Your Business Is A Reflection Of You

Episode #343

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Episode Transcript

Tim Matthews 0:00 

One of the big shifts that occur for them in business is when they start to shift how they lead. The shift how they lead in the business because not for they’ve shifted how they lead themselves personal, naturally, terrorism into business. One part of that is they’re holding themselves accountable to a higher standard. They hold themselves accountable to a higher standard, which does what it means they hold everyone else around them to a higher standard is what?

Doug Holt 0:00

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Powerful Man show. I am your host, Doug Holt, with my co-hosts, Tim “The Powerful Man” Matthews. What’s going on, buddy?

Tim Matthews 0:10

I’m feeling quite chill after the last episode.

Doug Holt 0:14

Yeah, that was fun. It was very, and I got very passionate about it. Those who may not listen to it go back and check out while the previous one probably did this, depending on when the team gets them out there. We’re talking about the one life; make sure you guys go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/gap G.A.P. to get the worksheet for that. If you haven’t heard, if you guys want to hear me passionate about something, listen to the podcast all the way through. I was trying to contain myself at the same time I am just so passionate about the idea that I want everybody listening to this to get what they want and the life they want.

Tim Matthews 0:55 

Yeah, for sure. Especially when you realize how easy it is not that there are challenges, but my opinion that we see this with the guys in a circle and The Brotherhood and The Activation Method, there’s a way to do it doesn’t mean that you don’t experience challenges. Still, you just experience in the very different. The journey becomes very different. It’s kind of like the path of power versus a path of force one destination to past. The guys are on the path of force when they come to us. That’s what gets them in this position of the five agonisms no man’s land. Then when they learn to shift to the path of power, then it’s just different. It’s just a very different experience. Which kind of leads do I want to talk about today? Your business is a reflection of you. 

Doug Holt 1:44 

Tell me more.

Tim Matthews 1:46

Yeah, well, I’m sure you’d agree, right. A lot of the guys who come to us are the business, although it’s financially successful. For most of the guys, it’s a lot more like a high-paying job than a business. Because usually they either don’t pay them, some don’t pay themselves enough, even if the business is doing eight figures, seven figures, even nine figures, some don’t pay themselves what they’re worth, or they could pay themselves. They still find themselves getting sucked into everything. Right, that they struggle to let go and build something that can thrive without them. As a result, there’s a lot of chaos in their business, again, sucked into most Intel decisions. They’re working long hours, and it doesn’t run without them to a degree. This is often a reflection of how they live their life, right the scramble and struggle to find time to work out. They scramble and forget things. Well, jobs that the wife might have asked them to do on the house. Little things that they’ve wanted to do for themselves and put on the back burner. Before they know it, it’s been two years. I’ve wanted to do that for two years. It is all one of the same things. And we could point to a few different things here. But I think that the main thing I want to talk about is accountability here because of the big shifts that we see for the men in The Brotherhood and the inner circle, and even to The Activation Method to a degree. One of the big shifts that occur for them in business is when they start to shift how they lead and the shift how they lead in the business. Because naturally, they’ve shifted how they lead themselves personally, So it naturally carries over into business. One part of that is they’re holding themselves accountable to a higher standard. Yes, they’re in certain conversations with men that might be a few steps ahead of them. So by default holds them accountable. But they also obviously use the chair intentional living and other tools. They hold themselves accountable to a higher standard, which does what it means they hold everyone else around them to a higher standard as well. Even though wife boundaries come into play with the staff, clarity starts to creep in clarity on where the business is going clarity on who’s responsible for what within the company outcomes, not tasks, outcomes. Then it’s a case of, Hey, we said this was going to be the outcome, and it hasn’t happened, why hasn’t it happened, and they’re able to have very clear conversations. They’re able to come from that come into that conversation. After all, the Pat in the background dogs in, and they’re able to come into that conversation with integrity Because they are holding themselves accountable in their own lives, they’ve been doing it consistently, they now feel able to hold others accountable as well. It doesn’t come from a place of comparison; it comes from a place of knowing because it’s who they are, a value that they now have, right, which then invites others around them to rise and grow. This also means that in business, a lot more freedom is created. So I’m going to curious if you what’s been your experience in witnessing this in the movement?

Doug Holt 5:37 

Oh, I 100% agree. First of all, I want to talk about if I can, Tim. I used to be in this role, right? I ran in my 20s, and I ran three companies. the companies only rose as far as there is I rose, right? I think the company is a reflection of the leadership, the leader. So when things were chaotic, in my relationships, or my personal life, the businesses were chaotic. then I’d be running around putting out the fires and the businesses, not realizing that it was the chaos inside of me. it was going on inside of me that was a reflection of that. I also wanted to be everybody’s friend. I want to be the good guy. Hey, the owner would go out get drinks at happy hour. I’m in my 20s, right, and going out and doing those things. fast forward to today, because of the movement, because working with so many men that we have business leaders, you see patterns, you’d be a moron not to witness the patterns of Okay, these guys are all super-intelligent, they’re successful. you’re watching them play out a lot of these things that they’re playing out in their marriage or their health are playing out in their business. So you see that a lot. I mean, yesterday, as I got, I went off on the team. So there’s part of the team within The Powerful Man movement that I’m responsible for. these guys are all players. Many of these guys, a lot of them who have graduated from the program, have decided to stay on because it’s a common thing where guys are like, this it changed my life in ways that I couldn’t even imagine possible. I want to help out. I hold myself to a very high standard as you do, and a lot of the guys are listening to this deal. so I hold the team, the same standard. I said, Look, guys, it’s one thing if you’re not smart enough to one thing if you’re not capable. But when you make mistakes, and you are smart enough, and you are capable, that’s when I have a problem, that’s when you’re going to see me angry. I don’t get angry very often. But I was pretty pissed. the reason I was pissed is I’m passionate about what we do. We don’t sell widgets, and we change men’s lives. By changing men’s lives, we change the lives of their wives and their children. Even men who divorce their wife’s lifetime, the ex-wife, change because he sees this mana phoenix rising from the ashes and stepping into his greatness. Now she’s going to miss out on that. If they’re divorced, sometimes they reconcile; that happens occasionally. Not often, but occasionally. But Always. Always. The man’s ax sees him rise and gets a little jealous, But the guys are together. But we don’t sell widgets that change men’s lives. So a level of accountability that I hold myself to, I hold the team back to what it used to be for me. When I didn’t hold myself to that standard, that high standard, I let myself slide. you’re tired today; no need to go running. even though you said you were going to everybody makes mistakes, no big deal. My team would do the same thing. They would follow suit. But now and you’re great at this, Tim, I know this is something you’ve dive deeply into in the last six months or so. I say guys deeply; I mean, Tim is diving deeply. When somebody says, hey, I’m going to start studying a subject, Tim buys every book it takes, every course, talks to every leader; he can become professional. It’s a deep, deep dive, and you’re doing a great job of it. But again, yesterday, I left a message to the whole team. I was like, guys, this is not good enough. The reason it’s not good enough, because you’re better. I related it, and I think a lot of guys can relate to this too. I played soccer at a relatively competitive Level until my mid to late 30s. So long time, and we lose. We lose games as you do with any sport. when I played my heart out, and my team did, and we lost, we’re all still happy. It was a weird feeling you lost. Yeah, but we left it all on the field like we played a hard game. when you do that hard game, even if the other team wins, the other team respects you more. Because they know you played on there better that day, maybe they’re better every day, who knows, but they respect you, and you respect yourself. So everybody walks off the field had had up the course you want to win like I love winning, I don’t hate losing if you meet me, in-person playing ping pong or throwing white paper into a trashcan I want to win. But when you put it all on the line and hold yourself accountable to that high standard, it’s a different feeling as you’re talking about Tim. you can be the best team in the world. we step onto that field and either pitch. you win, but yet you didn’t play full out. It’s boring. It sucks. It’s unfulfilling.

When I’ve seen, like you, with many men coming into the movement, we see their tendencies that they’re not holding up to their standards. We know right away with 100% certainty the same things going on in their business. We work with business owners; the business owners we work with are successful. These are smart men. These are guys like you listening to this or watching this right now. They’re smart guys. They know what they’re doing. But they look around them. Their business is chaotic as a relationship.

Tim Matthews 11:12

And the same thing they do in their relationship or business, let’s say they avoid conflict in the relationship because it’s easier. Guess what? They often avoid conflict in business because it’s easier if they fail the tests that their wife gives them, and they want to save them and rescue her and please her. Guess what? They tend to step into business and save and rescue people that too. I can think of many men I’ve spoken to over the past few weeks in particular, who this applies to the guys who some guys joined the program, some guys didn’t. But the patterns that they shared with me and they didn’t see it, and this isn’t anything against them. But they didn’t understand the link between why there was such a high turnover of staff in their company. Because their staff would just walk all over them to a degree, there’d be no accountability until then blow off and speak badly. In a way, that’s inappropriate to a degree to the staff, and the staff then leave. Well, then he goes home and his wife and kids. They haven’t upheld that side of the bargain either with doing what they said they would do and what ended up happening; he would then end up doing those jobs until guess what he would then blow up. His wife and his kids would say, God, you saw anger why chose after what is always have to end this way with you to relax that. Then what happened so that again, the cycle just continued. a lot of guys, this is such an opportunity, if anyone listened to this, that this might even remotely resonate with if you just look at some of the biggest complaints that you have in your business. Then look at some of the biggest complaints you have in your relationship. just see if there’s a link there because I bet there is.

Doug Holt 13:57 

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. But I wanted to ask you a question. Do you ever feel like something’s just missing? Like there’s something more out there, and you just can’t put your finger on it. I get it. Go over right now to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus to discover the system that other businessmen just like you are using. We’ve included 10 case studies, ten men just like you who have found the solution and found their way on their path. But we want to share that with you; go over to ThePowerfulMan.com/Bonus right away. Now let’s get back to the show.

Doug Holt 13:23

Yeah, I mean, as you do, you’ve guys have heard this before. As you do one thing, you do all things. If you have an asset in your workouts, if you have an asset in your relationship, you’re going to have an asset in your business. Now sometimes, guys have most of us men; at least I did too. We hide out in our business, meaning we focus on our energy there because we’re good. Got it. Right, we get our accolades, people that God, you’re so smart I used to hear that all the time. Oh, you’re so smart, I can’t believe you did this, or you built the business to that or all these things you’ve overcome. I loved it filled me up gave me significance. But when I realized, right, that my business only grew to a level that I was playing at, that was a hard pill to swallow, Tim, and It’s such a hard pill to swallow. When I looked at my staff, part of one of my businesses was brick and mortar. I looked at the staff there. That staff was directly a reflection of me, their attitudes, their work environment. Otherwise, I would have got rid of them. Right, the gossip, or whatever it was, or the lack of gossip, the abundance or the scarcity, that was a reflection of me, the owner, not them. When I was in my 20s, a young guy, I had a business mentor, thank goodness, I was smart enough to get a coach, and I’ve always had a coach. he’s always like, Doug, this isn’t them. This is you. Right, this is you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t stick around. If, if their standards were higher, they would have left. Right, their standards were too low; they would have left. But their standards equal to yours. so when I’m looking at these people, right, that we’re working for me, and I’m looking at them as if their standards are low, and their standards were lower in the work environment, for me. But there were equal to the standards I had in other areas, others of the five territories for me. I didn’t put that together till much later. It was a reflection hindsight is 2020. They say, and I agree, it’s easy to look backward and go, Ah, that’s it. That’s it.Because guys, if you’re having staff problems, or your staff isn’t producing, or sales guys aren’t selling enough, or maybe it’s operations or fulfillment, or something’s not working as well as you want them to, and it’s your team, that’s a reflection of you. Right, because if your standards and your accountability are super high for yourself, and for what you hold everybody else too, they’re going to wash out, they’re going to like, wow, this is too hard. I don’t want to do this. I’m going to smoke weed, sit on the couch and watch Netflix. Same thing, your standards are too low, and your accountability is low, a player’s they’re not going to stick around. They’re not, or they’re going to sink. They’re going to sink to that level. so I invite you guys to look around you right now look at your leadership team. If not, and if everybody else, are they all A players? Are they all A players? Now, I would invite you if you want to take this a step deeper, which many men do, especially the guys that have joined our inner circle or The Brotherhood programs, the guys committed to just living what we call the Fuck yes life. Not only look at your leadership team on how they’re stepping up in business but how are they stepping up elsewhere? Now I know you’re going to say some of the guys are like, Whoa, that’s not in my business. What is your leader? Where are they in their health? Because if they’re letting their health slide, they’re going to let areas of the business slide this star right because standards if they’re letting their relationship their duties as a father, now I don’t want to get into what fathers are supposed to do have to do accept, etc. If you are interested, we do have a program we are launching called the powerful father. It’s friggin phenomenal. If you go over to ThePowerfulMan.com you can get on the waiting list. I think we got the number of guys that are on that waiting list already. So that is available right there to get on that. But what I’m talking about is what it means for you to be a father Or them. Are they doing what they say they want to do? Or their marriage. I want a loving, respectful marriage, I want intimacy, I want sex, but they’re not putting the work in. I’m putting their money where their mouth is the financial capital course. But time energy is what I’m talking about here. Right, but they’re not doing it. Odds are they’re going to be lacking that in business to somewhere is leaking. The same thing goes holds right for you. If you’re not investing in your marriage and it’s not working people around, they know guys, we always know. We don’t want anybody else to know what we’re doing. But you see behind the guy, the guys that you’re working to see behind their masks, their lies, and what’s happening when they come in tired and sluggish. Because they’re unfulfilled, or they’ve been drinking too much, or what have you. they’re not hiding it. Maybe you can hide it a few times. Still, you can’t hide it over a long period. are the guys around you A-players the guys and girls, and if they’re not and you want to be an A player, and you are an A player, then you need to rise first, and if those around you do not rise With you, they got to go there washed out anyway, but just let him go. Let him play with the beat team. That’s cool. They want to B players. The players who stick around players will fill those slots. I believed him. There are more A-players, and people think out there. the problem is not that there are not enough great employees or great staff. The A-players don’t have slots to go into because they’re occupied by B and C players.

Doug Holt 19:19

The B and C players are comfortable. Let me play it at B and C level cool. They’re not going anywhere. Those are the guys you work with when you’re supposed to be there, from eight to five, let’s just say a classic job. It’s 445. they’re shutting down the computer. They’re out the door at five o’clock or before. That’s not A player. Now granted, some people have schedules, etc. Now, the A players aren’t looking even looking at the clock. Do you guys know the difference? If you have those guys, in your team, on your staff in your company, then it’s time to do some soul searching. Where am I doing that my life? And that’s the question I asked myself, that’s when my coach was more of a mentor to me, asked me like, Where’s this showing up for you in your life? Doug? Scott ran a billion-dollar company. I was lucky enough to be in Santa Barbara, California, a lot of wealthy people young kid, and he was willing to take me under his wing. Like, what do you mean, where does this show up for me? Like, what is this hippie stuff? This guy was that guy who knew what he was talking about. So I looked at it, and I found places, my relationships. My health, I was healthy, then. I was like, I’m not doing everything I’m saying to do. Okay. So if I’m not keeping my word to myself, how am I expect people to keep their word? I’m the leader who comes from the top down guys. If I’m not investing in my relationship, how do I expect people to invest in their education, personal development, business, and things like that in my business? What became interesting for me, Tim is that people new people knew that my wife and I were having problems. I mean, I took off for a month, went down to a beach house, and worked out of there and just to collect myself, and I was getting ready to leave. But everybody knew I was working on it. Everybody knew my wife was working on it too, working hard to time there was no powerful man at the time there was there. Such a shorter journey, man, oh, my God, so much pain, pain, money, everything to be avoided for my wife and me and the people around us. But people respected the fact that I was working on it. I wasn’t just saying that I wanted a good marriage; I was freaking putting in the work. I wasn’t just saying, and I wanted this; I was putting the work. What I found happened is my business grew; you and I’ve talked about this. I was out of the business, and my business did better than ever. The reason being is the people around me knew that my standards were high enough. I was stepping up in all areas of all five territories. That doesn’t mean it’s going perfectly for me. But I’m rising to those standards. Guess what? When I was gone, my staff rose because they cared. They knew that was the standard. The standard wasn’t just talking about it. I hope this will happen someday. I hope things will get better if I just waited out no, subconsciously. one of the women still works for me, like Tim. They’re like, yeah, we knew you’re putting the time and the effort. We knew that. That’s what we what you do. You work for Doug; that’s just what you do. No one talked about or thought about it just the way it was. This is a direct reflection. Well, my business wasn’t working well. It was a direct reflection of what was going on for me. It goes both ways.

Tim Matthews 23:00

Certainly does. Again, guys who are listening to this. Maybe they’re struggling in their relationship, and they go out into work, and maybe some of the headspaces are taken up by the worries of what was going on at home, and it’s caused them to be a bit more short-tempered or indecisive. The opposite is also true here. That’s a great thing. They are linked to every area of your life is linked—your business. If you’re especially if you’re a business owner is a great place for you to sit back. Take stock and get some great intel on what the gaps are for you right now. If your staff are not performing and what What’s going on? They’re not delivering on time. Interesting. How am I doing that? Because the reality is, guys, if you weren’t doing that, you wouldn’t accept them doing it. So anywhere where you are tolerating something and accepting it, chances are, it’s because you’re doing it.

Doug Holt 24:12

So true. So Tim, what are a couple of things that guys can do right now? If they find themselves as I did early on as a business owner, and a lot of our guys find themselves in today? What are a couple of things they can do right now?

Tim Matthews 24:27

Yeah, I think, just take stock of your business. Write down all the complaints, be with individuals, be with teams beat with the company, write them all down; he doesn’t do this. She doesn’t do that. They do this, and this doesn’t happen. Just then, have a look. Okay, how do I do this? How do I do this? And if you do, how do you do it? Look, write down all the complaints with your wife. She’s nosy, and she doesn’t do that. She says this. Okay? How do I do that? And just take stock. I think you guys have some great optics on what you can change. 

Doug Holt 25:08

Love it. Guys, this is the time to take action. This is the time to take stock. Because we always say at the moment, insight is the time to get things done. So the people around you look around, and it’s not going as well as you’d like. These people around you aren’t stepping up, as Tim says. Maybe it’s your wife, and maybe it’s your kids with your employees. It’s time to look internally and look at where you are. Then take massive action. Massive action, guys. It’s where your leader is, and you’re a man; you’re a powerful man. Being a powerful man means being decisive. It means taking massive action when you need to, just like you would with defending your family. You’re just now defending your family by taking care of you. That’s the best way to do it. Fortify your castle, your internal castle, fortify it and make it strong. Tim love you bring this topic to the table. As always, such a great conversation point. Gentlemen, if you’ve been with us for a little while, I’d love it if you leave an authentic review. Wherever you find this, just how other guys find this, the deal. It’s just a great way that’s giving you any insights help us reach other men Tim and I do this just because we enjoy it and the other guests that we bring on. So, gentlemen, that’s a wrap for us for this episode of The Powerful Man show. As always, take massive action. Have an amazing week. We’ll see you next time on The Powerful Man show.