day it may be, and I’m getting my journal out, and I’m writing down improvements I can make, and I’m texting my mom, my dad, Amelia, people in my life, the guys, whoever it may be, because, yeah, you just realize, oh, there’s a gap there, there’s a leak there, there’s, you know, there’s an opportunity, essentially, to have more connection, or to just be better and have a better life. So it’s a complete gift.
Justin 7:04
I’m not unique in this area because we all come here for a reason, right? How to save your marriage without talking about it? And I don’t want to say it’s a trick, right? But like, it’s not about the marriage. I mean, it is, but it’s about myself, and that’s the thing I didn’t expect. Going through TAM, right? It’s like, “Oh, okay, how to have sex without talking about it? Oh yes, I want that.” But meanwhile, it’s like, “Okay, but this is where you need to go.” You’re the end, right? Like, yes, that can happen, but you also need to fulfill that inner need. And how do I do that? It’s love, right? You just said it. It’s like opening my heart. And for years, I—I’ll keep it in the “I”—have put blockers for a variety of reasons, right? Trauma, alcoholism, addiction, pain, whatever it might be. And without retraining my subconscious, it’s impossible for me to receive the gifts that are in front of me.
Like, life doesn’t really change. The same things are going to happen. Obstacles are going to come up, good things, bad things. It’s how I respond to them. You know, even as I’m saying it out loud, like going back home tomorrow, like, those things are going to be different because I have this experience to reflect upon because I’m going to remember where these guys were on Wednesday and where I was last April, and everything’s okay. Like, “What if it were easy?” Right? What if it was as simple as love? Love is the answer. It sounds cliché, but it’s really the answer—love myself, be open to receiving it, be open to giving it, and then watch the magic happen. Like you said, the masterclasses, like, that’s hard to do in the beginning. That was for me, like, hard to do, like, you know, be open. Like, “Oh, should I say?” And I told these guys, like, “When your belly barometer is going off, that’s your gut instinct. Say something, right? That’s your moment. That’s your moment of growth and power. Overcome that and get to give your gift of insight and watch it flourish.”
Tim Matthews 9:13
Good point. So, the type of people that are going to listen to this, it’s going to be, one, the men in the movement who are considering volunteering, which I think you’re speaking to really well, and then the other guys. So, we had a program pre-COVID called The Activation Method for Self. I think I told you a little bit about it, which focuses on the self. The Activation Method for Relationships focuses on relationships. Now, The Activation Method for Self culminates in The Alpha Reset. COVID obviously hit, so we couldn’t do The Alpha Reset. So we are now, because of the demand that we have for the resets and the constant requests we get from the guys to allow people they know to be able to do The Alpha Reset without having to join The Brotherhood or The Activation Method for Relationships, we’ve decided to dust off that program, and we are reopening the doors to that program and essentially giving men a way to be able to go through
The Activation Method for Self and get access to a reset without having to be in The Brotherhood and without having to have gone through The Activation Method for Relationships. So those guys are typically guys that are stuck. They feel lost, and empty. So there’s a void inside of them they’re trying to fill, be it with work, substances, whatever it may be. And no matter what they try, they just can’t seem to move forward—spinning the wheels. They’re struggling because they want to pretend to everybody else that they’ve got it all together, and present this facade to the world in front of them, and the more they present the facade, the worse they feel because they know the truth. So what advice would you give to that guy who is considering going through the process and going through a reset?
Justin 11:20
So I was that guy, of course, right? You know that. I know that. And there was a time when I was seeking therapy and counseling and psychotropic drugs to try to change all those things. So I know what that feels like. This experience, because it is an experience, is strategic, you know, strategically designed by you and the rest of the team for a very particular purpose. There is no amount of therapy, there’s no amount of psychotropic drugs, there’s no amount of talk counseling, or even alcohol, whatever, that is going to allow a man to experience what goes on here. Now, what do you have to lose? Listen, I understand the financial aspect of it, right? Obviously, this is not something that is inexpensive. However, I also know somebody that felt the same way as I’ve reflected on my journey, and, you know, my initial investment in The Activation Method and onward—well, I spent a lot of money on stupid shit all the time. All the time, that didn’t do anything for me.
Doug Holt 12:36
Hey guys, sorry to interrupt this episode, but the reality is, if you are watching or listening to this right now, then you are looking to better yourself, and I applaud you. You’re one of my people, and I want to give you the opportunity of taking massive action. So if you haven’t joined The Activation Method yet, it’s our flagship program. Do what thousands of other businessmen just like you have done, and take action. Be one of the one percenters that actually does the work and takes action. There’ll be a link in the description that’ll take you right to a page that’ll just give you more information. There is no obligation, just go check it out and see if it’s a good fit for you. All right, let’s get back to this episode.
Justin 13:18
And that includes, you know, consumerism—just buying things to make me happy. Like, that dopamine hit lasts for a second. So if I add all that up over a period of time, like, that’s tens of thousands, if not more, dollars that I’ve essentially wasted on things that are meaningless. So what’s my power worth? What’s my growth worth? Like, I’ll spend money on fancy clothes, and it makes me feel good on the outside. But what about the inside? How do I go out and get a Gucci jacket to put over my heart, right? Like, well, this is it. And the advice I would give is: staying on the fence is only going to prolong the pain. Nothing changes if nothing changes. What I resist persists. So if I’m resisting because of finances, well, then you’re going to continue down the path, and you’re going to keep buying stupid shit over and over and over again. If I’m resisting because I’m afraid, well, then that’s leading into the fear. That’s the whole point of this—getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
And the longer I wait—I don’t regret waiting to go into The Brotherhood because people were telling me, you know, reset, reset for months and months before I forget it. I just wasn’t ready, right? My time was now, and it all happens for a reason, so I don’t regret that. However, a man watching this that’s on the fence, like, now is the time. Just do it now. If you’re thinking about it, just do it now. At the end of the day, when it is all said and done, I promise you the things that you’re worried about right now, in this moment, as you’re listening to me and Tim talk, you’re not going to care about. Yeah, you’re just not going to care. It’s not going to matter because you’re going to say to yourself, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” I would have paid 10x what it cost to feel this way. So that’s your choice. So now, this is the moment of insight, right? The moment of insight—take massive action. You can continue to sit on the sidelines and continue feeling the way that you’re feeling right now in this moment, or you can make a change. We don’t talk about the things that happen here for a very particular purpose, and if anything, there should be some level of curiosity, like, “Hey, what happens here? Right? What do we do?” So use that to fuel your decision, at minimum, knowing that it’s going to be so much more than that.
Tim Matthews 15:45
Beautiful. Well said. Tell them a little bit about what life is like for you now. That may inspire them as well.
Justin 15:54
Life hasn’t changed, right? Life is still life, right? My kids are going to shit test me. My wife shit tests me, right? I have challenges at work. The difference is that I know I’m not alone, and I know I have a tremendous amount of men that I can reach out to for support. Now, granted, you know part of my story—I’m in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I’ve had that for a long, long time, and I’m very grateful for that, and we have some things in common. However, there’s a lot of things I don’t have in common with them that don’t allow me to fully trust them, right? Going through TAM, The Brotherhood, and The Alpha Reset, of course, the level of trust that develops from heart to heart, man to man, is just incredible. So what’s changed is that I have a tribe. I have a pack of people that I can continuously reach out to just to make sure I’m going in the right direction. Because if you’re anything like me, I always questioned myself, right? I used to, anyway, question my decisions, question my choices, and having a guide, you know, dozens and dozens of guides, you know, and then over time again, that’s more 1% better. And I gain more confidence, right? You know, my Oracle sense continues to strengthen. So my confidence in me has changed. The love I have for myself has changed. Again, I said it before, like on day two, the amount of that last exercise that we do—like I was soaking it. I’ve never felt that in my entire life, like even on my own experience, just standing there and receiving and receiving, I was like, “Holy crap. What is this?” Like, I didn’t want to stop.
So what’s changed is my ability to receive and my ability to pause, my ability to love. And we talked about it a little bit this morning, right? You were sharing the story of one of the former brothers, and that then just pours into all the other territories—self, health, wealth, relationship, business, right, rank them how you will. And it has for me. And again, I want to be clear—like, shit does hit the fan. I am not perfect. This is The Powerful Man, not The Perfect Man. And I’ve also allowed myself to, you know, to feel grace. Like, some of the guys in my pack early on, like it was really hard to just give myself grace. Like, I made a little mistake the other day, Mark looked at me. I was like, “Oh shit.” I was like, “It’s okay, it happens.” Like, it’s not going to be perfect. But the guy two years ago would have beat myself up over this. So what’s changed is that kind of stuff—just the acceptance of life as it comes, the appreciation to surrender to the moments that are just beyond my control, and knowing that I can control the small things—the ARs, the meditations, the cold baths, the walks, whatever it might be—and being okay, knowing that I’m surrounded by guys that all take care of themselves. I’ll say this one last thing—even going away for an extra day, like that was like my first Alpha Reset, that was much, much harder to leave my family for a while, and all my wife’s gonna give me a hard time. She wanted me to go. There was even a part of me, and Franco kind of coached me through it too, like that wasn’t gonna go because I have a lot of trips coming up, but she was still encouraging me to go, like, take care of myself, right? That’s why self is one of the most important ones. Because—and I think you asked that question on a Workplace at some point, and I think I did answer—because self is, for me, the most important, because then all the other ones fall into place, right? Because in the past, it was either business or wealth, and then wealth was due to jealousy because I didn’t have what the other guy had. Now, I have all the wealth I need because I have time, I have energy, and I have love.
Tim Matthews 19:55
Beautiful. Wow. Well, you can see why they call you The Oracle.
Justin 20:05
And, you know, that’s something I still step into. Like, one of the guys was asking me about it the other day, and the experience too. And I’ll just say this—like, I put a little pressure on myself coming in this week because I didn’t want to fail the guys. Like, these are the things that come up. They’re bullshit stories I tell myself. And I imagine even someone like you, right? Even someone like Doug, like, these things still come up, but I just don’t allow it to rule me. All right, it’s a second, five minutes, 10 minutes, all right, just sit with it and just let it go. And, you know, in the beginning, I was like putting a little pressure, and then there was just a moment like, “You know what? Just surrender. You’re here. Everything’s gonna work out exactly the way it’s supposed to.” And, you know, it came up a lot these last few days. So it’s really cool.
Tim Matthews 20:54
So, guys, you’ve heard it from the man himself, The Oracle, Mr. Justin, an amazing man. And I think his advice about getting off the fence is very wise. I mean, where in your life are you sitting on the fence, not committing to either side, but instead playing safe, playing not to lose, and staying stuck on the fence? If you’re on the fence, get off it. Life is too short. You weren’t put on this planet to be average. You were put on this planet to experience greatness. So, guys, we’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man Show.
