Episode #1099
What do you do when your wife tells you she’s been faking it for 30 years?
Is it a test? Is she trying to get a reaction? Or is this the beginning of the end?
In this episode, we unpack a real story from one of our men whose wife told him she was never truly attracted to him and only stayed for the kids. Most guys would get defensive. They’d argue the facts. They’d collapse into shame. Or they’d chase.
He didn’t.
He stayed grounded. He stayed curious. He didn’t make it about himself. And that response alone changed the dynamic.
We talk about what a safety test actually is and why so many men fail it. We break down how to hear the emotion underneath the words instead of reacting to the content. And we get honest about the other possibility too, that maybe it’s not a test at all. Maybe it’s complete.
If that’s the case, how do you move forward without falling apart? How do you make sure your worth isn’t tied to the relationship? How do you handle it in a way you can look back on without regret?
This is a real conversation about staying steady when everything feels uncertain. About not chasing. Not collapsing. Not reacting. But standing firm in who you are, whether the marriage rebuilds or ends.
If your relationship feels shaky right now, this episode will challenge you in the right way.
If you’re not sure where your marriage stands and you want clarity on what to do next, we’ve put together a free training that walks you through the exact framework we use to help men turn things around.
Get access to the free training here:
https://fixmarriage.thepowerfulman.com/scales
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Transcription
Tim Matthews 0:00
Is it a test? Is it not?
Lawrence 0:01
Wonderful times, and she's a wonderful woman.
Stephen 0:03
It's a way of her wanting to know that she's okay.
Tim Matthews 0:08
She has been faking it.
Lawrence 0:10
We can both part ways knowing that we did everything we could.
Tim Matthews 0:15
In that moment, he wanted the best for her, whatever that meant for the relationship.
Lawrence 0:19
Don't listen to the word. It's an entirely subconscious thing. Try and see through that to the emotion.
Tim Matthews 0:24
He remained very grounded. He remained very curious. He remained very loving. He didn't take it personally. He didn't react. He just listened and took it in.
Tim Matthews 0:45
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the TPM Show. My name is Tim Matthews, your host, and I'm joined today with two incredible guests, Wildcard and King of Cheese. Hello, hello. Nice to be here.
Nothing, just a King of Cheese.
So I received a message this morning from an amazing man who you guys probably know, but I'm going to keep him anonymous right now.
So essentially, last night he had a conversation with his wife, and his wife basically said to him that for the past 30 years she has been faking it, and the only reason she was staying in the marriage was for the kids, and that she wasn't attracted to him.
For him, he found it incredibly freeing because he has gone through an incredible journey the past four years working on himself. He's come a hell of a long way, and this has been one area that he has seen a lot of progress in the past 12 months. A lot of progress.
The intimacy between him and his wife has rekindled to levels it hasn't been in years. They've had some incredible times over the past year with trips and vacations and things that they've taken and done together.
Aside from his marriage, because that's one area of his life, the relationship that he has with his kids is just better than ever. The way in which he's thriving and achieving in business is, again, better than ever. His levels of confidence and self-assuredness and connection to himself are the best they've ever been.
This is probably the part I've not responded to him yet. I've not spoken to him yet. I'll speak with him today. But this is why I'm guessing that he's saying that it's a relief. I feel free. All these questions I've had and curiosities around why is this so difficult now I've got my answer.
Now he posted this in a channel with some of the other guys, and this was in the Inner Circle, and one of the guys responded saying, "It's a test. It's a test." And if she wants to leave, let her go. Kindly. Be, remain, keep it clean, remain grounded, and such.
But he believed it was a test.
He went through something similar with his wife probably 18 months ago, maybe 12 months ago. She didn't say those exact things, but she wanted to get divorced. So because he'd been on a journey the past few years as well, and he'd really learned to reconnect with his worth and his value, he was okay with it.
Coincidentally, despite them actually getting I don't know if they've finalized the divorce yet they're actually still together. They're living separately now, but their connection and relationship is better than it's been in a long, long time because he stood in his worth and in his value.
He let her want to do her thing, which was very attractive to her. She was like, "Oh, this is the guy that I kind of met all those years ago." He wasn't going to chase it. He wasn't going to try to convince her to stay.
So I'm bringing this up because obviously I know you've been on quite the journey yourself. I know you probably resonate with this as well. So I just want to talk about this situation that this guy has been through.
Is it a test? Is it not? What's your experience of it? What would you do in this situation?
So over to you.
Lawrence 5:10
I can tell you exactly what I would do in that situation because when you were saying that, it sounded like I'd written you a letter, and I didn't remember writing you a letter.
That is pretty much the same sort of situation. She didn't say those exact words, but 33 years married, and the relationship had always been rocky. There were wonderful times, and she's a wonderful woman, and we got on really well. We spent many years going through life together, working together, raising children, and all of those things. And I'm very grateful for all of that time that we had.
But over the last sort of five or 10 years, I had already checked out and was completely deactivated. That turned her into someone who had switched off and was having to find an exit route.
Over the last five years, she threw herself into studies and things like that. And it came to a point where she just said, "I don't think I'm getting anything out of this. I don't think you're getting anything out of this. The kids are all grown up."
I was just saying outside that we're actually still friends. We went through the process together. But what you said that sense of freedom is incredible.
And I think what was helpful for me was that I knew that I'd gone through the movement. I'd become activated. We had an incredible year-long fling together where we really jived and things were going well. Then we hit another roadblock, and another bit of baggage came up from the past, and it just seemed endless.
I kind of stepped back, and she stepped back, and it started to go downhill again. So there was this revival, and then it was like, well, actually standing there and seeing each other not in the memory of who we used to be and not looking at each other with these rose-tinted glasses of "I want that back" but looking at the person actually standing in front of me now and saying, "Are we still connected? Is there still a deep connection?"
We tried everything we could. Both of us tried everything we could in terms of intimacy coaches and TPM and things like that.
And at the end, she turned to me and she said, "I feel like it's not the end of the marriage. It's the completion. I feel it's completed."
Tim Matthews 7:33
Nice way of saying it.
Lawrence 7:34
It was a lovely way of saying it. And that’s really stuck with me. And we can both part ways knowing that we did everything we could. And at the end, it was complete. And the relief and the freedom… I was on a pack call last night, and the guys were talking about somebody who had a neck injury or neck pain and shoulder pain. They said, “We’re going to go and see the chiropractor,” and all this sort of stuff. And the coach actually said, “Have you thought about the psychological side? What are you carrying that may have affected this?” And as he was saying that, I realized I haven’t had any neck or shoulder pain for the last three months. I’m like, and I was always suffering from that before, and it’s just gone. Just incredible. I’d ordered a new bed, but it hasn’t arrived yet.
Tim Matthews 8:21
Pain in the neck is like a saying. Pain in the neck.
Lawrence 8:27
The body keeps the score.
Tim Matthews 8:29
Jokes aside, but the body does keep the score.
Lawrence 8:33
So I don’t know whether it’s a test or not, and I think he’s the only person who could know that in terms of whether there’s hope for rekindling something.
Tim Matthews 8:47
Well, let’s just pause on that. Let’s help the guys that are listening. What is a test? Let’s break that down, and then let’s play out the scenario of it being a test. How should you handle it? And let’s play out the scenario of it maybe not being a test, and what would you do? So how would you guys define a test?
Stephen 9:07
We sort of refer to them as safety tests generally, don’t we? Quite often when they come up with my wife, it’s a way of her wanting to know that she’s okay, that I’m there, that I’ll catch her if she falls, that I can step into the breach if needs be, that everything’s okay, that I’ve got this, that things are going to be all right.
And that could be over something really small, like a travel arrangement or something, or something a lot bigger around being able to utterly fall to pieces if she’s feeling emotionally overwhelmed, to know that I’m there to catch her emotionally, if nothing else.
That’s certainly how I see the concept of tests. And they can show up in day-to-day situations. That can be an indicator, I think, of how she is at a point in time.
With the road to Christmas, it’s always a busy time for me in business and for her with the family and stuff. There were a few days where it was test after test after test, and they were all little things. But me stepping back and going, “Okay, what’s the bigger picture here?” she’s overwhelmed with arrangements and other things. And some of it is her signaling to me that she’s not okay, but also checking that I’m there for her as well.
Tim Matthews 10:26
And I think a lot of men fail the tests when they’re not able to recognize what a test is, or that something might be a test. But also when they then react to the test, because they get sucked into dealing with the content.
They get stuck arguing about the facts, the content of whatever situation, versus being able to realize there’s her experience beneath it and what her experience might be, and then hold space for that experience while keeping her experience outside of you, because her experience is her experience.
But like I said, most guys instead react, internalize it, hear that they’re doing something wrong, feel criticized ultimately, and fail the test. And that’s where they get stuck in these arguments that just go around in circles, because the guy’s arguing with logic, the woman’s arguing with emotion, completely speaking two different languages. And it just goes on for days and days and days.
But if you knew what a test was, you’d be able to navigate quicker.
Lawrence 11:32
And I think tests can come out of the blue, because sometimes they can be completely manufactured. It might not be based in reality at all. It’s just a test.
And the other thing I think that’s really important to remember is that often your partner won’t even know that she’s doing that. It’s not a conscious thing. A lot of times it’s an entirely subconscious thing. Not entirely sometimes there are tests that they want to prod but a lot of times it’s just completely subconscious.
And I think knowing that and being able to, as you say, speak the same language… one of the best things I heard actually was somebody said to me, “Don’t listen to what she said. Don’t listen to the words. Try and see through that to the emotion.”
And that is a skill in itself. I’m not there yet, but it’s ongoing. It’s about what’s actually going on. Then you’re speaking the same language, to use what you said there.
Tim Matthews 12:31
And ultimately, to your point, Stephen, it’s, can I be myself around you? You know, guys often want to unlock the wildness in the bedroom, but they’ve got to be able to hold space for the wildness outside the bedroom.
So in this particular scenario, this guy has been met with a test. So him and his wife, similar to you, are on this journey, and hopefully it’s a journey back to each other. And as I said, there’s been these incredible moments of sexual intimacy. And sometimes tests can take place right before there is a huge act, if you will, of intimacy, sexual or otherwise.
Sometimes a test in itself is a form of intimacy. They had an incredible conversation last night. He remained very grounded. He remained very curious. He remained very loving. He didn’t take it personal. He didn’t react. He didn’t say, “How dare you lie to me for 30 years? How can I ever trust you again?” He didn’t say any of those things. He just listened and took it in.
So if it was a test, from what he’s said to me in the message, it sounded like he handled it really well. In that moment, he wanted the best for her, whatever that meant for the relationship. And as I said, he didn’t react, and he remained very grounded.
And what that says to her is, if he can stay connected to her and to himself in a moment where, arguably, she is being the most hurtful, in some respects depends how you look at it the most hurtful, but also the most honest that she’s been in a long time, and he still leans in and doesn’t lean out and close down, then, oh, okay, he leaned in. I didn’t get the reaction I thought.
And that, in itself, can pave the way to either more conversations or more time together or more sexual intimacy or whatever. Moments like that can actually be the making of a relationship.
For the other guy who said it’s a test, I think the reason why he said that is because when he didn’t react in that moment and didn’t try and change her behavior or try to convince her to stay, because he was very grounded in his own worth and such, for him, his wife at that point found that very attractive.
Because for so many years he’d been chasing her and kind of been a bit needy, had this kind of desperate, needy energy to him, and that then pushed her away. But like I said, over the past few years, as he’s worked on himself, as she then came at him with this and he was able to remain grounded and connected in his worth, she was like, “Oh, this is different. I wasn’t expecting that. Whoa. Who is this guy?” Then kind of FOMO kicks in. “Oh, don’t want to lose out here. I don’t want to miss out on this guy. I mean, this guy’s a catch.” So you can often turn things around.
Stephen 15:40
There’s something about the man leaning into that curiosity as well. When a wife’s come to him and said, “I want out,” I know a friend of a friend many years ago where she had gone to her husband and said, “I want out,” and he had just gone, “Okay,” and that was it.
And that told her all she needed to know that actually that was the right thing for her to do, because this guy was just not into the relationship, not even bothered about trying. So there was no maybe he was doing what he wanted but there was no curiosity, no intimate connection at all in that.
But to be able to hear that and to stay interested, to stay curious…
Tim Matthews 16:23
To not internalize it, not to feel like a failure, not to be like, “I’ve failed. What’s wrong with me? What could I have done better?” Like all the things it’s so easy to fall into shame and get stuck in that. Exactly. To not fall into that and continue to make it about her.
Because if in that moment he would have fallen into, “I’ve failed. What have I done?” all these things, he’s dropping into shame in that moment. And the moment he goes into shame, he stops making it about her and her experience, and he starts making it about himself.
If he leans into your point with curiosity…
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Tim Matthews 17:53
Now it’s difficult. I’m really proud of this guy for handling it this way. It’s incredible. But when you lean in with curiosity and continue to make it about her from a place of fullness within yourself, without collapsing, I mean, that is just so rare.
And the impact that has on her in that moment, in that exchange I mean, even if she did mean it, she’s definitely going to be doubting it, I would think anyway, because of how he’s handled it. You’ve got to think, “Hang on a minute. Is this actually the right thing?” I mean, look at this guy and how he’s showing up right now, and outside of that, how he provides financially, how he provides emotionally for the kids, all the other things that go with it. He’s the complete package.
Stephen 18:46
I mean, the question about “Is this a test?” part of that hinges on whether she said that expecting a particular reaction from him.
Tim Matthews 18:54
She may well have done, right? Maybe she’s about to open up more. And to open up more and really let him in even further he did say that she’d opened up to him in a way that she hasn’t done for years.
So maybe this is the first of several conversations she wants to have with him, and she was going to see how he handled this one. Did he react, or did he stay grounded? If he stayed grounded, then great. To your point, “I can share more,” she might be thinking.
Lawrence 19:23
I think with myself and with the other guy you mentioned, the women never actually said those words. And those words seem to me designed, because the words were something like, “I’ve been faking it for 30 years.” Well, you can’t fake it for 30 years.
Tim Matthews 19:45
I don’t think so either. That just didn’t seem right.
Lawrence 19:49
There’s probably been periods through those 30 years where she’s found… His kids are not even 30 years old, right? So the oldest is 27.
It sounds to me like that was a… well, listen, it can’t be true that the whole 30 years were fully faking it all the time. No one can fake it for that long. I don’t think.
And so the wording, to me, says there’s something there. It’s trying to find out how he responds. And I think that it sounds to me like, if it is a test, it’s going to be the first of a few, or another one in the series. It’s not going to end there, because once you perform like he’s done there, which is incredible, that’s going to pique some interest.
And they need consistency with that approach, you know? Okay, that’s good. Let’s try again with the next bit and the next bit.
But I think, you know, that sounds to me like that’s a test that was passed well, and that there’ll be more to come. Whereas with mine, it wasn’t so much of a test as a statement of fact that we both agreed with.
Tim Matthews 21:02
I’m just wondering right now, I wonder if the test can work both ways. Guys don’t tend to… Safety tests don’t exist from a guy.
I’m just thinking this for the first time, right? So I’m just kind of brainstorming with you guys, and this could be complete crap, but we’ll find out.
But if he’s handled it in the way that he has, right, and she’s like, “Hey, I’m not bothered,” and he remains grounded and leans in, remains rooted in himself, and doesn’t try to chase after her but he’s doing it because he’s not playing games so hence I think the test not being a thing there.
But I wonder if, in her mind, she’s thinking, “Is this a test? Like how he’s being right now? Is he testing me? Is he seeing if I’m going to chase him? Is he seeing if I’m going to take it back?” I wonder if women think that.
Stephen 22:01
That sounds like you’re trying to maybe make something logical, put a logical framework around something.
Lawrence 22:07
I found myself saying something to a girl, and for her to turn around and say something, I went, “Oh, well done. You passed.” You know, maybe I subconsciously tested you.
“What do you mean I’ve passed? Oh, was it a test?”
“Oh, well, in my mind it wasn’t when I said it, but it is now. Well done. You’ve passed.”
And maybe that’s just a bit of flirty banter, I don’t know. But maybe there is a part of that that could be.
Tim Matthews 22:31
I think we all test things as human beings. I think we just do because we need to know where the boundaries are and what’s going on, and feel things out and people out and all that stuff.
And obviously, a safety test is a very specific kind of test that goes on for very specific reasons.
But I don’t think he’s definitely testing her. But I wouldn’t wonder whether she thinks that he might be, because of him just not really trying to… He’s not sitting there trying to convince her, “Please, no, don’t do this. What about this time? What about that time? How can you say it was all rubbish? We did this. We did that.”
He’s not trying to convince her because he’s just sat very much grounded in his own worth. I’ve said this many times on this episode so far, but sat grounded in his own worth.
His value and his worth are not attached to the marriage, which it can quite easily be for a lot of men. And that’s where codependence at times can unknowingly creep in. Just like a guy’s worth can get attached to his business and his business performance, his worth can often get attached to his marriage and how his marriage looks, and the idea of being married and not wanting to look like a failure and all the things that go with it.
But because this guy’s overcome all of that stuff, he was able to sit in that moment in such an incredible way.
I’d like to think I would have handled it as well as him. But honestly, I don’t know if I would have done. Some of those things that she said were pretty cutting.
Lawrence 24:09
I think there’s a bigger context around it that only he will know as well. So trying to understand whether… the analogy of sitting on the fence, you know, and the story I was told when I first started the movement was, you know, you’re in the garden.
If your wife’s on the garden fence, don’t try and pull her back into the garden. Don’t try and yank her back in by explaining how good she’s got it or anything like that. But work on your garden. Make the garden somewhere where she’ll be comfortable to come into.
And I love that analogy. But I suppose understanding whether your wife or your partner is on the fence or three gardens down doing her own thing in a new garden is dependent on the whole context around that, and it’s sometimes very difficult to see that.
And I think regardless, the only thing you can do is continue to work on your own garden, making sure that you’re centered, solid, somewhere safe for her to rest in.
Tim Matthews 25:07
I love that. So let’s play the other possibility. This isn’t a test, right? And she’s done. Now what for this guy?
What advice would you give him on how to move forwards?
Lawrence 25:26
I think… did he say he felt a sense of freedom, or was that the other guy?
Tim Matthews 25:37
The guy whose wife said, “I’ve been lying for 30 years.” He said he’s felt a sense of freedom.
Lawrence 25:45
Okay, so I think if he feels that this is a statement of fact, and you both agree that it’s not working after 30 years, and the kids have grown and no one’s going to get hurt in the next step, I think you have to take a breath and think about what you want.
The risk is… so I’m in risk management, so I think about risk all the time, right? So the risk is, do I stay and try and turn this around and try and do something about it, or is it gone? And actually, I think I’d be happier and more comfortable, and I think she’d be happier and more comfortable not necessarily that comfort’s the thing if we just went our separate ways and gave ourselves a chance at happiness.
And I think he has to be clear on what he wants and then go after that.
And I think there is life after. You know, incredible life after. The freedom is real. It really is. Somebody said to me the other day, “Marriage isn’t for life. Divorce is.” I thought that’s quite a cynical way of looking at things.
But I think if it’s done and you feel a sense of freedom and release, then start down that route and take it one step at a time. But again, make sure you grieve anything that needs to be grieved.
I was recently out at the TPM ranch, and I had a vision of the landscape in front. It was a meadow, and then there was a hill, and then some trees, and then a cemetery, and then mountains beyond that.
I remember wanting to do everything “I’m free now. I want to get out and go and do everything” and just remembering that I’m still in the meadow. The meadow is the reflective time of grieving and making sure that you’re clear on things.
And as I’ve gone over that meadow and I’m climbing up this hill now, I’m putting things to rest in the cemetery, and then the snow-topped mountains are beyond, you know, the whole rest of my life.
But I think it’s important to take it slow. Not do anything out of haste or rush or reaction. Just allow it to flow. As I was reminded yesterday, “wolf” is “flow” backwards.
Tim Matthews 28:23
That’s awesome. I’ve never realized that. Awesome.
Stephen 28:28
I kind of feel that there’s validation in the approach that he’s taken, whether it’s a test or not a test, and whatever the outcome is, to continue with that.
Some of the methods that you teach us around staying grounded, staying curious, staying a bit indifferent to outcomes, serve him and serve his wife for the best, whatever the outcome is. So to continue with the same approach, whether it’s a test or not, that will give… I’m seeing, obviously, that plays out for people whatever happens with their relationships or other aspects of their life.
It’s just that grounded curiosity, and it keeps channels of communication open.
My first marriage ended in divorce about 10 or 12 years ago, but one thing we were able to do was keep good channels of communication open, which was very helpful, particularly with my two boys. It’s invaluable. Some of that is going to come into play whatever happens whether they’ve got kids that are grown or whatever to have an open channel and to be able to part on good terms, if that’s what happens.
Lawrence 29:38
If this had happened to me five years ago, before I joined the movement, I would have been a crumbling heap on the floor. I certainly wouldn’t be here today doing this. I would have been in pieces because my whole worth was wrapped up in the relationship and what it stood for and what I was as a man.
It was everything.
I’ve got to a stage where I’m not pushed and pulled by the circumstance. And if it’s time, then it’s time. And that’s cool with me, because my worth comes from within and not from the circumstances or the relationship or whatever.
Tim Matthews 30:10
I think, just imagining guys listening to this or watching this, an important point is that regardless of whether the marriage thrives or ends, that key point of your worth not being attached to the relationship is a key transition. Let’s call it that.
It’s a key thing you have to work on and get in place, because until you get that perspective and belief in place and yes, there are things you get to do, beliefs you get to have, habits you’ll instill, certain things you’ll do that actually reflect in the world the fact that, hey, my worth isn’t tied to the marriage that’s a very healthy place for a marriage to thrive from.
And it’s also a very healthy place to move on from too. It’s kind of a win-win.
But I can imagine a lot of guys listening to this being like, “Oh, right, yep, my worth is tied up in the marriage. I need to stop that.” And then thinking the marriage will end at that point.
No, guys. You get to stop it because ultimately your worth being tied up in the marriage is codependence. Ultimately, it’s a form of codependence.
And whenever there’s codependence in the relationship, you’re going to be reactive to whatever the temperature is of the relationship. You’re going to internalize a lot of things, and it just isn’t going to work from that spot. Communication breaks down, there are more arguments, and all sorts of things go on with it. It’s unhealthy and unhelpful for everybody.
And the other side of that is it can thrive when you’re able to reclaim your sense of individuality within the relationship and your sense of worth.
Lawrence 32:06
And my marriage picked up massively, you know. I think you’re right. Whatever you’ve got inside is where it should come from. That wellspring from within you, and then you can achieve anything.
I think the harder route is to stay in the marriage because there’s going to be baggage there. There’s going to be a lot more work to do. In some respects, from my experience, it’s been easier to step out and say, you know, we got to a point where it was time.
But I think it really can be difficult perhaps the more difficult route to stay in the marriage and work through the baggage.
Tim Matthews 32:53
The key thing with you, though, is you guys both tried everything. You know? So you guys, in my opinion, from the outside looking in, reached a point where you can both hand on heart say, “Hey, we did our best.” To your wife’s point, ex-wife, “It’s completed.” And you can both feel really good about that.
And I think if a couple doesn’t do that and they divorce, oftentimes not always, but oftentimes those resentments they’ve built can really come out to play. They can come out to play in the games that people then play, be it with custody for the kids or whatever. There are all sorts of ways it plays out.
So from my perspective personally, I’d rather know that I’ve done everything I can. We have done everything we can. Because obviously, you worked on yourself, you worked as a couple, you worked with somebody. Your ex-wife did things for herself as well.
So it really puts you guys in a great place to be able to look back with fondness, with gratitude, versus with either regret or contempt or “what if,” right?
But I think for my advice for this guy, let’s say his wife isn’t testing him and it’s the truth, I think what you guys have said is spot on.
For me, the one piece of advice I’d probably give him is make sure that you continue to let whatever fire or fuel is within you burn clean. It’s got to burn clean.
And coincidentally, yesterday I took the guys in the Inner Circle through a training on the dark masculine. You’re not familiar? Which I want to talk to you guys about. And one of the pieces of that was really honing in on being lovingly fierce. And the first element of that is you’ve got to be lovingly fierce toward yourself before you channel it into the areas of your life.
And having certain things under voluntary control, and thus ensuring that they burn clean. He said yesterday was perfect timing for him to go through that because it then armed him and put him in a certain mindset and with a certain skill set going into the conversation with his wife that night.
But that’d be my advice to him. Just making sure that that fuel continues to burn clean. Continue with the curiosity. Continue with wanting the best thing for her, the best thing for you. Continue with just engaging.
Lawrence 35:41
You want to be able to finish and say you’ve done everything you can do in order to achieve what you want. I think that’s a really good place to be from. And that “burning clean” is like, get it out, get it all out, but make sure it’s clean. I think that’s important.
Tim Matthews 36:05
The Ascension Blueprint that we’ve just relaunched I said on the last episode we have a lot of guys coming in there that have been on the back of divorce. Divorced maybe a year ago, 18 months ago. Some of them are going through it. And they’re in this place where we call it “the drift.” They’re just drifting, right? Just drifting through life. They’ve lost touch with that fire, that spark.
And it’s great to see the guys going through the program, getting reacclimated with who they are and what they want, going through The Alpha Reset, really reconnecting to themselves and leaving the drift behind and leveling up. It’s incredible. It really is.
Stephen 36:49
It’s so good to witness people going through it.
Tim Matthews 36:53
Ah, it’s incredible, right? And obviously there are other guys in there that are married as well, but they’re still in the drift, right? They’re in this place where they’re just drifting a little bit aimlessly, wondering, “Where am I going? What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Who am I?”
And they don’t have anyone to turn to because externally they have all this success, so nobody understands it. “What do you have to complain about? You’ve got this, you’ve got that, you’ve got the other.”
So it’s great. You know what it’s like. You guys have been there. It’s awesome that they get to do it.
Anyway, guys, thank you. Another great episode. Thank you.
So guys, like Doug always likes to say, in the moment of insight, take massive action. We’ll see you next time on the TPM show.
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