Episode #82
Holding back from the things you wanted to say and do will HINDER you from being free from all the stress and anxiety.
You end up feeling trapped within yourself from keeping all the emotions and energy inside because you are afraid that people might judge and see your weakness.
We oftentimes feel frustrated and anxious because we are FIGHTING our emotions.
To gain that peace we seek and break free from the frustration and anxiety, we need to learn to take the first step – which is to surrender.
We work hard, we hustle thinking that if we do this we can make more money, we will become successful and then we can be happy but in reality, we can NEVER BE FULFILLED if we carry loads within us.
The anxiety and frustrations eventually consume us if we do not let it go. Some men do less but get a lot more done because they are free emotionally. They liberate themselves from this anxiety and depression. It is not how hard you work but taking a look at what is happening inside you that is most important.
Invest in personal development or business coaching such as the Alpha Reset. It is not required that you be in a specific position or know anything specific to be involved. What you just need to do is SURRENDER, let go of all the anger and frustrations that you have inside and allow yourself to be coached. Alpha reset is a space where you can express, open up, share your emotions and be seen for the man that you are without judgment.
It is not a surrender of giving up but a surrender of letting go and no longer fighting the pressure, guilt, and shame. It’s time to liberate yourself and enjoy your life without the need to hustle.
What you will discover in this episode:
- The difference between being productive and busy.
- How your business can be suffering by lies you tell yourself.
- Actionable steps to becoming more productive in business and life.
- How to set yourself free of old phrases that are no longer relevant.
- How to shift your belief systems.
- How to get closer to your goals by being productive.
- Operating out of faith and flow not fear and force.
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Episode Script
Tim Matthews 0:00
The way to win the war isn’t to fight; that just takes you further into battle. A way to win this war is to surrender. Because when you surrender, that’s where you open yourself up, and that’s when you’re able to let go of all the shame you’ve been carrying. You’re able to let go of all that anger that’s been building up inside.
Tim Matthews 0:19
Welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man Show. I am your host, Tim, “The Powerful Man” Matthews, with a new co-host on this episode, Arthur Magoulianiti. So Arthur is the head coach, ah, within The Powerful Man Movement, is a phenomenal guy, and I’ll let you introduce yourself a little bit Arthur as a guy, Arthur, give the guys the listeners, the men, the women. A quick rundown of yourself.
Arthur Magoulianiti 0:53
Wow, well, Hello, everyone. It’s awesome to be here on this podcast with the man team. Well, we’re going to start. Well, I’ve been with The Powerful Man since November, as head coach, having gone through the program myself, The Activation Method, The Alpha Reset, and that’s made a huge impact on my life, which has led me to be here now, working with the guys and part of The Powerful Man. I’ve had an interesting career over the last 20 years, 25 years I started my life off from a career perspective as an engineer, electrical engineer working for some blue-chip companies on the corporate ladder moving up there, really good years, then decided I want to work for myself. I left that went to the property did fairly well there, which pretty much set me up to be able to pursue what I loved working with men, helping men and helping to ease the suffering, so many guys are according to the start the cycle of suffering, which I’m very familiar with from things that have happened in my past. So it’s great to be here and do work with amazing guys and side by side with the likes of Tom and Doug and all the other people who help us do what we do.
Tim Matthews 2:13
Yeah, it’s a pleasure to have you. So some of you might be wondering, where’s Doug? This isn’t Doug, your loyal fans to Doug. Yeah, we decided to pivot on this episode to bring Arthur on board because we are just back from another alpha reset. I sound a little bit hoarse. I think Arthur does a little bit too. He’s quite interesting. The entire team is ill right now. Doug’s away, ill, I’m recovering, Arthur is recovering too, and some of the volunteers from The Brotherhood, who wrote The Alpha Reset, came down with something as well. Nevertheless, we’re here to share with you guys the insights that came out of The Alpha Reset, because yet again, it was such a phenomenal experience. Now every time I come back from these, Amelia always says to me, well “how was it?” and every time the best yet, and she’s like, “we can’t say that every time, come on, it can’t be the best yet every time” but it is! Somehow, it just seems to be. They just get better every time, whether it’s the results for the men, it’s all that’s always such a huge, huge thing for me. And obviously, you are, which we’ve gone through in a minute. Or the ease of it as well how we can navigate some of the guy’s journeys and processes, and Arthur and I would chime before we jumped on here. And you said something brilliant, Arthur, you said, Look, we’ve now seen it with dozens and dozens of men that have been through The Alpha Reset, you get the result the guys that get the result every time. We can’t guarantee it. But as we’ve not yet seen a guy attend The Alpha Reset, play all out and not get the result, not break free from his suffering from his self imposed prison and this alpha reset of Arthur, what thinking back at the other ones that you’ve, ah, you’ve coached I think it’s far now, isn’t it?
Arthur Magoulianiti 4:15
Yeah, this was once my first.
Tim Matthews 4:19
Yeah. And obviously, you’ve attended once; that’s five in total. How did this one compare for you?
Arthur Magoulianiti 4:24
Wow. I think from, from a, from a coaching perspective, from a leadership perspective, this one felt the most effortless. It felt like we hit the sweet spot. And the bubble we created for these guys was just perfect. We work well together. You and I, I think the energy of the place that we were in everything just jelled, so the whole thing came across proper. This is how I felt it was just effortless; it was relaxed, it was focused, and the One process just flew like just the float into the next. It was, there was nothing difficult, or how can I say anything stressful about what we did this past weekend? It’s important to work, it’s serious work, we take that very, very very seriously, and yet the way it flowed was just like, how we would be like to be as powerful men at the moment flowing, powerful, but not forcing it and so I think that was a major difference this time around. I think it was also a product of perhaps like, I’m, I’m feeling a lot more comfortable being, being my fourth. And I think we, as I said, we work well together and we had that opportunity now a few times. But yeah, I think I think it was just all of those components coming together.
Tim Matthews 5:57
Yeah, I’d agree. I love that part and day three, and I think you like this as much. I loved it. On day three, we got into the topic of having more joy in your life, and I looked outside, and it was raining. If you listen to this show often, you’ll know that one of the things I did recently to get more joy in my life was to go outside and find some puddles and jump in the puddles, my best trainers on. It was a great exercise. I loved it. It did give me a lot of joy. So anyway, on day three is all talking about joy. I look outside, and it’s pouring down with rain. I said to turn to the guys and say, right guys, the guy train is on. We’re going outside. One of the guys was like, “Whoa whoa! These are my best trainers!” pointing to his pristine white trainers. And I’m like, yeah, and is their trainers. Come on, let’s get outside anyway. Ten minutes later, these guys were just transported back to being five, six-year-old boys jumping in puddles, running, laughing, joking, kicking the puddles at one another. The best part, I think you came out just after this Arthur. Lee, one of the guys from The Brotherhood, was volunteering. He was, he was stood there between like these two or three puddles, and the guys were trying to plan, so all the guys ran and jumped in the puddle surrounding Lee at the same time, and literally, these puddles went over his head. The glasses he was wearing were just dripping with this murky puddle of water. It’s almost like we’ve seen those cartoons when they have those windscreen wipers on the glasses.
He almost needed one of those. By the way, afterward, when we got back inside, the guys were just sad there, just such a smile on the face reminiscing about the great time they just had. The great analogy there was that this guy was giving so much of his joy away to his trainers, and where else was doing that in his life? Where else was given his joy away. Because of rules upon himself, that meant nothing that just trainers at the end of the day. Yeah, his best white trainers, but he can wash them, you can buy new ones, you can do whatever you had an experience there that was, was great. They loved, and I know going into this one after we were a little bit, I’ll speak for myself, I’ll hear your take in a minute. But I was a bit concerned going into this one because when the guys arrived, they were very in their head, and what I mean by that is know when the guys arrive often we can see through them, can’t we can see what’s going on. You can see in their eyes the pain they’re in. You can see how they’re not really in their body that they’re just in their head. I’ve been analytical, logical, reserved, and holding back, and the smiles aren’t there, or they aren’t really real. One guy just kept every time we spoke, and he kept rubbing his forehead or hiding behind his hand. Another guy was restless and kept fidgeting and barely breathing when he spoke, and I was concerned, thinking, are we going to get the result for these guys. I mean, were you?
Arthur Magoulianiti 9:12
Told me about, because I get to work with these guys through the six, seven weeks before and you always think like, okay, maybe this guy will have a more difficult journey and yet when I arrived at The Alpha Reset this time, and it was just like, I know they’re going to get a result. I’ve seen it repeatedly that when they guys come in, they play full out as they always do. They always get a result. So yeah, there was one or two minor concerns; let’s call them that. Just that the guys maybe weren’t as at that point where I would have preferred to see them at, and yet, I had the confidence that the process would work for them as well. And as I’ve seen it work time and time again.
Tim Matthews 9:58
Yeah, it was great. one of the guys that were there that would kind of rip the band-aid off, didn’t we? On the first day, he came into it with these labels of “I’m just anxious. I’ve now been diagnosed with ADD, and now it all makes sense. It all makes sense while all my life I felt this way.” He was taking antidepressants and all sorts, and he was, he’s not got ADD, he’s not anxious, the fact, the reality for this guy was, because there’s so much, well all of his life up until now, he was holding back from saying the things he wanted to say and be the man they want it to be is very successful in his career is in the music industry, very successful guy achieved some great things, I’m sure you probably listen to some of the records that he’s released as a lot of number ones there. Yet, despite all his achievements, he only ever had a sense of relief, they never failed and as a result of this what, what then happened was when he arrived, like I said he was barely breathing when he spoke, can you remember every time he’d speak that, take a short sharp breath, his shoulders are high. Yeah, by the end of it. Instead of him sitting down with his legs crossed, arms crossed, fidgeting with his knees, shaking his feet, switching from side to side, his eyes going all over the place, barely breathing in, by the end of it. He was sat there, legs open, arms by the side, breathing normally, completely still, and calm. With not a morsel of anxiety or ADD impression insight. So much so that by the time he left, he stopped taking his medication. Disclaimer, we are not doctors now prescribing things or whatever. But the reality was, the anxiety that he was feeling came from him spending so much time living in his head, with so much energy and emotion become almost trapped there. But when he was able to release all of these things, all of the emotion and everything that goes with it, he then almost landed in his body, and when he landed, ah, beautiful sight.
Arthur Magoulianiti 12:18
Well, not only be beautiful, I mean, he changed color. He had this healthy glow around him that you could see was different from what he had when he walked in, and of course, he had a smile that he didn’t have, and I’ve seen him since then. And I’ve seen a couple of pictures he’s posted on our workgroup, and just he’s just a different man, which is just awesome to see and amazing.
Tim Matthews 12:43
Yeah, I’ve seen those pictures too, and it does; it looks like a completely different guy, and like I say, you guys listen, you may even think, miss it yourself. When you look in the mirror, look at yourself, or you come across other people. You can see when there’s a pain in someone’s eyes it’s there is glaringly obvious as a vacancy that goes with it. And I would say all these guys that arrived had that same vacancy in their eyes. It’s almost like the lights were on, but nobody’s home and then to see these guys now, especially this one amazing man that we’re speaking about. He’s there; not only are the lights on the pull but there’s also a party going on at hub. , he’s alive, aligned, and he is the husband because one of his big drivers come into the program was that he just wasn’t being the husband that he knew he could be addicted and anxiety taking over his life quite heavily. It has done some great work coming into the program to alleviate some of that, but he knew despite he’d done counseling and therapy and now all those things, he knew that he needed to go deeper. And like I said, he saw those pictures with him and his wife by the end of it. Oh my god, it just makes my heart melt completely.
Arthur Magoulianiti 14:08
Yeah, they were amazing, and I mean, just hearing the stories of the Gods going back into their lives now, I had a call with him yesterday. Just the stories coming back and how they are facing up to the life and everything is just it’s just so so fulfilling and it’s just, I just laughed for half the call that the antics that are getting up to and how they’re getting how they are showing up now and what they faced and are they reacting differently and how they are noticing things that before they didn’t notice and so just so excited for what’s going to come to them over the next couple of months, even years because I mean, they standing at a point now where the trajectory can change so much will change so much in as long as it continues on this path.
Tim Matthews 14:55
You have often said, oh wow, this is it’s just the beginning now that they’ve done the work Over the past ten weeks to take off that mask, let go that baggage that’s been weighing them down. Now the freedom from that they’re able to go on and accelerate and be the man that the husband, the father, the entrepreneur, the son, that they’ve always known that could be.
Doug Holt 15:23
Hey, guys, it’s time to get real. Do you feel bored, burnout or broken? Discover the system that over 300 businessmen use to let go of the grind, find inner peace, and unlock near-unlimited personal power. So they can have more time, more intimacy, and better sex while living a life they love without stressing about work or feeling like a fraud. Go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/vs right now and discover the insights that you need to get started. Alright, let’s get back to the episode.
Tim Matthews 16:00
And you said something earlier on, brother, that I loved, and he spoke about power versus force, and that’s the thing with these guys once by the end of day two, once they’ve gone through all of the processes will lead them through the best word that I would use to describe how these guys are feeling would be effortless. There’s such a serene sense of peace that comes across these guys as they sit there in a chair or wherever they sign the room by the end of day two that nothing is even touching them. Nothing is not knocking them off, and it was Nick, I think was it, who arrived back home and arrived home late and was supposed to have an A night with his wife. I think the grandparents were supposed to have these young baby daughters. Yeah, they couldn’t, and didn’t he say that? In the past, that would have just flicked him out into a rage of anger. I was quite scared whether to tell him or not. At the same time, she was apprehensive about telling him. When she did, he was how he responded; what did he say again?
Arthur Magoulianitir 17:05
It’s no problem; I get this talk. I think it was something along the lines of I still get time to spend with you and the kids and everything. And so it’s fine. And we’ll organize something else another time. Which is, I think, from what I understand, not his typical response to change your plans like that. And so it’s just amazing how these guys are rolling into their lives now, and I just want to mention, just going back to jumping in the puddles term. It was one of the guys who took out his kids, and I think it was raining and said, Come on, we’re going outside, and we’re going to jump in puddles, and most of them did, I think, but he started having a problem with jumping the paddles. She didn’t want to, and it was quite scary how our rules transcend to our kids; of course, it would. And how scared she was of actually just letting go and jumping the puddles, and that was a good ending he, he didn’t force her. Once again, a powerful force, he didn’t force it. We just acknowledged her fear at that moment and said, Okay, well, let’s take the bike, and we cycled through the pedals, which she was completely cool with. And so they’re in cycling through the pedals, at which point she thought, okay, now I’m ready to jump in the puddles. And then she went for it and jumped in the puddles and so so what’s great about all of this is that it’s not just us of course, it’s not just us these guys are now rippling, into their family life into their with their partners with their kids with their co-workers and that their trajectory is going to impacting and what are the say we impact how many people I can’t remember what the number but it’s multiples of people. Now they get to take this power of this connected to the hearts, of course, not dominating, not controlling, not forcing, but this powerful man, this hard set of a man going out there. And just taking the world on from an inspired place is awesome to behold.
Tim Matthews 19:08
Yeah, it is nice on a video too, and it was scary how Fred first his daughter was. I think she said, No, I’m going to do it, my trainers, I’m going to get muddy, or something along the lines of I shouldn’t do that because it’s bad. I don’t want to be bad or whatever. But then to see on the flip side, it shouldn’t start running through the puddles and then skipping through them then jump in with both feet going through her, and it was great to see her open up. It was and that same man I spoke to him today, actually Arthur and him went on to business and set out have made some huge decisions in business since he’s got back because obviously, he is more relaxed and he’s more in tune with himself so he can be more inspired and he’s got the energy and presence to then make those decisions. It’s often decisions that, like you said, massively change the trajectory.
Arthur Magoulianiti 20:06
Exactly, yeah. And the guys are listening might be thinking that that just sounds like a million miles away, but it’s not, it’s so close, guys, it’s so close, you just have to take that first step and make that call. And, and all of these guys, in the beginning, were like, ah, I can’t do this, can’t, do that can’t do that. And, and now they’re doing it. And it wasn’t by working harder. It wasn’t about doing more, it was just by following the process allowing themselves to be coached, and for the most part, it was about being effortless. Many guys are doing less and getting a lot more done, which is crazy to say, and it’s like, probably the opposite of what you expect or what you’ve been told. But it’s the truth, and any one of them will say something it’s just, just there for the taking.
Tim Matthews 21:00
The journey from the head to the heart rate is the six inches that make all the difference in your life. It’s the greatest journey you’ll ever make. Yet one that is so often so overlooked as well and I think another point worth mentioning is so often these guys invested into business coaching one of the guys are speaking about this invested 10s of 1000s into a business coach and thinking that the way for him to make money was to invest in the business coaching. So you could then sell the systems and the sales and the marketing so you can make money, and then he could buy the house for his family and be a good husband. But the trouble with that formula is that for as long as he chooses to invest in the external, he misses himself out on that point of him then becoming a good husband or a good father or feeling proud of himself never arrives. Because it’s external on a condition outside of himself versus on something that he truly feels and sees in himself. So for a lot of these guys, it’s the first exploration into any kind of coaching or development, which I think is commendable for these men because what we do produces a result, time and time again. It requires the men to go deep within themselves, it truly does, and obviously, the rewards are worth it. We could stand there, couldn’t we? We could list a whole host of awards from Omar London, his six-figure deal to the same people they presented to the year before marriage has been turned around to people having wild sex on the garden with the neighbors overlooking and not caring. Also…
Arthur Magoulianiti 22:51
To God’s taking time off that they never thought was remotely possible at the beginning of the program. It’s just like the result of the results of results and guys, once again you’re required to go deep, but we show you how to do it it’s not like, how do I do that I’ve got no idea, whatever, we have the processes that lead you there step by step by step by step and so you just need to pitch you don’t need to be in any specific position, know anything specifically, have any ideas of how to get there or do whatever, it’s just getting there arrive and let us help you do the work.
Tim Matthews 23:30
Yeah, I love it. And there’s the way we open up for reset; we tell the guys that the way to win the war isn’t a fight. That just takes you further into battle. A way to win this war is to surrender. Because when you surrender, that’s where you open yourself up, and that’s when you’re able to let go of all the shame you’ve been carrying, you’re able to let go of all that anger that’s been building up inside, all of that sadness, you’re trying to push down and pretend that isn’t there. Please, all of those things are just keeping your gnome and robbing you of all the riches that life is trying to give you or maybe that you even already have. It’s just not London to have a space in which you can let go of all those things without judgment. Oh, you asked one of the guys, one of the things that guys commented on that they loved was the father they could show up in this space, and they just weren’t judged at all. It was pure unconditional love and a space in which they could feel safe to open up and say those things that there have been ashamed of saying or share those the anger that they’ve been pushing down, or I could go on just basically be seen. The first time in their life will be seen for the man that they are for the first time in their life, and it’s profound. It is. It’s a gift. Yeah. So grateful to be involved with that.
Arthur Magoulianiti 25:04
And I think just go back to what you said about surrendering us. Some guys sometimes have a problem with that word surrender, and it’s not; it’s not like the surrender of giving up. Yeah, handing over your arms as in the war scene or battle scene, it’s just opening yourself up to the possibilities of something more it’s, it’s revealing more of yourself to the process to a proven process, and that makes all the difference it’s not it’s the not fighting anymore. It’s the letting go, and it’s the letting go. And I think for so many guys that just haven’t had the opportunity they haven’t had the structure, they haven’t had The Brotherhood around them to allow themselves just to let go and stop fighting and when they do find it, as they do within our groups, and then within The Alpha Reset when they find that it’s just the safest, most powerful place that they can just let go. And, and as you say, without judgment, because we’ve all done shit, and we’ve been, we’ve all been through it, and so we understand. It’s not a place where we’re going to be pointing fingers or anything. We respect every person’s journey, and that journey is so important to that person and so important to us. And so it’s one of the safest places on the planet.
Tim Matthews 26:29
It truly is, and I think Einstein said it best when he said the problem could not be solved at the same level of thinking that created it. If you’re listening to this now and this resonates with you, you’re in a business, and you struggle to balance the pressures of business and home life. You end up going home, and you end up arguing with the wife of Phyllis, anger that’s welling up inside, and you stop at the kids. Then you feel guilty and ashamed, and you start to find yourself in the five I get is just spoken about in the past then it’s clear that you cannot continue to do what you are doing and expect a different result you cannot continue to apply more pressure and to work harder, and to push more because that’s just going to give you more of what you’ve already got. After all, you’ve tried that, and I’ve got you into that position. So it is time for you to try something different to pivot and embrace that concept of surrender; it doesn’t mean weakness. It doesn’t mean inaction; it’s quite the opposite. Surrender is strength, and you’re going to then follow your inspiration and do take the action that will give you the biggest results is always always, the case and The Alpha Reset is just another one of those opportunities and spaces in which you’re able to serenity self those the turn the darkness into light and go into those spaces that you’ve been avoiding because it’s in liberating yourself by going into there that you experienced the biggest freedom of all and that’s the freedom to be yourself. It’s an absolute blessing, and it’s also how you are designed to walk this planet. You were not designed upon this planet to struggle; that’s just a fallacy. You were not so many pide words are for to our lovely listeners here.
Arthur Magoulianiti 28:29
Yeah, guys, you deserve to find a way to enjoy your life and have fun doing the easy way, as Tom says. That life is full of challenges, sure. Still, there is a better way to do things there is a better way to stop the struggle to stop the hustling from stopping the just being so busy that you can’t see the wood for the trees the tree for the woods there is a better way and or it’s just a call away. I haven’t done this process haven’t done other personal development stuff programs. For many years I can tell you this is one of the most powerful things I ever had the good fortune to do, and so guys, please don’t delay any longer make a call. You have got nothing to lose; make that first call.
Tim Matthews 29:25
Yes, guys, head over to ThePowerfulMan.com/vs you can check out some of the case studies from other men on there as well, and if that resonates with you, then go ahead click the clarity call button book it. You have the good fortune of speaking to yourself, and there’s my talk on coffee in the episode. Like I said in the beginning, I’m a little bit under the weather. But guys, Yeah, seriously, whether a woman watching and you listening to this on behalf of the money your life, please, we implore you guys, or even the women make sure the men in your life just become the powerful men no bonds be. It’s time, and it’s time for these men for all men to remember how great they are. Suicide is the biggest killer of men today, and it’s an absolute tragedy. It is. It’s an absolute tragedy. It just does not need to be that way. And there is, there is a solution. Yeah, so head over to ThePowerfulMan.com/vs. So, Arthur, I’ve looked this your first podcast episode,
Arthur Magoulianiti 30:37
Oh, yeah, it’s been fun. It’s been good.
Tim Matthews 30:41
So thank you so much for being on, and let’s get you on in the future for sure. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to accost you right now to do another. So if you hear Arthur’s voice on the next one, I’ve been able to do that. If not, his family has some lies, but it’s all good.
Arthur Magoulianiti 31:00
It’s all good. Well, thank you, Tom. Welcome, brother. Yeah, and guys, yep, all the best, all the listeners.
Tim Matthews 31:07
But I think guys until the next time. Thank you for listening to The Powerful Man show.
