Vibration and Identity: A New Perspective on Personal Growth

Episode #1180

Many successful businessmen find themselves trapped in a cycle where professional achievements fail to deliver inner peace or relationship fulfillment. When guilt, shame, or inadequacy sits beneath the surface, a high-performing man can default to doing what he knows best: working harder. He builds the company, increases revenue, hits another target, and keeps moving, hoping external success will eventually quiet what is happening internally. But when achievement fails to shift those emotions, the result can be apathy, self-sabotage, or emotional detachment at home.

Tim Matthews and Lawrence explore this through the idea of energetic vibration and the mind-body connection. What a man repeatedly thinks affects what he feels in his body, and those emotions influence how he shows up with his wife, his team, and himself. Trying to outwork guilt, fear, or shame does not process those emotions. It simply gives a man somewhere else to put his attention. Experiences such as The Alpha Reset are designed to help men confront and release that stored emotional weight rather than continuing to run from it.

But raising your energetic vibration does not mean forcing yourself to be happy all the time. Tim and Lawrence challenge the idea that a man should constantly operate from joy, gratitude, or some permanently elevated emotional state. Life has contrast. Difficult emotions will show up. The real skill is being able to experience them without allowing them to dictate your identity, decisions, or behavior.

That makes perspective and environment increasingly important. Look at the people you spend time with, the places you put yourself in, and the projects consuming your attention. Do they strengthen the man you are becoming or continually pull you back into an old version of yourself? Changing those inputs can make grounded leadership easier to sustain. For men who want to go deeper into changing how they show up across business, marriage, and life, The Activation Method takes that work beyond simply knowing what needs to change.

Ultimately, your wife and your team experience more than your words. They experience your presence. A calmer, grounded man carries a different energy into a room than a man operating from hidden shame, insecurity, or the need to prove himself. Personal growth, then, is not about manufacturing a permanently high vibration. It is about developing the awareness, perspective, and emotional stability to choose how you respond when life inevitably knocks you off center.

Timestamp Chapters

00:00 - Introduction and Episode Preview
01:31 - What Happens on a TPM Pack Accountability Call
02:28 - Defining Energetic Vibration Beyond Cliche Terms
03:33 - Mind-Body Connection and Processing Heavy Emotions
05:09 - The Trap of Outworking Shame and Guilt Through Business
06:39 - Identity Beyond Work and Reaching Baseline Peace
08:45 - Conducting an Environmental Audit: People, Places, and Projects
11:06 - Environment vs. Identity as Predictors of Performance
14:02 - Basic Human Needs, Belonging, and Insecurity in Marriage
17:05 - Doug Holt Mid-Roll: A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage
18:02 - The Bliss Machine Myth: Why High Energy All the Time Fails
21:46 - Healthy Perspective as the Ultimate Emotional Anchor
24:05 - Frequency vs. Amplitude: Calming, Grounded Vibration
26:11 - Moving from Initial Triggers to Secondary Choices
30:57 - How Your Energetic Presence Affects Your Wife and Team
34:44 - Closing Remarks and Contacting TPM 

RELATED EPISODES

• How To Recover From an Infidelity
• Beyond the Affair: How to Move Forward When She Can't Forget
• Why Cheating Changes Everything: The Unseen Scars of Infidelity
• Establishing Firm Boundaries: Transforming Relationships from Friction to Fulfillment

Frequently Asked Questions

How do high-performing men use business to cope with negative emotions?

High-performing men frequently use business achievement to outwork feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy. They rely on professional milestones, revenue, and public recognition for validation. However, because external success cannot process internal emotional weight, relying solely on work eventually leads to burnout, apathy, or relationship strain.

What is an environmental audit and how does it affect energetic vibration?

An environmental audit involves evaluating the people, places, and projects in your life to determine whether they inspire you or drain your energy. Because environment is a major predictor of performance, surrounding yourself with negative influences makes emotional growth difficult, whereas a world-class environment pulls your performance forward.

Why is trying to stay in a high-vibrational state all the time unrealistic?

Chasing constant joy, bliss, or high energy is unnatural because human life requires contrast, challenge, and variety. Expecting to stay high all the time often leads to emotional avoidance. A healthier approach is developing a grounded perspective that allows you to navigate difficult emotions without internalizing them or losing your composure.

Transcription

Tim Matthews 0:00
What you think in your mind, you feel in the body.

Lawrence 0:02
Oh, I made it my space. It was my kingdom, and I started to think, this is my domain.

Tim Matthews 0:06
If we were to take away your business tomorrow, who would you be?

Lawrence 0:09
External forces can raise and lower your vibration.

Tim Matthews 0:14
Environment is one of the greatest predictors of performance.

Lawrence 0:17
The emotions that came up from that, I was in a puddle of tears, you know, by the end of it.

Tim Matthews 0:21
The ability to sit in the uncertainty.

Lawrence 0:24
Women sense our vibration before we even walk through the door.

Tim Matthews 0:27
Shame, apathy, guilt. They're the big three.

Hey, guys, welcome to this episode. So we are going to dive into an interesting topic. It's been, it's one that one of the men, Wildcard, has brought up because it was a conversation in one of the packs last week.

For, if you don't know, the packs are a group of nine men who exist in a pod, pushing one another, holding one another accountable, with top-tier coaching there as well. So you're going to get a glimpse into one of the topics that came up and why this is so important. And the conversation goes in a surprising direction. So I hope you get a lot out of it. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and we'll see you on the inside.

Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of the TPM Show. My name's Tim Matthews. I am joined by Wildcard, who has a topic for us.

Lawrence 1:31
I do have a topic for us. I thought it would be really interesting as a conversation that came up on one of our pack calls recently.

Tim Matthews 1:37
So, just so the listeners know, explain very quickly, what's a pack call?

Lawrence 1:42
Good point. So, accountability call once a week. There'll be a group of guys get together. Usually we're sort of matched about how long we've been in the movement and our backgrounds and things. A lot of people with very similar backgrounds, and we get together once a week.

It's about an hour and a half with a coach, and we will take time to check in with each other, and sometimes there'll be an activity or whatever. But often the check-ins are key, and they come and they bring up all sorts of things.

Tim Matthews 2:10
Beautiful.

Lawrence 2:11
So last week we were talking. Well, there's two. There's two things that we were talking about. The key one I wanted to talk about today was vibration, right? We always talk. We, you know, somebody mentioned, oh, you know, about raising your vibration, and we use this as a kind of throwaway term.

Tim Matthews 2:28
I don't know what you mean, not knowing what you're into these days.

Lawrence 2:33
Not that kind of vibration. Although, that also does increase...

Tim Matthews 2:41
You do the whole energy of that. I have. You tried to style it out.

Lawrence 2:45
I did, and it didn't work.

Tim Matthews 2:46
You just dug a hole.

Lawrence 2:49
No, I'm talking about vibration in terms of an energetic vibration. Yep. And we talk about vibration a lot, and we talk about raising our vibration and lowering our vibration.

And I'd just like to get your take. I thought it'd be really interesting to have a discussion on energetics, energy, vibration. I think because it's so pervasive in, in everything we do in terms of how you turn up, how you arrive in a situation, how you arrive in a relationship, in business, all of those things.

And I think I'd like to get your take on what, how you feel about the men that we work with in the movement, and, and some stories of how they've shifted their vibration. I think that's...

Tim Matthews 3:33
I mean, I love this topic. I love the idea of energy. I'm a big believer of it. I'm a big proponent of it, as I think you probably know. I mean, so I'm just gonna riff, and, you know, you can do what you want with it.

So The Alpha Reset, as you know, you've been through it, you volunteered at it. So, 40 immersive, transformational experience. We cap it at nine guys. A lot of the thought process behind the design of that stems in this idea of what you think in your mind, you feel in the body.

Now, over the past few years since The Alpha Reset started, there's been more and more science coming out supporting this, which is great. There's a lot of science coming out to kind of back up some of the Eastern philosophies, and there's a brilliant book called The Body Keeps the Score. I think I recommended this to you. Which, again, just speaks to this idea of what you think in the mind, you feel in the body.

Now, the other piece to this, if we just park that first idea of what you think in the mind, you feel in the body, right? The second piece is energy cannot be destroyed or created; it can only change form.

So if we agree on that principle, and we agree that energy, sorry, we agree that emotion is energy in motion. Therefore, in order to raise your vibration, you need to be able to shift, move, process, whatever word you want to use, the emotions that you are living with that are heavier and therefore vibrate lower.

Those would be things like shame, guilt, apathy, fear. As you start to kind of climb up, the lowest ones are shame, apathy, guilt. They're the big three, and they're the big three that I see a lot of men live with, or say live with. A lot of the guys that are struggling with them when they come into the movement, and they've been struggling with them for quite a long time.

And the way in which they've tried to cope with them predominantly has been to outwork them. Okay. Well, when I get to this level of success, I will feel better. People will see me, or people will approve of me, or whatever it may be.

This isn't a conscious thing that they are, a story that they're telling themselves. It's often subconscious. But that's kind of the lie they've been fed through society as well, that when you have these things, the, the, the material success, the house, the car, the bank account, the business, the whatever it may be. Hey, look how good I am! I can point to all these things.

But when that validation ultimately doesn't come, they are then left to deal with the remains, ultimately, of what's actually there when you strip all that away. Because if a question I often like to ask the guys is, if we were to take away your business tomorrow, who would you be? Who would you be? What would you do?

Lawrence 6:39
What's your identity?

Tim Matthews 6:41
And so much of their identity is, is wrapped up in their business, and it's not a bad thing or a good thing or a wrong thing or a right thing. It just is. The question is, is it serving them? And usually, it isn't because it's covering up these feelings that they've been trying to run away from their entire life of shame, guilt, and when, when it stops working, that's when they reach apathy.

Apathetic means, I give up. I check out. I'm not bothered. Whatever. That's where the sabotage can come in, and they'll start to drink too much and start doing destructive behaviors, ultimately. But so many of the guys have been driven through shame and guilt as how they've learned to, to build ultimately their success. But it doesn't, it, it doesn't lead to fulfillment, and that's the ultimate failure, in my opinion. Success without fulfillment, right?

So this whole thing with vibration, the first piece, what you think in the mind, you feel in the body. Energy cannot be destroyed or created, it changes form. Therefore, you need to be able to process and, and allow those feelings of guilt and shame to move through the body. We do that at The Alpha Reset, which then helps you to arrive at a more, a place of peacefulness, ultimately.

And once you have a foundation of peace, you can then start to build on that and start to rise into even higher-vibrating emotions like joy, love, joy and love, gratitude. That's a great one. Inspiration, those kind of things.

But part of that, once you've reached this place of new peacefulness, I won't say neutrality because that's lower than, than peacefulness. You've, you've arrived at a place of peacefulness. Then need to start really. Well, you don't need to do anything. A good idea would be for you to start looking at your environment and do an environmental audit.

Who do I have in my life? The people, the places, the projects. Do they lift me up or drain me down? And in that process, you've just got to be real with yourself. It doesn't mean you need to act on it right now, but you need to be mindful of where are you going and how does it impact you.

What conversations are you involved in? What relationships do you have with the people in your life, and how do they impact you? A plus, they lift you up. A negative, they drain you. What are you working on? That's the project piece, right? And again, the places piece. Where are you spending your time?

The, the place piece could be as simple as you have an office that is very uninspiring, and you change the environment. You paint it. You put things on the wall. You have different lighting. All of a sudden, it lifts you up. It becomes a space that inspires you again, rather than looking, depresses you, right? Feel like you're working in a dungeon.

Lawrence 9:54
Not bad.

Tim Matthews 9:58
It's a different kind of dungeon I'm talking about.

Lawrence 10:02
No, I love that. It just reminded me just quickly. I came off my Alpha Reset. I was in separate bedrooms. I was in, in, in my ex-marriage, and we were in separate bedrooms.

And one of the things they said was, when you get back, you know, audit your environment. And, you know, I, I was in a situation, very low vibration, very depressed, very kind of inner space. I'd go back and I was in the spare room. You know, I was in the spare where all the other stuff's kept stored. You know, and, you know, because it was only a temporary thing. It was only going to be a temporary thing. We'll get back on track. Everything will find out.

And yet, and when I came back off The Alpha Reset, I stopped. I, I got some pictures. I got some plants. I got some stuff. You know, I made it my space. It was my kingdom, and I started to think like, you know, this is my, this is my domain. You know, and it did. It kind of, it kind of raised that up.

And I think with vibration, it's that it is external forces can raise and lower your vibration.

Tim Matthews 11:01
Oh, for sure.

Lawrence 11:02
But I think also internally we, we, we have the, we have the choice.

Tim Matthews 11:06
Well, we do, but environment is one of the greatest predictors of performance. You know, you can put a world-class performer in an average environment, right? Think about a sports team. Right, let's say there's a world-class performer. Let's say he's come up through the ranks, this, this top soccer player, right? And he then starts to realize, hang on a minute, I can't really get beyond this because this environment I'm in that I keep going to every single day is holding me back.

It's kind of like the crabs in the bucket analogy. If one crab tries to get out of the bucket, the other ones pull it back in, right? So it becomes harder and harder for him to, to achieve his levels of potential whilst he stays in that environment. Has to fight for his potential every day because the people and things around him are reflecting back to him a standard that he has outgrown.

Conversely, you could put an average performer in a world-class environment, and he'll rise. He'll rise. His performance will increase because everything that's getting reflected back to him is pulling him forwards.

So yes, we can raise our vibration ourselves. Absolutely, there are things we can do. I think about, have you been to Robben Island in South Africa?

Lawrence 12:31
Haven't, no.

Tim Matthews 12:32
It's incredible, where Mandela was imprisoned. Man, when I remember looking at the cell that he lived in. Tiny little thing, tiny little thing. But, you know, you've got a guy there who chose to, and I'm no Mandela expert by any means, but you've got a guy there who chose to focus on himself during that period of time in his cell, right?

So his environment was not great, but he could leverage. Think about Viktor Frankl. You heard of Viktor Frankl? Wrote an incredible book. I forgot what it's called now, but essentially he was a survivor of Nazi Germany, Holocaust camp. His big thing was, "Hey, the one thing you cannot take away from me is how I respond. I'm going to keep my response within my locus of control, vibration," right?

So yes, we have control over our vibration. We can do things to influence it, and also environment is also a huge predictor of it, and it can make it much easier because on our own we're just reliant on willpower.

Yes, we can lean on identity, and identity, I would argue, is probably as strong as environment because we will, we will break down walls to stay consistent with who we think we are. So if you have an identity of, I control my vibration. I am the person that, I'm responsible for my unhappiness. I control my state. And you were to really lean on that identity, then you could be dropped anywhere, and you would, you know, you'd, you'd not, I won't say you'd thrive, but in terms of vibration, you would have much more effect on it than somebody that doesn't have that identity, right?

But obviously, we all know things like nature, gratitude, journaling, working out, eating well, resting well, feeling, feeling loved. Like, there are basic human needs that we have, psychological needs that we have as human beings.

I was talking to a guy a couple of days ago. He's getting frustrated because he's feeling insecure around his wife, and he doesn't. This guy is one of the, the top, top traders on Wall Street. He's an incredible guy. He's one of the guys I work with. He's, he's in the Inner Circle as well, but I work with him one-on-one.

And he was saying to me, "Look, I feel insecure around my wife." Everywhere else in his life, he feels completely confident. I believe his insecurity around his wife is just, it's justified because there is a human need in all of us to belong to another. It's a basic human need that gives, that helps us to have psychological health and psychological well-being, to feel wanted and connected to someone that we love.

And over the past few years, because of things he's done a decade or more ago, he's rebuilding the trust with his wife, and she won't let him near her, really. And it's been like this for a few years. It's improving, but it's very tough.

And he's made a lot of advances, but she doesn't have a great deal of interest. She's told him what it is that she needs, so they're working on it. So he's got promising signs, but it's still taking time, and in that time, there is still loneliness for him, which is understandable, right?

So, if he's constantly being rejected by his wife, or getting rejected, or she said she doesn't want to spend time with him, whatever, of course he's going to feel insecure around it. I think it's, I think it'd be a bit weird if he didn't, you know?

It doesn't mean he needs to be dependent upon her approval. It doesn't mean any of those things. But of course, you're going to doubt yourself a little bit. Of course, you're going to second guess. Of course, like, there's a woman you love, you want to be with, that's saying no, and doesn't want to spend time with you, doesn't want to be intimate with you, and you feel like you're on an island, trapped in a prison. Of course you're going to feel that way, right?

Now, what you do with it is a different question.

Lawrence 17:05
Of course.

Doug Holt 17:05
I want to buy you a gift. Look, if your marriage is struggling, and let's be real, every marriage struggles at some point, but yours is struggling where you've lost that love, admiration, respect. I want to help you. I want to buy you a copy of the book that I wrote, A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It.

In here, I've distilled over eight years of programs that we've developed at TPM to help men just like you save their marriages without talking about it. There's no fluff, no BS. It's an action plan that you can start using today to actually save your marriage and bring that love and respect back into your family, back into your house. You deserve it.

Look, all I ask is you pay the postage, you pay the shipping. I'll buy the book for you. That way, you can take massive action today. Click the link or find it in the bio and get your copy now.

Tim Matthews 17:59
I can't remember how we got on that point, but...

Lawrence 18:02
But it's, it's about the people you surround yourself with. It's about, you know, the, the inputs you have externally, and, and we've talked about you can raise your own vibration. You can be, raise your own vibration by, by making the right choices to be in the right environment, to be around the right people.

And I think, you know, as part of The Powerful Man, you know, when we meet up together, we meet up twice a year. We go out on, on trips and stuff. Last time, not, was it the last time? I think I remember a breathwork session that you, you led on one of the trips.

And, you know, going into that, we were all pretty, pretty high anyway in terms of, you know, high energy, kind of like, you know, quite passionate about what we were talking about, and the depth of intimacy in terms of the conversations everyone was having was great.

And then we did that breathwork, and my whole body felt like it was on fire from tingling in the whole kind of pins and needles, and, and it just felt, you could feel like, almost feel an aura around you, and you get this kind of very physical sensation from the breath and all of that.

And, and, you know, finishing off from that, the emotions that came up from that, I was in a puddle of tears, you know, by the end of it. And you can raise that.

And I think when we talk about, the reason why I thought it was an interesting conversation for today was because one of the things that, that we talked about on a recent pack call was this, this idea that people can be chasing those heights and looking at the, looking for, looking for the sort of highest vibration they can put. Always wanting to be in joy and gratitude and things like that.

Tim Matthews 19:29
It's unrealistic.

Lawrence 19:30
It is unrealistic, and, and...

Tim Matthews 19:32
And would you even want that? Would you really want to be always high all the time? Like, sincerely. Well, I mean, it can be for sure, but I was listening to, I listened to something the other day, and it was this, this thought experiment. I found it really interesting, and this guy said, "Okay, so let's just imagine for a second that I could plant an electrode on your brain and make it so that all you feel is bliss. Would you? Would you want that?"

Lawrence 20:09
Sounds like a good plan initially.

Tim Matthews 20:11
Perfect. How long would you want it for? Right. Because you don't want it forever.

The point is, okay. Well, in this particular thing I listened to, he said, "Well, you know, I don't know. It depends what it feels like. Okay, well, most people say they want meaning. So, how about I switch out this bliss electrode and I plant the one with meaning? Do you want that? How long do you want that?"

Lawrence 20:39
That's a lot, a lot longer than I've done before.

Tim Matthews 20:42
But you're also going to want it to stop.

Lawrence 20:44
At some point.

Tim Matthews 20:46
Because it's, it's human nature. We want variety. We want a challenge. We want the lows because we can get the highs. We, that gives the texture and the richness of life.

There's seasons in life. There's seasons when it's hard. There's seasons when it's easier. There's seasons when being a lighthouse looks a particular way, and then another time you don't really, you're not really getting tested that much. And that, that's part of the magic and texture of life.

And I think maintaining a good vibration, I think a lot of it comes from the perspective that you have. Like, if you can live life with a perspective that is helpful, that is conducive to you feeling good, and that doesn't mean you're not in pain at times. That doesn't mean you're not sad at times. That doesn't mean life is hard at times.

But there's a difference between going, going through those things and internalizing them, and seeing them as something that's because of you or a reflection of you or whatever it may be. It could be because of you, and you can change it. But internalizing them means you kind of, they become you. There's victimhood within that.

Whereas if you can see them as separate to you and have a healthy perspective on them, let's take, for example, you go through something. Prime example: last night, I got an email from a building contractor that's doing work on our house. That motherfucker! I get angry now just thinking about the email.

Lawrence 22:32
Deep breath.

Tim Matthews 22:33
I called him today, and he'd completely backtracked, and everything was fine. I had written a response out on Bubba, and Amila and I spent a couple of hours last night talking through it, and, you know, it really triggered me. It really got, you know, fairness is a big value of mine, and it, it hit that, hit that nerve for me.

But all was fine today. So, but I allowed myself to go down a path of, okay, well, what if it goes this way? Well, what if it doesn't? You know, what if I just have a conversation with him and take stock, and then go to that next step that I'd already planned out? You know, so perspective.

What if it works out? What if that doesn't happen? What if there's another reason? What if? What if? What if?

I think as human beings, we often want to put things into boxes because we crave certainty so much and predictability because from there we can make plans and we can feel safe and we can grow and blah, blah, blah.

But the ability to sit in the uncertainty and to know that it'll be okay and to still exert your own sense of authority and ownership. These are all kind of perspectives to me.

Lawrence 23:51I think that's really interesting, actually, because we talk about high vibration, and we talk about what you've just described there as being a kind of centered groundedness to yourself. You know, you know, you can.

Tim Matthews 24:05
I wasn't very grounded last night.

Lawrence 24:06
No, but you identified that you weren't, and, you know, and took action. But I think so. For me, my day job is in health and safety, right? So we work with vibration for vibration white finger and vibration, hand-arm vibration, whole-body vibration, all that sort.

And when you measure vibration, you measure it in two ways. You measure it with Hertz, so the number of cycles per vibration, and you measure it in amplitude, the, the size. So it's the difference between a jackhammer, which would go, you know, nice, slow, smashing up the rocks, and a hedge trimmer or a strimmer or something like that, where you've got lots and lots of frequency, but, but very, sorry, lots of frequency, but very low amplitude, a lot less power.

And I think what you just described there, that groundedness is, is still high energy, still high vibration, but it's lots of energy. It's depth of energy, slow, consistent. You know, this, this. That's vibration. You know, when you've got a heartbeat, that kind of vibration can still be strong, high-vibration energy that you can bring to a room in a calm, calming way, and you can feel in your body in a calming way.

Whereas you can, you know, you can, you can do breathwork and you can do other things. You put yourselves in environments where you're very high vibration and you're very up and you're speaking and you're talking and you're very quickly and you're, you know, you're, you're up there with lots and lots of high frequency, but there's no, you know, you can easily be knocked off. You can be pushed off.

You know, people get, you know, get high in their job, in their business. Something happens that's really good. They're really happy, and it can only take, like, a small push from the side, and, and all of a sudden you, oh, you're crashing down again because you're not, you've got this high-frequency vibration, but it's not grounded to anything. It's not, um, it's not a, it's not a high vibration. It's just high frequency. It's noise rather than, rather than...

Tim Matthews 26:11
Ground is probably a good way of describing it. Noise, I think.

If I, if I think back to, I'm surprised by my response when I say about perspective because, you know, I wouldn't have, at the start of this conversation, I wouldn't have thought I would have gone there when I think about vibration.

So the highest, if we go by the emotional frequency chart, right, the highest level of vibration is enlightenment. And when I think about enlightenment, by no means am I saying I'm enlightened because I don't believe that by any means. But when I think about it, as acceptance sits, and acceptance also exists on the emotional frequency scale, but I think there's a, there's a, there's a, there's an element of surrender when I think about enlightenment.

There's a lack of attachment. So attachment would be, this should look different. Or with attachment usually comes a sense of unfairness. It should have been different, right?

And I think this whole idea of having a healthy perspective and how that can fuel a good vibration, I think it lends itself to that higher tier. I'm not saying doing that means you're enlightened. When I think about what comes below it, which is love, joy, gratitude, fantastic, 100%.

And at the same time, you've got tactics, right, that you can deploy. Be it you might want to pay it forward, you might want to write some gratitudes out, you might want to give some love. They're all great things, very worthwhile things. And at the same time, if you just try and hang out there your entire life, I just don't believe that's possible. I think that's, I think you're avoiding something because that is not human nature. That's not life.

Goes back to the, the bliss machine experiment. Hey, do you want to have love all the time? Of course not. You want to experience love. You're also going to drop out of love into something else. You're going to get angry at times. That doesn't mean that you're not necessarily. I don't want to say not enlightened because this isn't about enlightenment, but I'm on about the, the perspective piece.

You can still, the perspective becomes the anchor. You keep coming back to that, and the quicker you come back to it, the better, right? Which goes to your grounded piece, and the healthier this perspective is, the better, and the more you're able to clean your side of the street with it, the better.

And within it, there's, like I said, some acceptance. And I think if you have that as a base, rather than the tactical things like ARS or whatever it may be, which maybe Viktor Frankl, maybe I think that's what he had when he's talking about, hey, you won't take away my ability to, for me to choose how I respond to this situation as perspective.

So, if I was to sum it, summarize it down to one thing, even I said about, hey, feeling your thing in your mind, you're feeling in the body, process things. Yes, cool. That's all true, and I think there's a somatic element. There's, I think there's a, a real element, practical element to this. That if you're living with heaviness, that gets to, that energy gets to be moved and, and released.

But I think, aside from that, which you could say is a tactic, if I was to kind of put it on one thing, if I was to, this one thing, this one thing would help me to raise my vibration on a consistent basis, it would probably be, how healthy is my perspective? How healthy is my perspective?

Lawrence 30:10
No, that's brilliant. I think that's right because it is what, you know, what you, what you create in your mind is, is what happens, and it is about you having, having that perspective, and...

Tim Matthews 30:21
It's, and what do I do with it as well, right? Because you have a good perspective, but then if you tolerate shit the entire time, goes back to the environment thing, which makes it harder.

So, so there's a, there's a perspective and an authorship piece. Okay, here's my perspective, and I want to do something with it. I think that's, there's, there's those two have to go hand in hand.

It's not just, oh, here's my perspective. I'm going to sit back and try and think positive and, you know, meditate, and my life's going to be great.

Lawrence 30:50
The power of sensitive thinking.

Tim Matthews 30:52
And there's, there's, there's usefulness to that, but when done in a vacuum...

Lawrence 30:57
I think that the, the importance of vibration for me isn't, isn't necessarily what you feel inside yourself. It's, it's your thinking, how it affects your thinking when you're in those kind of those, those frequencies, and how it affects other people around you.

You know, because as a leader in a business, you, if you go into a business meeting with a very low vibration, you know, it, people, people sense it immediately. And, and, and, you know, we've sensed it in our relationships. Women sense our vibration before we even walk through the door.

And, and as you get better at under, you know, learning to read emotions, their emotional landscape, you can sense yourself when somebody walks through the door and they're, they're flat, they're down, they're, you know, they're out of it, and, and you choose to, what you do to, you know, to respond to that. But it does affect other people.

And I think that's, that's what people are seeing as they're trying to rebuild, you know, the guys that are trying to rebuild their relationships. They want to be in high vibration all the time. They want to be, you know, they want to be holistic. You know, the, the chief fun officer means that I've got to be, you know, happy all the time, and I've got to want to do this and I don't want to do that.

And actually, there's that grounded piece as well in the lower, the lower frequency, higher amplitude.

Tim Matthews 32:12
I mean, comes back to just feeling good, like a real simple thing. You feel good. You can be in a shitty situation and still feel good. And that feeling good comes from the alignment, which is, I am living in a way that I feel I should be living. Whatever that means for you, right?

Because not being aligned in that, that creates the most disharmony, right? Kind of goes to the identity piece, right? Identity is one of the strongest forces in our personality, right? To the need for us to be consistent with who we think we are, and therefore live the life that we think we should be living. If there's a disconnect from that, then it's, it brings up a lot of stuff.

But if there's harmony there and you can feel good, regardless of what that means you're doing, whether you're a, a fucking, thinking for some reason I've got a dinner lady in my mind and a traffic, a lollipop lady who walks kids across. Like, I'm just, I don't know why they've come into my mind, but whatever. Like, if that's what you want to do and you feel good, great.

Again, some of the, in theory, on paper, the most painful times of my life, I've still felt good in them. I've still felt complete in them. So, so, again, it goes to vibration piece.

Lawrence 33:43
That's incredible. If you, you know, I think I said, I said to my ex-partner, you know, that you can't make me feel anything. You can do things, and then I could get to choose about how I feel.

Now, I'm not talking about the initial feeling. You know, sometimes you get, you get hit with something, you get activated, triggered, whatever, and, and you, you feel something, but you get to choose about what that secondary emotion is, where, what you, what you get to do with that. And, and, you know, you can turn a, for an initial reaction into a secondary emotion and decide, you know, make a decision as to what you're going to do with that.

Tim Matthews 34:16
It's not about where you hang out; it's about where you live. You know, you could dip into a lower-vibration emotion while still generally having a higher-vibrational way of life, you know. Because, again, you're going to come back to that. You can, you're not living in that lower thing. That's the difference.

Interesting. I like that whole bliss machine idea, though.

Lawrence 34:41
Good, isn't it? That is good.

Tim Matthews 34:44
Your initial response is yes. Oh, all the time.

Lawrence 34:46
Okay, well, imagine I'm on the toilet. I'm feeling bliss.

Tim Matthews 34:51
Interesting point. On the toilet, I don't want to feel bliss.

Okay, guys. As well, thanks for joining us for another episode of the TPM Show. If you want to find out more about what we do here, be it The Activation Method, The Brotherhood, The Alpha Reset, Inner Circle, one-on-one coaching, whatever it may be, just send an email in to VIP. That's veryimportantperson@thepowerfulman.com.

The team will pick it up. They'll respond to you and see if we can help you. Until next time, we'll see you again on the TPM Show.