Episode #682
What is the deeper motivation that drives successful men beyond the pursuit of money and external validation?
For many men, early success is often defined by chasing external markers of achievement, such as wealth, status, and security. However, as you mature and accumulate these external trappings, a void can emerge. The pursuit of more money no longer satisfies their inner longing for meaning and contribution.
This realization prompts a shift in focus towards mission-based work, where the emphasis lies on making a positive impact on others and finding fulfillment through helping and connecting with people.
In this episode, Tim and Arthur discuss the importance of finding a mission and purpose beyond your financial achievements.
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Transcription
Tim Matthews 00:50
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Powerful Man Show. I’m your host, Tim Matthews, with my co-host, Arthur Magoulianiti.
Arthur Magoulianiti 01:01
Hey! Hey, guys. Hey, Tim. How are we doing?
Tim Matthews 01:04
I’m doing well, brother. Isn’t it cool to think right now there’s an Alpha Reset going on? Stay to give me a quick message this morning in which touched ever so briefly on day one? And he said he went really well. Said day one went really well. I said day two. There’s a couple of guys still lurking in the background. We now day two goes so for those of you that don’t know the listeners. So the Alpha Reset is a transformational event that we do here at the Powerful Man, which kind of ties into the topic that we’ll get into in a minute around mission and purpose.
Hundreds of guys have been through it by this point, I don’t know how many hundreds, but definitely hundreds. And to say that we cap it at nine men, well, we’ve had up to eleven. We don’t really go beyond that. So we like to keep the groups very small and intimate so we can make sure the men get the attention they need in order to create the result. Everything we do at TPM is all about getting the result. Arthur you are smiling because obviously the alpha reset, you one of the key leaders of it. I think you’ve just delivered one a couple of weeks ago. You delivered quite a few this year, actually. I think you’ve got some more lined up. Yeah, it holds dear to all of our hearts, right?
Arthur Magoulianiti 02:13
Yeah, I love it. I love it. The work that the guys do on those three days is just amazing. The transformation that happens, it’s just like, we’ve done a few of these now and we should be used to seeing the results that these guys get. And every time it’s just like, oh, wow. Oh my God, you know. And yeah, it’s just the most amazing place to be on the end of that during the whole process, of course, and just to see the shift, but at the end of that, just to see their faces coming out on the back end of those three days is just like amazing.
Tim Matthews 02:48
Yeah. I wrote a post, actually, a couple of months ago. I think if I recall correctly, at that point, we’d done about 40 Alpha Resets over the past few years, obviously with COVID that stopped to it for a couple of years. So yeah, you would think after 40 plus you get used to it, but you just don’t. It’s incredible. Everyone’s slightly unique, or very unique, rather.
Arthur Magoulianiti 03:14
Yeah. And I think you just get carried away with the difference in their journeys. Similar issues, obviously, similar stuff, but everyone’s got their own story and every story is different. And so you just get really caught up with all of their stories and the individual journeys. And each Alpha Reset is so unique because the energy that the guys bring is so unique. Every toy is different, every tie is different, and it really depends. And it’s a bit of a surprise to see what energy lands at that alpha reset. Sometimes it’s humorous, sometimes it’s very serious, but that’s half the fun. It’s just like, what do you get to play with, you know?
Tim Matthews 03:56
Yeah, for sure. Well, let’s dive into the topic. You brought a great topic to the table. Do you want to tell the listeners why you wanted to talk about this topic?
Arthur Magoulianiti 04:06
Yeah, the topic all about mission, purpose, even mastery, I guess, comes up to this, is that quite a few guys that we’re working with at the moment have been really successful in their businesses. They’ve made a bit of money, or a lot of money. They might be in their 40s, 45s now, maybe getting onto their 50s. There seems to be a shift in their focus and not in the sense of like they have a rumbling about it’s not about more money, it’s not about another business. It kind of confuses them because for most guys, all they chase is money, certainty, business, significance.
And suddenly that is no longer motivated for them. It doesn’t hit the same buttons that it used to, and it confuses them because obviously they know how they’ve been showing up the last couple of years and suddenly that’s not ticking the boxes. So what’s going on, you know? It’s interesting to note, and I’ll take this back to the human needs that we talk about, you know, the six human needs. And just for the guys out there, six human needs are significance and certainty. Right? It’s love and connection, it’s uncertainty, it’s growth and its contribution. Okay?
Now, most guys, when they set up and let me not make this about just the guys, I think it’s across the board, but most people go out and chase significance and certainty, you know. Significance is like, look at what I’ve achieved. It’s a little bit of the ego, it’s the outside in, it’s the validation. Look at me, I’ve done this, I’ve done this. Certainty is I’ve got the money, so now I’m safe because, you know there’s a belief that many have that with money, then I’m safe. Then things are secure. We know that’s not true, right? However, that’s what many people chase. And those kind of needs are outside in, right? Those kind of needs of needs, of the personality, of the ego. However, they don’t really satisfy you because you’re always chasing something outside of you.
Now if you go to other side of the equation, then we’ve got contribution, we’ve got growth, we got love and connection. Now this is the area that most of these guys tend to have to start looking into in order to fill that gap that they’re now feeling later on in their careers, later on in their lives because more money doesn’t cut it anymore. You know, like, okay, you got the house, you got the car, you maybe even got the boat. Now where are you going to spend your money? It doesn’t hit the same areas. And so they get start looking at what would and contribution, growth, love and connection. Those are all inside out, right? All inside out.
And if you get those three right, then you start getting significance and certainty as well. But you get it from the right place and not from the head or the ego. If you’re really good at what you’re doing and you’re contributing to the people around you, you get significance. But it’s the real type of significance. It’s the natural, it’s the authentic type. You get the certainty because you know that you can help people. They know that you’re there for them. You’re connecting with them through love. So it changes the ballpark and you get everything you want, right? And back to mission.
When we see the guys who have created success in their lives outside, now, it really starts meaning more for them to go and do things for the more altruistic reasons, you know, taking their expertise and going out and making an impact to people not for the money, but for the contribution. And the more they contribute, the more fulfilled they feel. And so a lot of the work we’re doing with this range of guys is really about making that transition from more to more mission based work.
And so we start talking about and I’m going off on a tangent here so then we start looking at what could we go from a career focus to mission focus, you know? And then it’s like, how do you go out and create impact for people out there based on the experience that you’ve created over the years, on the learnings that you have, on the skills that you develop, taking that out and where mission is for people outside of you? We also talk about purpose, which is all about you. What do you love to do, what is your purpose as far as your life?
So, you know, my purpose may be like, I just want to become the best I can possibly learn as much as I can, show up as powerfully as I can. You create the most amazing life that I can. All right, that’s all about me and my family, I guess. All right, so that could be my purpose. My mission is how do I take that and benefit others outside of myself? And once we’ve got those two things dialed in, then the world is your oyster because you can go out there and just contribute, you know. And to the degree you contribute, I think that gives you rise to absolute fulfillment. Something that money could never touch.
Tim Matthews 09:16
Beautiful. Yeah. We see it a lot with the men, right? They reach this point, especially when they go through the alpha reset. This isn’t a plug for the alpha reset, but just one of the fastest ways for the men to really take off the veil and realize what truly matters to them. Right? In doing so, they come out of it and not only they see a huge shift in themselves, but also the other men in the room. They begin to see life very differently and begins to get very clear to them what’s important to them.
Hence, mission and purpose. I mean, yesterday, I don’t know if you saw it, but obviously we’ve got a position open within the movement for a Client Success Account Manager. So it’s basically somebody who nurtures a relationship with the men as they move through process in the movement. And I just shared it in our private community workplace. It’s got 1000 or so men in there that are all in the programs and tons of men raised their hand wanting to find out more. We’ve got lots of people on the team that have left their businesses, left what they were doing because they wanted to get involved in something that created more meaningful impact in the world. And I think it’s inevitable, right?
We all reach a point in our life where we begin to question things am I doing the right thing? Do I really want to make money this way? Or we can often feel a bit of a slave to money, trapped by the business. The business creates more feelings of being trapped than feelings of freedom or even feelings of emptiness than abundance for some guys, right? Because earning money in a very hollow, empty way, that doesn’t mean anything for them.
Maybe even selling a product or doing something that is harmful to the world in some way, right? So usually this transition catches up with all of us, if not all of us, definitely catches up with the right kind of guys, but the guys that have the right kind of ethics, guys that we would call powerful men, quite frankly.
Arthur Magoulianiti 11:03
Yeah. And I think the more you’re in this conversation, like the guys in this movement, the more they realize there’s more out there for them. And what they chasing is just that deeper level of fulfillment, much deeper than just satisfaction. Much deeper than just, like, success. It’s actually fulfillment. And that’s a deep, deep, deep feeling. And most of our guys actually look for that. They move towards that, which is great because it’s a testament to the kind of guys we have and we attract here.
And I think that’s a natural conclusion or progression, should I say, of guys on the path of self-growth. It’s just like, okay, I’ve taken care of myself. Now who else can I help? Who else can I take along on this journey? And whether, you know, they take what they learn here or the experience that they have and go out there and help other guys do the same or other people do the same, that’s the direction many of these guys are starting to take now and are starting to look at. And it’s great because we need more people out there to do great things to improve as well, you know.
Tim Matthews 12:11
Yeah, start to transcend what money can buy, right? In the beginning, they’re so focused on passing on what money can buy, be it possessions, be it money in the bank account, whatever it may be. And as they go through the journey, they begin to realize it’s more about what you can pass on that money can’t buy. The values, the lessons, how your life can serve as a lesson, right? We speak a lot of the alpha reset, but would your life be a warning or an example?
Something to avoid or something to model? I think a lot of these men really make that transition in wanting to create a life of meaning. Something that means something to them while they’re still here, but also something that really provides an example of how to live to their kids or whoever matters to them by then being able to look at how they lived and what they created and such. It’s a beautiful, beautiful transition for the men to be in.
So let’s say we’ve got some listeners resonating with this idea, right? They can realize they’ve kind of been stuck on the hamster wheel of hustle. They’ve made money, but they feel kind of trapped by the business. They’re craving something more. They can feel as though they want more meaning in their life, something’s lacking and missing. This idea of mission and purpose really calls to them. What can they do to get clearer on their mission and purpose?
Arthur Magoulianiti 13:33
Well, one is to get clear on the understanding of what is purpose, what is mission? Your purpose is like why are you here on this world at the moment? Right? What inspires you? What brings you purpose? What brings you passion? What are you passionate about? And then how can you take all of that to help other people? Now, helping other people can be as simple. And not that I would recommend it is just sending a check to a charity, yeah. But obviously there’s no real connection there. It’s just lobbying something over the fence, you know. But how can you bring your skills, your experience to help other people?
And maybe, you know, if you grade at business, you can go train youngsters in business, you know, that’s your contribution and you don’t do it for money necessarily. I mean, you could get paid and depending on the circumstances, I’m not saying that we’re ruling that out, but you’re not doing it for that purpose. That would be a bonus. You’re doing it because you want to go out there and help others. So how many different ways can you find to help others to give?
It could be walking in and buying coffee for the next ten people at the local Starbucks, you know, by dropping some money. That’s contribution, it could be there’s 100 things you could do to contribute. But if we’re talking about mission specifically is like, okay, having experienced everything you have in your life, right? What part of that can you take out to help others, you know? Is it a segment of people that you’d love that you’re really passionate about?
Kids, guys, women, old people, young people, veterans, right, that you can actually go out there and use your skills, your experience, your level of financial ability to help those individuals, to get them a result faster than maybe they would have to create systems, to create practices, to create support for them in a way that perhaps isn’t there at the moment and help them get to their goals sooner than later.
Tim Matthews 15:27
Beautiful. I love it. Any final words?
Arthur Magoulianiti 15:30
Yeah, I think start contributing today. And the question to ask yourself is, where can I contribute outside of myself? All too often, we focus on ourselves, ourselves, ourselves, ourselves. And that’s actually the source of depression, you know, because we start focusing inwards. But the reality is once we start focusing outwards to help other people, strangely enough, that depression usually lifts. That confusion, that frustration about ourselves usually lifts.
And so where can you contribute today? Who can you impact today positively? Could be a smile on the tube, you know, to someone. It could be, like I say, a coffee in the Starbucks. It could be that you go volunteer some time at a local shelter. What fills you up, you know? What do you think, what interests you? But go start doing it today. Don’t wait for one day. Start doing it today.
Tim Matthews 16:21
I love that. Yeah. If you’re anything like the men in the movement, then this will be an itch that you have been avoiding scratching and what you are going to get back in return for contributing today. Or even surrendering to the idea that you are going to find out what your purpose of mission is. It will fill your life in ways that you don’t even realize. We spoke on the last episode around The Art of Receiving. You combine this with the art of receiving as well. Not to make it about yourself by any means, but the levels of fulfillment to Arthur’s point, that you’ll have in your life, the levels of freedom. And it’s freedom that money can’t buy because typically wherever you go, you take yourself with you.
So if you’re avoiding scratching, that itch. You’re going to take that with you. Whether you’re on the yacht, the private plane, a Disney cruise, wherever it may be, right? You are going to take yourself with you. So when you give yourself permission and scratch that itch, you’re going to get bounties of benefits that you’re not even aware of. It’s going to do wonders for your mental health. It’s going to do wonders for your emotional health, be spiritual health, for your self-esteem, for your self-image, and you’re just going to feel free. So until next time, thank you for tuning in to another episode of The Powerful Man Show. Mr. MoGoo, thank you very much, brother, for your wisdom and your time. And we’ll see you next time. Bye bye for Powerful Man Show.
