Sex and Intimacy: What Men Need to Know

Episode #1198

Many married men eventually reach a frustrating conclusion about their relationship: they convince themselves that their wife simply lost her sex drive or is no longer interested in intimacy. As the frequency of physical connection drops, husbands often attribute the distance to age, stress, or natural life changes. However, the reality inside most sexless marriages is far more direct. In the vast majority of cases, a woman has not lost her sexual desire; she has specifically lost her desire for physical connection with her husband under the current relationship dynamics.

In this episode, Doug Holt and his wife Erin break down the common misconceptions men hold regarding female sexuality and intimacy in marriage. Erin shares insights from her female coaching clients and personal network, confirming that 90% to 95% of women deeply desire passionate, connected, and exciting sex with their partners. When a wife pulls back from physical touch, it is rarely due to a lack of appetite. Instead, it is usually a reaction to a husband who has let himself go, behaves like another child to manage, or fails to cultivate emotional safety in the home.

The discussion outlines essential truths every husband needs to understand about female desire:

• The Myth of the Asexual Wife: Understanding that women crave variety, passion, and emotional connection in the bedroom, often turning to romantic literature or fantasies when those needs go unmet at home.
• Emotional Safety as a Prerequisite: Recognizing that female arousal relies heavily on feeling emotionally secure, seen, and valued rather than stressed or managed.
• Reclaiming Personal Mojo: How stepping out of needy, passive patterns and standing in authentic masculine confidence instantly shifts household energy and attraction.
• Open Exploration and Communication: Utilizing structured tools like preference sheets to safely discuss desires, boundaries, and fantasies without judgment.

Overcoming a sexless dynamic requires a husband to stop relying on excuses and begin addressing how he shows up daily. By discovering how to seduce your wife through emotional presence and applying principles to reignite your sex life, men can transform cold, transactional marriages into deeply passionate, connected partnerships.

Timestamp Chapters

00:00 - Introduction: The Myth of the Uninterested Wife
01:31 - What Percentage of Married Women Actually Want More Intimacy?
02:26 - The Hard Truth: She Wants Sex, Just Not Under Current Dynamics
04:10 - Responsive Desire and the Need for Emotional Space
05:38 - Doug Holt Mid-Roll: A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage
06:47 - The Female Sexual Spectrum: From Loving Touch to Raw Passion
08:10 - What Erotica and Bestselling Books Reveal About Female Fantasy
10:15 - How Emotional Safety Directly Controls Bedroom Intimacy
12:34 - Case Study: How Reclaiming Masculine Confidence Restored Intimacy
15:34 - What a Wife Feels Inside a Cold, Sexless Marriage
18:13 - Carrying the Energy During Perimenopause and Life Shifts
20:07 - Breaking Taboos: Using Preference Sheets to Open Communication
23:30 - What Women Want Most: Feeling Adored and Desired
25:55 - Closing Remarks and Taking Massive Action

RELATED EPISODES

• 3 Reasons Your Wife Isn’t Having Sex With You: A Woman’s POV 
  
• Unlocking True Intimacy: Why Her Trust and Safety Are the Keys 
• Making Her Want You Again 
• Unlocking Intimacy: Reigniting Passion in Your Relationship 

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my wife seem completely uninterested in sex?
A wife's lack of interest in sex is rarely a total loss of libido. In most cases, she pulls back because she feels emotionally disconnected, overwhelmed by household management, or turned off by needy and passive behaviors. When emotional safety and masculine leadership are restored, her sexual desire naturally returns.

Do women really want as much physical intimacy as men?
Yes, the vast majority of married women hold a deep desire for passionate, connected, and varied sexual intimacy. However, female desire is often responsive and closely tied to emotional relaxation, trust, and feeling genuinely adored by her husband.

How can a husband reignite intimacy if physical connection has completely stopped?
A husband must begin by leading himself and rebuilding emotional safety. Stopping needy behaviors, taking full ownership of household responsibilities, and showing up with consistent, grounded confidence creates the environment necessary for a wife to drop her defenses and re-engage physically.

How can couples safely talk about bedroom preferences without feeling awkward?
Couples can use structured preference sheets (categorized by yes, no, or open-to-try) to explore desires, boundaries, and fantasies without pressure. Communicating open options removes performance anxiety and creates a fun, collaborative dynamic in the relationship.

Transcription

Doug Holt 00:00

My wife, she's just not interested in sex, or she's not interested in intimacy.

Erin Holt 00:03

Oh my God, my wife just doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. I'm like, "Ah, I don't know what to do."

Doug Holt 00:08

It is a slap across the head.

Erin Holt 00:10

It's lonely and painful for everybody involved.

Doug Holt 00:13

Women not only want intimacy; they want hot, passionate, connected sex.

Erin Holt 00:19

I've had many women clients. We have a deep sexual desire inside of us.

Doug Holt 00:24

"I just want someone to F me."

Erin Holt

Yeah.

Doug Holt

"I just want to be F'ed."

Erin Holt

Yep.

Doug Holt 00:41

Hey guys, is your wife uninterested in intimacy, sex, or just even going into the bedroom? Well, let me tell you something. Your wife may be a lot more interested in intimacy than you think, and that's what we're going to talk about today on the TPM Show.

Erin, thanks for being here.

Think about wives, I guess. This is something that I've gotten a lot over the past decade, these guys like, "Doug, my wife, she's just not interested in sex," or, "She's not interested in intimacy," or whatever version of that comes up with them.

I have my canned responses. I mean, doing this for so long, my responses are almost canned because it's very similar questions coming, and I've answered them so many times.

So before I give my answer, which you already, I think, know what it is—

Erin Holt 01:29

I do know.

Doug Holt 01:31

Do you know any women that are experiencing, would like more intimacy than they're getting?

Erin Holt 01:35

I sure do. I know many.

Doug Holt 01:39

What percentage? I know you're going to make up a number, but you're going to round. You're going to give us an idea because you know a lot of women, and the women you hang with are of a high caliber.

So you're a little bit of an outlier because I would guess that the number you're going to give us, the real number, is higher. But what would you say?

Erin Holt 02:01

Between my clients and just being a woman and having friends, I would say 90 to 95%.

Doug Holt 02:08

Yep, that's what I thought. So 90 to 95%.

When guys ask me that question, you want to role-play? You be the guy and ask me. Tell me your wife doesn't—

Erin Holt 02:20

So I'm a guy? "Oh my God, my wife just doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. I don't know what to do."

Doug Holt 02:26

I'd say, "You know what? That's not true. The truth is she just doesn't want to have sex with you."

So that's literally what I tell guys, and it is a slap across the head.

Doug Holt 02:37

But that's my coaching. My coaching style is very blunt and honest because that's the way I want people to talk to me.

When I tell them that, it often catches them off guard. Then I follow up with, "Do you know how many copies of Fifty Shades of Grey were sold?"

If you think women aren't interested in intimacy, you are very wrong. And gentlemen listening to this, go just do a quick Google. Women not only want intimacy; they want hot, passionate, connected sex.

Erin Holt 03:10

Boom. Podcast over.

Doug Holt 03:13

And so, if your woman isn't interested in that with you, there's a couple things that could be happening.

One is she's interested, just not with you. There's probably strife in the relationship.

Now, there are times where there's medical considerations. Maybe her father just died. There's things that could be happening in that season, but that's got to be a season, guys, because guys will make up all kinds of excuses.

But outside of that, she probably either doesn't feel safe, doesn't find you sexy anymore because of the way you're behaving, the way you're showing up, or you've just let yourself go mentally, spiritually, and physically. Oftentimes, it's all three of those.

When a guy lets himself go, he just lets himself go. She still wants intimacy and sex, but there's no spark there anymore for her. It's not interesting.

Erin Holt 04:10

Yeah, and we all know this is a super lonely place to be in marriage when it's basically sexless or very little connected sex. It's lonely and painful for everybody involved.

Also, our intimacy and our sexual world operates very different than men's, and I think most people know this now. But a very simple way to put it is, we're not always ready at the drop of a hat. I know not every man is too, but it's a little more responsive, usually.

Also, it usually requires a little space so that we can connect to that part of ourselves and aren't in running-the-business mode, running-the-house mode, taking-care-of-the-kids mode, cleaning-up-after-dinner mode, all the things that are required in our life that get really busy. And I know men do a lot too.

Do you want me to go more into the woman needing space to connect with herself?

Doug Holt 04:59

No, not really, because that's not what this is about. We can go into that another time.

What I want to speak to is the guys out there who have sold themselves the notion that their particular wife doesn't want sex, who, of course, is different than all the other ones, isn't interested in sex or doesn't want sex at all.

They think that the age she's at, the part of life she's at, the time she's at, she just isn't interested in sex or things like that.

Erin Holt 05:28

Well, I'm a woman. I have many women friends. I've had many women clients. We have a deep sexual desire inside of us.

Doug Holt 05:37

One hundred percent.

Erin Holt 05:38

We have different ranges of sexuality, meaning we like the type of sex, the way it makes us feel. So there's certain times that we're gonna want to feel made love to.

Doug Holt 05:54

I want to buy you a gift. Look, if your marriage is struggling, and let's be real, every marriage struggles at some point, but yours is struggling where you've lost that love, admiration, respect, I want to help you.

I want to buy you a copy of the book that I wrote, A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It. In here, I've distilled over eight years of programs that we've developed at TPM to help men just like you save their marriages without talking about it.

There's no fluff, no BS. It's an action plan that you can start using today to actually save your marriage and bring that love and respect back into your family, back into your house. You deserve it.

Look, all I ask is you pay the postage, you pay the shipping. I'll buy the book for you. That way, you can take massive action today.

Click the link or find it in the bio and get your copy now.

Erin Holt 06:47

Certain times we're gonna want it to be dirty. There's certain times we're gonna want it to be role-play. We have a range inside of us, in our femininity and our sexuality.

I hear a lot of stories. I hear a lot of wants and fantasies, and I also know that most women I know really want this with their husband.

Doug Holt 07:13

I'm laughing over here because I remember—this just came to me.

So in Santa Barbara, we had a training studio. On the second floor is where I ran the other businesses, and it was an open loft. You had a woman come in. I'll describe her as more of an accountant type. Do you know who I'm talking about already?

What happens, for those listening, is think of a high-end personal training studio for fitness. I'm upstairs. You come in with her, turn the lights on because the lights are off downstairs. No one really knows. You probably knew I was upstairs, but maybe not working.

You guys are chit-chatting as you're starting to exercise, and she's married. She's a married woman, and she said, "I just want someone to F me."

Erin Holt

Yeah.

Doug Holt

"I just want to be F'ed."

Erin Holt

Yep.

Doug Holt

I remember that going, "Oh," because she did seem like a very conservative type.

Doug Holt 08:10

This is going to reveal something about me.

I created, about a year ago, a custom GPT for ChatGPT, and this was a way that I wanted to connect with you more. I would put the books that you were reading at the time, and I would go, "Well, if you're into reading them, I want to know what they're about, regardless of what they are," and so I can ask you questions and things.

I don't know if you remember this or noticed. I mean, I've told you I did this, but I'd be like, "Hey, where are you in this book?" And I would know kind of the plotline that was going, and it was just a fun way for me to get into your world.

Doug Holt 08:50

I quickly realized—and you were reading these books from women's book club, which I'm pretty sure is just a drinking club—but women's book club, and I was like, "These are like erotica books disguised," and they're bestsellers.

Fast forward through that year—it was more than a year ago I did that—but every once in a while, when I hear this from a guy, "My wife's just not as interested in intimacy."

In fact, I was working with one of the guys at the Inner Circle through this different problem, but similar vein. I go, "Is your wife into erotica, that kind of stuff?"

"No, no, she's not. Very conservative background. Very heavily, very conservative Christian family."

I go, "All right, here's what I want to do. Here's a link to the custom GPT I created. I want you to go take a picture of the last five books she's read, or books on her bookshelf, and run them through this GPT."

He comes back and he's like, "Oh my gosh."

I go, "Yeah, it's not a book about a drama about a wayward woman who ends up going to the country and meeting a cowboy. The murder's in there, but this is all fantasy land for women."

It's probably great writing too, and that's why they become bestsellers, and a lot of women are attracted to that. They're living their fantasies out through the books.

I was like, "Shoot, my wife's going into her fantasy in the books. I'm jumping in. I'm not smart, but I'm not dumb."

That also showcases to me this idea that the men would say, "My wife, she's just not interested in sex." It's not true.

Go look at the books she's reading. Go look at the evidence. She's just not interested in sex with you.

Most of the times when I've talked to some of the guys' wives, really it's the way he's showing up. He's showing up as another child, and they're showing up as needy, or he's so withdrawn and stonewalling that she can't get through.

She's put up her walls. His walls are up, and so they can't see each other or reach each other. Therefore, she doesn't feel safe. She doesn't feel connection.

And I need to say this: she's not saying she doesn't feel physically safe. She doesn't feel emotionally safe to connect with him.

Without connection, it makes it very difficult at times for women to crave intimacy with that person.

Conversely, and we've done this before, we're like, "Hey, we're not connected. Let's just go have sex."

Erin Holt 11:29

We just need this.

Doug Holt 11:30

Yeah, and it works for us because I know I feel more connected after sex, and you need connection before, generally speaking.

That's what the guys are missing, and that's why so many guys go, "Hey, I've gone through the program. I'm using the skills, and all of a sudden, my wife..."

Okay, I was talking to—I'll share this story with you. I got to be careful which stories I share because I know the wives listen to this too. Sorry, ladies, but your husband was bragging about you for this one.

This guy came onto the call, and not bragging at all. I've known this guy for a while. I've been working with him. I'm like, "Man, you look tired."

He goes, "She would not leave me alone."

He went from divorce on the table, no intimacy at all in the relationship—I mean, none, dead, sexless marriage—and now they're having so much sex, this guy shows up to my call exhausted.

Erin Holt 12:34

I know many things changed, but bullet point, what changed to create that?

Doug Holt 12:38

He owned himself. He turned everything around. He was classic Mr. Nice Guy. She described him as needy, so I did have a chance to talk to her. She described him as very needy.

He just owned himself.

Basically, what I did with him is I got him back to when he was in his 20s, that feeling of having your mojo and everything of who he is, and he claimed, like, stepping on his throne.

Doug Holt 13:08

He claimed that part of himself naturally and authentically inside of him, and that energy just radiated.

I got to be careful about all the things I share, but he has done a complete 180 in the best of ways. He just refound himself.

Doug Holt 13:25

He refound himself, the man.

I'll ask guys, I go, "Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who's staring back at you, or have a hard time connecting with that guy?" And 10 times out of 10, yes.

"Don't you always know there's something more?" They got this innate sense that there's something more.

That's all I did. I just chiseled all that BS off of him so he could be who he really was. Which, of course, surprise, surprise, she always knew—

Doug Holt 13:52

—she always knew him to be. It's the guy she was attracted to at the beginning.

Now you have two people that are supposed to be completely sexless. They got young kids. They got the whole thing, working businesses, all that stuff. All the reasons people don't have sex, they have it all.

But then, I mean, it's to the point where he's just like, "Hey, take it easy."

It's not every week for them, but it's a lot of the time now where he's just like, "Wow." He's like, "Everything's on the table. I mean, everything."

Erin Holt 14:24

How incredible. We have a range, as I said.

Doug Holt 14:29

Yeah. And so that life is so much better.

Doug Holt 14:32

And it's not just the sex.

Erin Holt 14:34

No.

Doug Holt 14:34

When I talk to guys, some wives get upset. They think their husbands join TPM just to get laid more, and they'll say that.

There was a time when we had a marketing team—this is probably six years ago—that would say, "Get more sex and intimacy in your marriage." That was a line that they put in our ads or something when I wasn't following as closely.

Women would get upset, like, "Hey, this is what you just want, to have more sex, manipulate me."

None of the guys came in for that.

If I asked them, "Do you just want more sex, or do you want more connected, passionate sex?"

Like, "Yes, I want that. I want passion. I want intimacy."

Doug Holt 15:13

"I don't want just a partner to masturbate with. I want the real deal. I want my wife and share that experience with her."

Erin Holt 15:21

I mean, what a life change. You experience your partner totally different, experience yourself totally different, experience your life totally different.

Everything's better when you have enjoyable, connected, hot intimacy. It just is.

Doug Holt 15:34

Yeah. And then the house is better, the fights are less, the kids are now in an environment of harmony, of balance.

The kids might not know what's going on, but they know the energy of your house.

Erin Holt 15:46

The tension.

Doug Holt

The tension.

Erin Holt

Well, that's one of the biggest things you said. Yes, he came back into himself, but his energy changed.

Doug Holt 15:52

One hundred percent. His energy changed.

Erin Holt 15:53

Everything's energy.

Doug Holt 15:55

With everything being energy, put yourself—pick a friend right now who is in that state where they're in a sexless marriage that you're aware of, or client, whichever one you want to pick.

What is going through her mind right now? Imagine her husband's on the other side. I'm sure you can pick somebody where he's thinking, though, she must just not be interested in sex.

What's going on in her mind?

Erin Holt 16:23

Oh, so many things. It's just like a whirlwind of things.

Underneath all the anger and the disgust—I will say that word comes up—the resentment, she's really sad.

Erin Holt 16:38

She's really hurt. She's lonely. There's part of her that's like, "Is he even attracted to me anymore? Is he gonna go find somebody else? I want this with him, but the way we are right now, it's not attractive."

It's a whole whirlwind of emotions and fear. Fear and sadness are the bigger ones underneath all the anger and the disgust and everything like that.

It's like, "How did we get here? What did I do wrong?"

There is a lot of that. And also, there's a part of her that's dead, just like with the guys too. It's like a part of her that's dead.

Most women aren't going to go outside their marriage, and so when that part of her isn't getting met, that's also the part of her that shows up again, is not the best part of herself, where she's more critical, she's shorter, she's disconnected from a whole part of her being, of her sexuality and shared sexuality.

But also really being like, "Hey, it's a really big honor that I get to share my body with you." We get to a stage of life, and this needs to be respected and have some reverence for me and the gift of me.

Having a man that can bring that energy in him too is very different than, "I need to get laid." It's not attractive.

Doug Holt 17:59

Yeah. I'll work on my lines.

Shoot, I was going to say something about a conversation. As you were speaking, a conversation I had with another man recently came up. He's actually in a great marriage.

Doug Holt 18:13

His marriage is great. His wife is going through perimenopause, and she approached him and said, "Hey, I want you, but I've lost desire for sex. So I need you to carry us."

He and I worked on that, which brought back her desire. We worked on his energy and what have you, and what he was doing and how he could support her with that.

Erin Holt 18:39

Really cool.

Doug Holt 18:40

Yeah. Cajones on this guy to approach me and say, "Hey—"

Doug Holt 18:46

"My marriage is great, but this is what I want to work on."

How cool of her to come to him and say, "Look, I love you. I'm attracted to you. I want you, and my body is just changing right now, so I just don't have that desire. So I need you to carry us."

Dude, this guy stepped up.

Erin Holt 19:03

So cool.

Doug Holt 19:04

This guy stepped up. There were a lot of things that I was coaching him through—

Doug Holt 19:09

—that he was uncomfortable with, very uncomfortable.

He had a very, I would say, extreme religious background, fundamentalist background, and so we had to take him outside of his old beliefs, his old conversations.

Guys, his whole family is right, and it's just absolutely amazing.

I think the underlying current that men need to learn about this is—which this is what would kill me—is, you said this to me one time. It's like, "I don't feel safe."

I was like, "Well, how do you not feel safe? I've never hit you."

That's why I learned about emotional safety. Your wife is just not emotionally safe. That's the big issue.

I've heard guys talk about this too. One guy said this on a group call. He said, "I found out my wife's always trying to get me out of the house, and I found out that's when she masturbates."

Doug Holt 20:07

He thought she's just not interested in sex. She doesn't have any sex toys, nothing. Turns out she does quite a bit, and she just was hiding them.

I think as men, we get to remember that women, marketing, religion, all these things have made it essentially tough for women to express their sexual desires.

A guy sleeps around, he's a stud. A woman sleeps around, she's a slut. That's just really boiling down to the basics.

A lot of guys don't realize that they haven't created an opportunity, maybe, for their wife to express that.

If a guy's listening to this right now, and maybe he's just in the state of, "Well, my wife likes sex, but it's pretty vanilla. We do the same positions every time," or what have you, you can do—and I have. I just created a brand-new one, which I'm happy to share with the listeners.

You and I did this three days ago, four days ago. It's a yes, no, maybe open sheet.

What that looks like, guys—how many things did I put on there, babe? Like 40?

Erin Holt 21:18

I don't know. A lot.

Doug Holt 21:19

Forty or 50? I was curious.

Erin Holt 21:22

Well, it's a lot because it's also giving and receiving.

Doug Holt 21:27

Yeah. The way I redesigned this was different than the ones I could find. We had one in TPM earlier that we used to do.

We used to have a yes, no, maybe. Let me tell them what this is, and we'll walk them through it.

Basically, it's a sheet. You could think of, "Do you like oral sex? Do you like anal sex? Do you like holding hands? Do you like to be bitten?" You can go on.

There's probably more than I think. There's like eight pages. There was a lot there.

Then you have yes, receive; yes, give; no; and then open, I think, maybe; and then open to it; and then notes. Some things you're like, "Yeah, I don't care about this one one way or the other, but if it works for you, then cool."

Then you and I—so what you do, that's what Erin and I did anyway—we exchanged those eight pieces of paper. Erin fills hers out. I go fill mine out, and then we share them with each other.

It can open some doors. There were a few things that I wouldn't say surprised me, but I had a couple "Oh" moments with your responses or your notes that you put in there. You only left a couple notes, but that's just a cool way of checking in and seeing.

As a man, I can think of, "Oh, this is what's on the menu." I get that it's not on the menu every time, but these are the options.

I think for a lot of people, especially people that grow up in a more fundamentalist—or, I mean, sex just isn't talked about. We have a puritanical society, if you will. It's just not talked about, and yet we all got here because people had sex.

That's a good way of bridging that gap and actually finding out, like, "Whoa, my partner is interested in all of these things that we're not doing."

Doug Holt 23:27

Maybe I can bring that to the table and let's have some fun.

Erin Holt 23:30

Yeah. Going back to the books, if I were to just quickly break down most of the books, some of them do have really good storylines and good character building, and some just don't.

I, of course, enjoy the ones that have good writing as well.

Doug Holt 23:45

My dad just looked at Playboy for the articles.

Erin Holt 23:48

Right.

But it's the thing. It's allowing the woman to go into her fantasy land because a huge part of our sexuality, like Doug has mentioned, is connected to being connected to the person.

The way this plays out, of course it's a fantasy. Of course it's like a cowboy or the hockey player, very fantasy land. They meet, and usually, firstly, they don't like each other. There's some noticing, but there's some things that keep it apart, so there's tension building, I think.

But the meat and the bones that really gets us women, yes, the details of what plays out between them sexually, but it's also the details of what plays out between them emotionally.

It's how they really are extremely into each other. What women want is to be adored by our partners. He is into her and into her world and into giving her pleasure—not that she doesn't give it back—but those are the things that women are starving for in relationships. That's kind of the meat and the bones.

Of course, the details that it goes into are just fun, but what is drawing women there again and again and again and again is that.

Doug Holt 24:58

Yeah. Again, that custom GPT I created would break down all the characters, their dynamics, for me so I could go into your world.

Erin Holt 25:06

I can tell my girlfriends that read them and other clients that have read them.

How does my one client say it? She's like, "The biggest turn-on for me..." Something about being extremely wanted and adored. "It's the hottest thing for me."

For other women, it's more kink stuff or whatever. But it's that feeling of, "My man wants me, desires me, wants to know how to play my body like a violin and please me, and isn't just doing it to, 'Okay, we did a little warm-up. Now can we...'"

For most women, that is the biggest turn-on.

Doug Holt 25:46

Awesome. It could be a whole other podcast.

Well, as always, I appreciate you coming here and taking time to come to the TPM Ranch and share your wisdom with all the men.

Erin Holt 25:55

As always, thanks for having me.

Doug Holt 25:56

Gentlemen, as I like to say, in the moment of insight, take massive action.

Guys, let's be real. This is a big topic. I hear this all the time from men: "My wife's just not interested in sex," or, "We haven't had sex in years."

The truth is, she is, and you are too. Once you get that fire reignited—and it starts with the fundamentals: first, emotional safety; second, she needs to feel seen, heard, and desired. To Erin's point, desired.

Once you have those in play, now you have the recipes to start doing some more stuff and educate yourself. Just like relationships, just like business, you have to learn things.

When I started my first big company, I had to learn things I didn't know about, cash flow, P&Ls. I had to learn a lot, and it was my early 20s. I studied. I hunkered down.

Do the same with sex. Learn. There's courses out there. There's books. We teach topics here at TPM. It's up to you and where you're at, but you have to learn the basics first and get that emotional safety and get it going.

Then you can find out if your wife really is not interested in sex, or, like my client that I mentioned earlier, get some electrolytes, boys, because it's going to be fun.

See you next time on the TPM Show.